


tourmaline

by lowkeyamen



Series: solitaire platinum [3]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Agoraphobia, Alternate Universe - Stripper/Exotic Dancer, Are any pimps good?, Bad Pimps, Financial Issues, Getting Together, Jaehyun is naive and gets used, Learning to trust, Love at First Sight, M/M, Mommy Kink, More tags to be added, Multi, Polyamory, Prostitution, Recovery, Sexual Abuse, Strippers & Strip Clubs, Ten doesn't trust ANYONE, This one is extra bad, emotionally repressed character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:35:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 55,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25001002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lowkeyamen/pseuds/lowkeyamen
Summary: Jaehyun didn't believe in love at first sight until he met Ten. Now he feels like he has to save him.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Jungwoo, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Taeyong, Kim Jungwoo/Lee Taeyong, Lee Taeyong/Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten
Series: solitaire platinum [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1003365
Comments: 162
Kudos: 247





	1. stag do

**Author's Note:**

> aaaaaaaaand we're back!!!!!  
> ALREADY!
> 
> i know sapphire just ended but i can't resist this lil family i love them so much and people have been asking about ten's back story A LOT and it's finally here.  
> prepare yourself, tho, because it's not only riddled with angst (in true solitaire style) but it takes on some pretty serious topics such as homophobia, forced prostitution, physical, emotional and sexual abuse and mental illness as well as other things  
> please note that none of the things mentioned above will be glamorised in anyway but as with the whole of this series, it's very real and unfortunately that doesnt always equal sunshine and rainbows. hopefully it will help you understand ten better as a character  
> but ofc as u know if you've been reading the rest of the rest of the series there IS a happy ending! so at least there is this
> 
> each chapter will be tagged with a specific trigger warning for what is about to come up, but i just wanted to set the tone at the very start, so you have some idea as to what to expect.
> 
> TW for chapter 1:  
> -prostitution
> 
> PS v sorry hansol, but someone had to be the bad guy in this fic and he drew the short straw

_tourmaline_

_helps overcome self-destructive behaviours and emotional dysfunction while promoting a sense of protection._

✧ ✦ ✧

"Yongqin! Room three, now!"

Ten inwardly groaned; he couldn't be bothered with this shit tonight. He was hoping to get through the rest of his shift hiding behind the bar so no one else would request him. He didn't even really care about the money at this point, he just wanted to go home and sleep. 

"How long for?" 

"Til 5am."

Ten blanched. This guy wanted him for _four hours?_ This time he groaned out loud. What kind of creep would want a stripper for four hours? One who knew he would be willing to do a hell of a lot more, obviously.

"That's when I finish! Jesus Christ. He's gonna be fucking disgusting isn't he? Do you think if I threw myself down the stairs he'd let me go home?" 

Jongin shrugged, spraying a fine, shimmery mist over his abs to make them glisten in the dim lighting of the club. "Maybe if you die." 

Ten rolled his eyes, checking over his makeup in the mirror. Good enough, it'll do. He mentally psyched himself up for spending five whole hours with what he assumed to be some obese, sweaty middle aged man with a wife and kids at home who wanted way more than a lap dance. Ten was in no way against offering extra services, in fact, that was a big fucking part of his job, but he really was not in the mood to be sucking off old men tonight. 

"Ask that new kid to bring me plenty of drinks throughout the night, I'm gonna need to be pretty pissed for this. Plus, I want someone to check I'm still alive."

He made his way down the deep purple hallway, stopping outside the third private room around the back of the club. He took a deep breath. _Come on Ten, you can do this, game face._ He put on the sultry façade he wore every night, masking his usual resting bitch face. 

He opened the door slinking into the gaudily decorated room, shutting it behind him. 

"Hi, sexy, I'm Yon-"

There was no one there. Was this some kind of joke? For fucks sake. He really did not have the patience for Jongin's terrible banter tonight. 

"Hi."

"Jesus fucking Christ!" Ten jumped, eyes darting to the corner of the room nearest the door where a tall blonde stood. He corrected himself, remembering he was at work. "Sorry I...I didn't see you there."

The man smiled, well, boy was probably more apt than man, he looked barely out of his teens, there was no way he was older than Ten was. He had a good half-foot on him, though; he was slim and had the most gorgeous eyesmile Ten had ever seen. He wasn't used to young, attractive men requesting his time. What was this guy doing wasting his money on a stripper? Oh god, maybe he really was a murderer. 

"Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, I was just looking at the art. There's some nice stuff in here." 

Ten quirked an eyebrow, ok so this guy wasn't an obese old creep, but he was weird. Who comes to a strip club to look at the art? Ten was sure none of his other clients had even realised there were paintings on the walls. 

"Jaehyun." The blonde put his hand out for Ten to shake, which he took hesitantly. "Nice to meet you." 

"...Yongqin." Ten used his mandarin name at work; despite the fact Ten wasn't his real name either. He didn't want customers calling him that. It felt weird. 

He cleared his throat, trying to get over the absurdity of the situation. This was far from how guys usually greeted him. But he had a job to do. Jaehyun requested his time... a lot of it. He had to make it worth his while if he planned on getting any kind of tip. 

"Why don't you take a seat?" His voice switched, becoming more breathy as he led Jaehyun over to the red velvet chaise lounge at the far side of the room. "Just relax a little, tell me about yourself."

"Oh- Okay," Jaehyun started as he sat down. He'd never been to a strip club before so he wasn't really sure what standard procedure was but... "Well I'm nineteen, almost twenty, and I'm a-"

Jaehyun froze as Ten straddled him. Hips moving slowly against his own. What the-

"Tell me what you like." Ten whispered close to Jaehyun's ear. It was obvious that he was new to all of this. Ten always found the newcomers kind of cute. He liked messing with them. 

"I-I like going to the cinema and-"

"No." Ten stopped him, reaching down between Jaehyun's thighs to grab a handful of his bulge, making the younger squeak. "Tell me what you _like_. What you'd like to do to me."

Jaehyun gaped. What he'd... Was Yongqin a-? Well, that would explain the bed in the corner of the room. 

"I-I don't-"

"Come on, baby, it's okay." Ten ground down a little harder. He wanted Jaehyun to come out of his shell a little more because he was actually... really pretty. He had hit the jackpot here. A guy paying for him the whole night that didn't completely repulse him? Now he didn't have to spend any time with other clients. Bingo. "I'm yours now; you can do anything you want to me."

"M-Mine?" Jaehyun stuttered out as Ten guided his hands to his ass, forcing him to squeeze. This... this isn't exactly what he had expected to happen tonight... Which in hindsight may have been completely naive of him, but- "I just-"

"Go on, say it. There's no need to be embarrassed." Ten purred, pushing his hips back into Jaehyun's hands. "Do you want me to suck your dick? Fuck my face, maybe? Or do you want me to ride you, hm? Do you want to watch me bounce on your cock, desperate for more like the filthy little whore I am?"

Whore? Was he really a-

"I-I just wanted to talk!" Jaehyun blurted out, holding his hands up. He felt awful for touching Yongqin like that, even though the other had urged him to. He didn't want to use him. He just wanted to... talk. 

"T-Talk?" Ten sat back on Jaehyun's knees. He had had some pretty odd requests in his time, but that was definitely the weirdest. Who would pay for a hooker for the entire night just to talk? "You... do realise what I do, right?"

"I- Yeah." He did now. Jaehyun had originally thought that Yongqin was just a stripper, that the back rooms were just for private dances. The type where the client wasn't allowed to touch. Like in the movies. But... Yongqin was clearly more than that. "I just- I saw you dancing before; I couldn't take my eyes off you. You're breath-taking."

Ten gaped. Was this seriously happening? Did Jaehyun have a crush on him? This was all so alien to someone like him. Sure, guys complimented him, but not like this, it was usually more along the lines of 'your lips are so pretty, I'd love to see them wrapped around my dick'. 

"You seriously just want to talk?" Ten deadpanned. Why the fuck would anyone want to talk to him? He was nothing more than a worthless prostitute. 

Jaehyun nodded softly, a coy smile on his face. 

"I'd like to get to know you better, if that's okay."

"And you're gonna pay me?"

"Of course! I can pay you up front if you'd like."

Ten blinked a couple of times. Was this actually happening? Had he blacked out while being fucked by some absolute monstrosity of a man and this was all just a dream? Was he dissociating again because clients were beginning to pick up on that and Hansol wouldn't be impressed if he found out and-

He flinched as Jaehyun's hand came to rest on top of his. 

No. This was definitely real. 

"Okay." 

Ten shuffled off of Jaehyun's lap, settling down beside him on the chaise lounge as the blonde rooted through the inside pockets of his blazer. His eyebrows furrowed as Jaehyun began to write out a cheque. That made a nice change to the crumpled notes he was used to having tossed at him. 

"Is this enough? 

Ten's jaw dropped as he looked down at the cheque. 

£500? 

Jaehyun was giving him half a grand? That was more than Ten made in a few weeks once Hansol got his cut, never mind a night. He stared up at the blonde, mouth agape, eyebrows furrowed. He didn't know whether to be flattered or freaked out. Why was Jaehyun doing this?

Jaehyun fretted at Yongqin's lack of response; eyes wide. "Oh god, sorry, is that not enough? I can give you more. I don't want you to miss out just because of me."

Ten was speechless. He would have usually jumped at the chance to bleed some idiot dry. But here Jaehyun was, offering him more money than Ten had ever had in his life and he didn't even hesitate to turn it down. 

"Wow, you've never been to a strip club before, huh? Listen kid, this is sweet, but I can't take this. I'm not worth anywhere near this much. If I make like £200 in a night it's a miracle." 

Jaehyun cocked his head, honey blonde locks falling into his eyes, a small 'really?' leaving his lips. He blinked a couple of times, as if he was reconsidering his offer. Ten offered the cheque back to Jaehyun; no one was stupid enough to pay that much for him. He might ride dick like a pro but no one was that good. 

Jaehyun shook his head. "Take it; you're definitely worth more than that."

Ten shifted, he felt more uncomfortable in this situation than he did with an entire board of business men leering at him, taking advantage of the fact this particular club doesn't have a 'no touch' rule. This didn't feel right. He couldn't understand why anyone would do this for him. 

"What do you want from me?" Jaehyun must want him to do something... really messed up for this amount of money. Ten was no stranger to the weird, sordid requests of his clients. And he may not always be into them, but what choice did he have but to indulge people? It was his job, after all. But no one had ever offered him anywhere near this much. He had only charged double for that guy who wanted to eat him out after fucking him. Which was... gross to say the least. But at least it wasn't the other way around.

There was no way Jaehyun only wanted to talk. 

"I've told you. I just want to get to know you better."

"But...why?" People didn't speak to him. They didn't ask how his day was going or wanted to know his opinion on the current political climate. The only thing they wanted to hear coming from his mouth were moans, screams for more. He was just an object. Just there to do what he was told and take whatever was thrown at him. 

Why the fuck would Jaehyun want to get to know him better?

Jaehyun shrugged. 

"I dunno, there's just something about you. When I saw you up there on stage I couldn't take my eyes off of you and...Well," he chuckled lowly, hoping this wouldn't make him sound too creepy, "when I found out you could book private dances I kind of... didn't want anyone else to have you."

There it was. Of course Jaehyun just saw him like an object. Just like everyone else did. 

"I really do just want to get to know you. I would never... pay you to do any of that."

"But that's my job. I'm a fucking prostitute, Jaehyun." Ten snapped. None of this made any sense and it was starting to scare him a little. "I'm not here to talk. I'm here to get fucked over and over again by god knows how many guys. And you... want to get to know me better? Seriously?"

Jaehyun was a little taken aback by that comment. He knew what Yongqin did for a living, he wasn't stupid, or at least now he had wished up, he wasn't. But hearing it come from his mouth was...

"But you're more than that."

"How would you know?" Ten spat. He wasn't, he- That's literally all he was. 

"I don't, yet... But that's why I want to get to know you better."

Ten tugged at the hem of his shorts. Jaehyun seemed so...genuine. He didn't understand why the blonde was being so nice to him. No one was ever nice to him...

"How about we treat this like a date?" Jaehyun smiled, looking around the room, all velvet, burgundy, gold and violet and fairly tasteless art. "In a... really tacky Moulin rouge themed cafe."

Ten couldn't help but snort. Jaehyun was... dare he say... _cute_. 

"I don't really date."

"Well, tonight you do." Jaehyun smirked, leaning back against the love seat, his confidence growing a little now Yongqin wasn't on top of him. "I did pay for your company, after all."

Ten's eyebrows shot up under dark hair. Maybe Jaehyun wasn't as cute as he first came off. Maybe he had a slight edge to him. That made Ten a little nervous, but more... intrigued. 

He wasn't sure why. He always tried to distance himself from clients as much as possible. He didn't want anything to do with them once they had gotten what they wanted. He just wanted their money and for them to leave. 

But Jaehyun was different. Not only was he really hot, and honestly, he would more than happily let Jaehyun fuck him for free. But he seemed... kind. Sort of sweet. That was something Ten wasn't used to, and while it scared him a little, he wanted... more. He wanted someone to be kind to him. For once. 

"So, a date, huh?" Ten crossed his legs, turning so he was facing Jaehyun. "What happens on one of those?"

"You've never been on a date before?" Jaehyun questioned. He found that hard to believe. Yongqin was stunning. 

The dancer shook his head. "Why would anyone bother when they can bend me over for thirty quid?"

'Thirty?' Jaehyun mouthed. That was all Yongqin thought he was worth? That was... heartbreaking. 

Jaehyun cleared his throat, pushing that thought to the back of his mind. He didn't really want to think about Yongqin in that way. He wanted to see past that. He wanted to see Yongqin the person, not the... prostitute. 

"So... I guess your first date is with me, then. Huh?"

"I guess it is." Ten quirked an eyebrow. Jaehyun had this... commanding energy about him. This underlying tone in his voice that sent a chill up Ten's spine. Excited him. The fact that Jaehyun didn't want to sleep with him, only made Ten want him more. It was stupid...he was finally getting some sort of respite from his shitty job of catering to the needs of men three times his age and all he could think about was Jaehyun pinning him against the wall and-

That was what he did best, right? Putting out? He couldn't think of any other reason people would like him apart from his ass, how good he sounded when he moaned their name. 

He shuffled a little closer to Jaehyun, hand coming to rest on the blonde's thigh. If Jaehyun was trying to pull the nice guy act on him, then it had worked. He had made Ten feel a little...special, even. But he didn't expect him to keep it up. He didn't have to pretend around Ten. He didn't have to try and impress him or woo him to get into his pants. Ten was more than happy to give that up. 

"Just so you know, I'm the type to put out on the first date."

Jaehyun's eyes widened slightly. He couldn't understand why Yongqin brought everything back to sex. He knew that was the elder's job, but... Was that really all he thought of himself? 

Before he knew it Yongqin's lips were on his, a leg thrown over his lap, fingers in his hair as the dancer moaned into his mouth. And Jaehyun let him. He let Yongqin kiss him, because ultimately that was what he wanted. Of course it was. Yongqin was absolutely beautiful, Jaehyun had been infatuated with him from the second he laid eyes on him, he wanted him, didn't want anyone else to have him, but...

He couldn't dive into this. He wanted to show Yongqin that he was more than just a prostitute. More than his body. He was here to talk to him, not make out with him. 

So he pulled back. 

"Yongqin, I-"

Ten's eyebrows furrowed. What the fuck? People didn't pull away from him. If anything, he was usually the one trying to escape some drunken old man's lips. Did Jaehyun... seriously not want him?

No. Why would he? Why would someone as gorgeous as Jaehyun want someone like Ten? Someone who had already been used by multiple men that very night. 

"What's your problem?" Ten shot back, putting space between him and Jaehyun. He didn't understand any of this. Didn't understand why Jaehyun didn't just want to fuck him and get it over with. "Do you seriously not want to sleep with me?"

"I d- of course I do, I just-" Jaehyun fidgeted. "I want you to want it, Yongqin. I don't want you to feel like you have to. Because I paid you."

"But... You- I don't understand." 

"I told you, I just want to talk." Jaehyun smiled softly, taking Yongqin's hand in his own. "I really do want to get to know you."

"Bu-"

"I want you to get to know me better too. And maybe... Maybe even date you. Properly."

Date? Ten's breath froze in his lungs. Jaehyun wanted to date him? Like... be boyfriends? What the fuck? Did Ten look like the dating type? Seriously? 

Ten stared down at their hands, eyes unfocusing as Jaehyun's fingers intertwined with his own. An action so subtle, so delicate... probably the closest thing Ten had felt to affection in god knows how long. 

And it... made him uncomfortable. Made him feel... suffocated. Like he wanted to run because this had to be a lie, surely. Jaehyun had to be putting on some kind of façade to trick him into... something because why the fuck would anyone want anything to do with him beyond sex? 

He couldn't do this. 

Ten snapped his hand back, as if he had been scalded by Jaehyun's touch. 

He really couldn't do this. 

"You need to leave."

"Wh- Yongqin? Why?"

"I can't- I can't do this." Ten scrambled around, trying to remember where he put that cheque. He needed to give it back. He may have missed out on a couple of hours work, and Hansol was going to be beyond pissed at him for losing him this much money, but... He just couldn't. This freaked him out too much. "Please, just go."

Jaehyun's lips fell open, as Yongqin shoved the cheque back at him. Had he said something wrong? 

"But I... I just want to talk."

"You can't." Ten shook his head before standing, putting a considerable amount of distance between the two of them, ensuring Jaehyun couldn't try and grab him or anything. He barely knew the guy, had no idea if he had a temper or not. Most men didn't like being told no. He knew that all too well. "That's not what I'm here for. You can either fuck me and pay me for that, or you can go."

Jaehyun blanched. Had he come on too strongly? He was just... trying to be nice. Trying to treat Yongqin like an actual human and he- He didn't seem to want it. He actually wanted to be treated like nothing more than some cheap hooker. 

"Okay." Jaehyun nodded. He wasn't going to stick around and coerce Yongqin into doing something he didn't want to like he was sure most guys would. He'd just... leave him alone. Just like he wanted. 

He stood, noticing Yongqin's shoulders visibly droop as he opened the door, the dancer finally exhaling, as if he could finally relax. Jaehyun hoped to god Yongqin hadn't thought he was going to hurt him or anything...

"Bye, Yongqin."

Ten let out a whimper as the door clicked shut. Oh thank god. That was... way too fucking weird for his liking. Why the hell anyone would want to date him was a complete mystery. Jaehyun mustn't be right in the head. It was probably best that he got himself out of the situation as quick as he could, despite how good the money was. He was fairly sure Jaehyun was just trying to lure him in. He wasn't quite sure what into, but no one was ever that nice to him. Why would they be? He clearly wanted something. 

He sighed to himself. It was getting late. Really late. And he had barely made any money. Hansol was going to kill him if all he could show from a whole nights work was a few bills that were thrown at him while he was on the pole. 

He should have just taken the fucking cheque and did whatever the fuck Jaehyun wanted from him. Now he'd have to go and find as many punters as possible before the night was through. Wonderful. 

He sorted the cushions on the chaise lounge out before leaving. If there was one thing Hansol didn't like even more than his whores not making him any money, it was mess. Ten didn't want to be in his bad books twice over. 

And that's when he came across it. A folded up piece of paper nestled against red velvet. Ten swore his heart stopped beating. That couldn't possibly be-

He unfolded it. 

£500. 

Jaehyun... left him the cheque? Jaehyun left him half a grand after Ten had kicked him out? But why? He didn't do anything...

Maybe... Maybe there was nothing sinister about Jaehyun after all. Maybe he was just being paranoid. 

Ten smiled to himself softly. It was as if Jaehyun knew how much trouble he was going to be in if he didn't make enough tonight. This was actually really... sweet.

"Ten!" 

He jumped as someone banged on the door. They already knew Jaehyun had left? Seriously? Could he not just get five minutes of peace in this place? "You have a client waiting, get yourself cleaned up!"

He groaned to himself. He really should have just let Jaehyun talk to him all night.

"I'll be two minutes!"

✧ ✦ ✧

"Hey, 'Mallow, how was the stag do?" Jaehyun sighed to himself as a pair of arms wrapped around him from behind, as Jungwoo nuzzled into his shoulder. "Not too hungover. I hope."

"Nah I was pretty sensible." Jaehyun settled back into his boyfriends hold. "Wasn't really my scene."

"Oh yeah, where did you end up?"

"Some strip club."

"Oh?" That piqued Jungwoo's interest. He could not imagine Jaehyun in a strip club. At all. "Hope you didn't pay for a lap dance when I was stuck here all alone." Taeyong had been holed up in the library all night, meaning Jungwoo had to occupy himself with a dildo while his boyfriends were away. 

"Nah, like I said, not my scene." The tips of Jaehyun's ears turned red as he remembered Yongqin's hips moving against his own. As he remembered the stripper urging him to touch him. He felt so tiny in Jaehyun's lap. 

Jungwoo picked up on it instantly, observant as ever. "What's wrong, baby, did something happen?"

Jaehyun made a sort of whining sound as Jungwoo nose nuzzled just behind his ear. He couldn't keep anything from the younger. 

"There was this boy-"

"Don't tell me you've fallen in love with a stripper." Jungwoo snorted. 

Jaehyun tensed up in Jungwoo's arms. Why was he so damn transparent? 

"Oh… really?"

Jaehyun sighed. "Love is a bit extreme, I was… captivated with him."

"Isn't that, like, the point? How they make their money? They're supposed to draw you in."

"I dunno." Jaehyun whined again. His stomach felt weird when he thought about Yongqin. "I wasn't really paying much attention, people selling themselves isn't exactly my thing. Leering over people like that feels kinda gross. But he… I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. He was so beautiful, and the way he moved, I just couldn't stop looking. And even though he had the whole sultry temptress thing going on, I felt like there was more to him. He looked really sad, like, behind it all."

There was a point last night where Yongqin was crawling to the front of the stage, after his pole routine was through, presumably so punters could get a better look at him, could throw more money at him, and Jaehyun had caught his eye. They were so dark, so focused, like he was trying his hardest to put on a façade so no one would get in and see the real him. But that's exactly what Jaehyun wanted to see. 

"Well, maybe he was. I'm not sure any little boy's dream is to be a stripper, honey." 

"Yeah." Jaehyun breathed out. "I just wanted to get to know him better, so I-"

He fiddled with Jungwoo's fingers, twisting the ruby ring on his pointer, a little afraid to admit what he'd done. Who paid for a private dance from a stripper while his boyfriend was at home? Even worse, said stripper turned out to be more than that and tried to sleep with him. Nothing had happened - not really - but he felt like he'd cheated in a way. The boundaries of their relationship were still a little blurry. 

"I requested a private dance from him, not for that - obviously. You know I'd never buy anyone for something like that, Woo. Not after- Everything." Jaehyun's nose scrunched up at the thought. Being in a strip club alone brought back too many memories he'd tried to forget. He hated the idea of anyone being treated like they were less than human. "I just wanted to talk to him for a bit."

Jungwoo hummed behind him, confirming that he was listening but wanted Jaehyun to carry on without interrupting. 

"But then things got weird."

"How weird?"

"He seemed kind of… insulted. Or, like, he couldn't understand why I'd brought him there. He was… more than a stripper, Jungwoo. He thought I wanted to- To use him. He seemed scared."

"That's probably what he's used to, sweetheart." It wasn't nice, at all, but Jungwoo knew it was probably the truth. He had worked with a lot of sex workers, and while plenty of them enjoyed their jobs and chose to do it... He had met people who felt like they didn't have a choice. Like this was the only thing keeping them afloat as they tried to make it in the modelling industry. "People don't usually want to spend time alone with people like him just to talk. He probably found it hard to believe. Thought you had darker intentions."

Jaehyun gripped around Jungwoo's fingers a little tighter. That was so… awful. 

"He spoke about himself like he was completely worthless. I didn't like that, at all. He reminded me of Taeyong a little and- I couldn't bear it." 

"He made me leave, which I hated, because I knew that meant he'd have to… be with other people instead. I don't mean that in a possessive way, just, I dunno, I wanted to save him from that. Just for one night."

"You can't save everyone, Jae." Jungwoo pressed a kiss to his boyfriend's cheek. He knew what a big heart Jaehyun had. "Some people don't want to be saved. You never know, maybe he actually enjoys it. That's not totally unbelievable, right?" 

Jaehyun hummed. He guessed... Sex was great and everything, but- Getting paid for it? It would never be high on his list if possible careers. Maybe Yongqin did like it. He seemed pretty excited about the idea of sleeping with him to start with...

But his guy was telling him that wasn't the case. 

"I know, but I wish I could at least help him. Maybe I did, in a way. I paid him for his time even though he asked me to leave." 

Jaehyun wasn't sure whether he should tell Jungwoo just how much he paid. They were trying to save up for a house deposit so they could get out of their tiny Camden apartment. It barely fit the three of them in, and he was pretty sure if Taeyong didn't get his own space soon, he was going to lose it. But he had just gotten a pretty sweet payment from his last job, and it may be a little irresponsible to go out and blow a portion of it, but he felt like he deserved to let his hair down.

But after Yongqin had told him how much he charged for _his services_ , he couldn't help himself. He wasn't exactly well versed in the going rates of prostitutes, but thirty pounds seemed awfully low for that. Yongqin was selling himself for next to nothing. 

"Well, I'm sure he appreciated that anyway." Jungwoo smiled to himself. He wasn't at all surprised that Jaehyun had done that. His giving nature was one of Jungwoo's favourite things about him. "Maybe you made his night a little."

"I hope so." Jaehyun wasn't convinced. It didn't seem like enough. He felt like he had to do more. He couldn't help getting so attached to people, it's just who he was. 

He rolled over so he was facing Jungwoo, wanting to push everything to the back of his mind for a bit. He was in bed with his gorgeous boyfriend, after all. 

"How was your night, anyway? Miss me?"

"Ask Julien." Jungwoo giggled, leaning in for a kiss now he had access to Jaehyun's lips. 

Jaehyun rolled his eyes at the fact Jungwoo insisted on naming all of his favourite sex toys. He loved Jungwoo to pieces, but he was really fucking weird. 

"You couldn't even last a night?"

"Well, I didn't have Taeyong to cuddle with so I had to keep myself entertained somehow." Jungwoo smirked. What could he say, he got lonely really easily. "You can make it up to me now if you want, though. He's not as good as you."

Jaehyun whined, he may not be hungover, but he was a little sensitive from last night. He wasn't sure he could cope with much... movement. 

"I dunno if my dick's up to it, baby."

"Is he still sad because of that stripper?"

Jaehyun nodded with a soft laugh. He really didn't feel like being on top this early in the morning. 

"But... I wouldn't object to you taking care of me... if you want."

Jungwoo's smile grew, pinching Jaehyun's cheeks - by far his favourite part of his boyfriend. They were so soft and squishy and ahh- Jungwoo could spend the whole day prodding them and kissing them and sucking on them and- he was getting carried away. 

"I would love to, my little marshmallow." Jungwoo kissed him again, giggling against his lips. "You gonna be a good boy for me?"

Jaehyun felt his cheeks heat up. It still caught him off guard whenever Jungwoo took on a more dominant role. He was so sweet and fluffy, but- He was the only person Jaehyun would let take control. 

"Yes, Mommy."

✧ ✦ ✧

"Put the TV on, will you?"

Ten shuddered as someone pulled out of him, fingers gripping into sweat-soaked bedsheets. He couldn't actually remember how long they'd been at it. He had been working all night before Hansol pulled him out early and decided he wanted to have a little fun of his own. He just wanted to pass out and go to sleep, pretend none of this had ever happened, but... That wasn't going to happen, was it?

He reached over to the bedside table, blindly grasping around for the remote as his eyes tried to refocus. 

"We need to talk about your profits this week." Hansol lit a cigarette before handing Ten one. He didn't really want it, but took it anyway, hoping it would help clear his head a little. "You actually did good. Guess there's a reason why you're my favourite whore."

Ten's entire body seized up as Hansol's fingers ran through his hair. Praise was something he received so infrequently he was almost thankful of it. 

"How the fuck did you manage to make half a grand off of one guy?"

Ten furrowed his eyebrows as he tried to remember. That didn't sound right. That was a lot of money. Who would ever pay him that? 

Oh. 

That blonde guy. The tall one. What was his name again?

"Jaehyun Jung." Hansol mused beside him, reading the cheque in his hands aloud. "What's a guy with this much money doing with you? He could pay for a real, high class whore if he was that desperate. You aren't worth anywhere near this much."

Ten took as drag of his cigarette as it all came flooding back. He tended to block out most of his interactions with clients, living most of his life on autopilot, it wasn't like he had much to enjoy or remember, anyway, and Jaehyun must have gotten swept up in that. 

He had thought about ripping the cheque up and throwing it away, scared that Jaehyun would come back and want something much worse than talking if he took the money. He was terrified of getting mixed up with anyone else who may be dangerous over a large sum of cash. That was already a nightmare he was living. 

But he couldn't. He had to take it. There was no way he could pass up an opportunity like that, no matter what the consequences may be. 

"What the fuck did he have you do for half a grand?"

"Uh-" Ten struggled to think of something. He couldn't tell Hansol what had actually happened, he'd kill him for sending a client away, especially one that was willing to pay so handsomely. And he couldn't tell him that Jaehyun just wanted to talk. He'd never believe it anyway. "He just said he was really stressed and wanted to take it out on me. Slapped me about a bit."

He wasn't sure how believable that was for such a large amount, but his brain was barely functioning and it was the best he could scrape together night now. 

Hansol hummed, completely unphased by what Ten had just told him. He couldn't care less what paying customers did to his whores, so long as they did actually pay. 

"Hope you're seeing him again."

Ten fidgeted, taking another drag of his cigarette in lieu of actually having to say anything. Of course he wasn't going to see Jaehyun again. Not even for that amount of money. He had kicked the guy out for God's sake. 

"I'm not sure he's even from around here..." Ten tried to make up an excuse, hoping Hansol would buy it. "Think he was just visiting for business or something. Don't really remember."

"Jaehyun Jung, born and raised in London." Ten flinched as Hansol spoke. What? How the fuck- he looked across at the elder, who seemed to be reading something with great intent on his phone. "He's a model. Explains why he had so much money."

Jaehyun was a model? Great. He would be easily traceable in one way or another. 

"Can't believe you didn't get his number or anything. I know you're not that bright, Yongqin, but come on."

Ten chose to say quiet again. He had learnt that it was always better than answering back. 

"You'll just have to get into contact with him some other way."

"What?" Ten's eyes widened slightly.

"You don't seriously think I'm going to let you pass up a chance to make me this much money, do you?"

Ten really didn't want to see Jaehyun again. Not after last time. There was no way anyone was that nice. Not to someone like him. Why would they be? Jaehyun must have some kind of hidden agenda. And what if he told Hansol what had really happened? He would literally kill him. 

Then again, maybe it would finally put an end to all of this. 

"You're seeing him again and that's that. I don't care how you do it, but you're getting a shitload more money out of him. Okay?"

Ten nodded softly. It's not like he had much choice here, did he? 

"Here's your cut." Hansol handed him a few twenty pound notes. To be fair, it was a lot more than he usually got. Hansol took 80% of everything he made, leaving him with barely enough to survive. "Bring me more cheques like that home and I might even consider giving you a bonus."

Ten mumbled a thanks, taking one last drag of his cigarette before stubbing it out in the ashtray on Hansol's bedside table. 

"Plus, you might finally be able to start paying off your debts if you have a regular that pays so much. Even you're not stupid enough to pass up on that."

Ten's ears pricked up at that. His debts? He barely made enough to keep Hansol happy, never mind begin to pay off what he owed his pimp. He had almost totally forgotten about the amount that was hanging over his head. He'd completely given up any hope of ever paying it off, his interest increasing every month. He felt like he was destined to belong to Hansol forever. 

But maybe... maybe he could use Jaehyun to help him out. If he was willing to pay that much just to 'talk' imagine what he'd pay for anything else. He mustn't exactly be short on money if he was dishing out cheques like that to any old hooker. 

He had to find a way to get Jaehyun back. Not just because Hansol told him he had to - but because this could seriously help him in the long run. 

This could be the answer to all of his problems. 

"Can I go home now?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever." Hansol waved his hand, invested in something else on his phone. He really couldn't care less what Ten did once he was done with him. 

Ten gathered his clothes back together, wincing at the pain in his lower back. Walking home was going to be fun. He couldn't even afford to get the tube if he was hoping to pay his rent this month. 

He slipped out of Hansol's place, shivering as the cold reacted with the thin layer of sweat that clung to his body. He didn't want to risk asking for a shower before he left. Hansol always said he wasn't deserving of anything like that. 

He made his way home, heading in the direction of a McDonald's on the way. He was starving and figured he could spare a couple of pounds to buy himself an entire meal since he'd been paid more than usual. 

Maybe... he could always make that much, if only he could just track Jaehyun down somehow. London was a big city; he had no idea where he was even meant to start. 

But he had to try. 

This could be his ticket out of this life. Or, at least out of Hansol's clutches. He wasn't sure he'd be able to do anything else. Getting on his knees and sucking dick was all he really knew. 

But he might be able to do that somewhere else. For someone else. There had to be nicer pimps than Hansol out there. Surely. 

He had to find Jaehyun Jung again. 

This was his only hope. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are always greatly appreciated!! pls let me know what u thought ♡  
> feel free to follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/lowkeyamen) or send me any questions etc on [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/lowkeyamen)  
> thank u for reading!


	2. hook, line and sinker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 2! just a lil one but it's gonna set everything up for the next chunk of the plot 😛 nothing too heavy and even a splash of jaeyong fluff!!! pls enjoy 💖

"Taeyong, you need to eat something." Jaehyun sighed. He had taken to meeting his boyfriend during his lunch hour at university to make sure the elder was actually eating and not just holing himself up in the library or something. 

"I'm not hungry. Had a cigarette like ten minutes ago." 

Jaehyun sighed as Taeyong scribbled something down in his notebook. He only had a few months of university left, and then he'd be done. Finally. He was finally going to graduate. He could get a proper job and finally feel like he was actually contributing something to their household. He hated that Jaehyun and Jungwoo were the only ones making some kind of living. Sure, he had this shitty zero hour contract job, but he managed to get shifts so infrequently it wasn't even worth it. 

"Well, I was gonna go for fried chicken, but-"

Taeyong's ears perked up at that a little. He did love fried chicken. And it reminded him of his and Jaehyun's first... date type thing. Well, they went to KFC the day they confessed to one another but it was actually kind of cute, okay?

"-if you don't want anything then I guess you can just sit and watch, because you know I'm busy tonight and I'll miss you if I don't get to spend enough time with you during the d-"

"Okay, fine!" Taeyong shut his notebook, sticking it back into his bag. "I'll go get chicken with you, just shut up."

Jaehyun practically squeaked in excitement, proud of himself for getting one up on his very stubborn boyfriend. 

"Come on then, Angel."

Taeyong groaned as Jaehyun took him by the hand, phone in hand as he tried to google map where the closest chicken place was to Taeyong's campus. There had to be one somewhere, right? 

Jaehyun was far too absorbed in both his phone and his boyfriend to even realise that someone was watching him. That in fact, someone had been watching him from the minute he and Taeyong sat down at their usual spot in the middle of the quad at Taeyong's university. 

Far, far too distracted to realise that that person was Yongqin. Ten. That Ten had found him online. It wasn't hard, really. With Jaehyun being a model and all, his name was easily searchable and all of his social media profiles were his full name. He had to get as much exposure as possible, right? 

Ten had been observing him for a little while, trying to figure out a way to get in, a way to accidentally meet Jaehyun again. That's when he picked up on how many pictures he posted around the university, and that seemed like the perfect rouse. He could totally pretend to be in university, right? Like... he hadn't even graduated high school, but surely it couldn't be that hard. The general public were just allowed to pass through the campus, so... he wouldn't have any trouble getting in. It was perfect. 

Only, he had no idea what Jaehyun studied. Had no idea where all of these pictures were taken. Or who they were taken with. 

Ten had spent almost a week wandering around the campus, hoping to catch a glimpse of him, hoping to 'bump into' him. 

And he finally had. He'd found the spot where most of Jaehyun's pictures seemed to be; a pretty nondescript bench near a tree. He was genuinely surprised at himself for even being able to find it. Maybe his detective skills were better than he first thought. 

And that guy was there too - the one with the platinum blonde hair that always seemed to be in Jaehyun's pictures, in his Instagram stories. Ten hadn't really cared who this guy was, not until he saw the two of them walking off together hand in hand. 

Jaehyun had a boyfriend? He had a boyfriend and he wanted to 'spend time' with a prostitute? He wanted to pay to spend time with a prostitute? Wanted to date him? 

Okay, now Ten definitely didn't feel bad about approaching Jaehyun, about potentially making a fortune off of him. He knew the model was too good to be true. Jaehyun was nowhere near as nice as he was pretending to be. 

Even more perfect. He was going to make a shit load of money, hopefully get Hansol off of his back and maybe even begin to pay off his debts. 

He just hoped to god this Jaehyun wasn't way more sinister than he first seemed. 

  
✧ ✦ ✧

Jaehyun pouted as Taeyong waved him goodbye, his fingers already felt empty, no longer intertwined with those of his boyfriends. He hated days when he didn't have any shoots booked. When he essentially had nothing to do other than the occasional meeting with his agent. 

He was beginning to wonder whether he had taken the wrong path. Whether maybe he should have went to university instead of trying to become a well-known model in an already saturated market. Sure, he loved it, but maybe he just wasn't cut out for it. He wasn't making anywhere near as much as he'd like to be. Last month had seen a surge in bookings for him, but... this month not so much. He hated having to rely on Jungwoo's wage to get them through the month. He had begun thinking about getting another job, something flexible until work picked back up. 

But he hoped it really wouldn't come to that. He absolutely loved modelling. The flashing lights. The runways. It was what he wanted to do with his life. _All_ he wanted to do with his life. 

But maybe he was just kidding himself. 

He turned to leave. He had a bunch of phone calls to make when he got home and-

"Hey! Watch where you're going!"

"Oh my god, I'm so-" Stupid clumsy Jaehyun, always walking into shit. Jaehyun's eyes widened as the small, hooded figure that collided with his chest stepped back. "Yongqin?"

"Wh- Oh...Hey."

Jaehyun couldn't miss the way Yongqin sort of shrunk in on himself. He probably wasn't used to running into people he met at work in broad daylight. 

"How are you? Do you go here?"

"Uh, yeah I do. Do you?"

"No, my... my friend does."

 _Friend?_ Ten suppressed a scoff. Why was Jaehyun lying to him? That blonde guy was quite obviously his boyfriend. 

"Oh, okay. Cool."

There was a kind of awkward silence between the two of them. Jaehyun having no idea what to say next. 

"Look, I'm really sorry for the other week, I didn't mean to scare you."

Ten averted his eyes, opting to stare at the ground instead. He had to keep up the freaked out act if he wanted to win Jaehyun back, he couldn't just suddenly be interested. That would look suspicious. 

Act. Something else he suppressed a scoff at. He was always scared these days. 

"I really did just want to talk and get to know you better, but I guess I just totally freaked you out, huh?"

"Y-Yeah, I guess so." Ten sighed. He had to do this, didn't he? "I'm sorry for kicking you out, okay? I'm just... not used to people being so nice to me."

Jaehyun's heart dropped at that. He didn't even do anything that nice. He was just trying to be decent. Trying to treat Yongqin like he was human. 

"I should have just let you stay, my night would have probably been way better." Ten smiled. That was actually true. The rest of his night hadn't gone great.

"W-Why? What happened?"

Tens eyes widened a little. He hadn't expected Jaehyun to ask that. And there was no way he was about to tell him. 

"You don't wanna know." Jaehyun felt his blood run cold as Yongqin threw him a sheepish smile. "But... thank you for leaving the cheque. You really didn't have to do that."

"I felt like I did." Jaehyun shrugged. Honestly, he was regretting it a little. Money has been a bit on the tight side for them lately. But he couldn't cope with the idea of Yongqin earning so little for his... services. "When you told me what you charge, I- Yeah..."

Ten feigned a smile as Jaehyun trailed off. He really wasn't used to talking about his job like this. To opening up to people, even if this was just the tip of the iceberg. It made him a little uncomfortable. But he had to try and seem like he was open to... talking, if that was what Jaehyun wanted to pay him for. 

"Yeah, well," Ten shrugged, "I'm a broke student, not a lot I can do about it."

Ten had resigned himself to this life a long time ago. And he wasn't even a fucking student. Just plain broke. 

Jaehyun simply hummed, having no idea what to say. This all sounded far too familiar for his liking, and he knew from experience that Yongqin must be mixed up in something much darker. No student sold themselves for so little just to pay their rent, surely. 

Maybe it was drugs. That usually seemed to be the case. At least that's what had cropped up in his pay, anyway.

"Look, I'm gonna have to go." Ten nodded his head in the direction he was heading before 'coincidently bumping into' Jaehyun. "I need to get a book from the library and-"

"Isn't the library that way?" Jaehyun pointed in the opposite direction. He had been there with Taeyong before and he could have sworn it was across the other end of the campus. 

"Uh- It-" fuck. Of course he couldn't just pretend to be a university student. Hansol was always pointing out how stupid he was, and he was totally right. "I'm meeting up with a friend first... then we're gonna go together."

Nice save, Ten. He was pretty good at this lying thing. Though, that wasn't much of a shock to him. He lied to himself pretty much every day. 

"Oh, okay well..." Jaehyun shifted from foot to foot. He wasn't sure if he should even ask, but... maybe it was worth a shot. "I know I totally freaked you out at work, but could I get your number or something? I really would like to get to know you better."

"I-" Ten hesitated. Well, that took absolutely no effort at all. Was Jaehyun really that into him? What the hell was his motive? God, what was he getting himself into here? "I don't really give my number out to people I don't know, but-" Ten fiddled with the sleeves of his hoodie, "I promise I won't kick you out if you came to visit me at work." 

Jaehyun flushed as Yongqin giggled softly. He- He really wanted them to spend time together? 

"Maybe... we could get to know each other there. I won't jump on you again I promise." Ten held his hands up. Honestly, his ass could do with the break. 

"Really? You'd be okay with that?"

Ten nodded. So long as Jaehyun was paying he'd be more than happy with that. 

"I might... even be okay with you taking me on a date sometime."

Jaehyun's eyes lit up at that. Oh god! He wondered what had made Yongqin change his mind. Maybe he just felt bad after the way he acted, maybe he realised that Jaehyun wasn't like everyone else, maybe it was the cheque he left behind. Honestly he didn't care. He just wanted to get to know Yongqin better. He wanted him in his life for some reason. 

He felt like... like he really liked the dancer for some reason, he couldn't explain it he just felt kind of drawn to him. Kind of like he had been with Jungwoo, but more intense. He didn't really know anything about Yongqin, yet, he couldn't stop thinking about him. 

"T-That would be great."

Ten beamed. Genuinely. His plan was actually working. He was going to have Jaehyun under his thumb and hopefully finally make some decent money. This could be his way out. 

"Okay, then I'll see you at work sometime." Ten wanted to be in control of the situation. He wanted to be in a place where he felt safe. Well, that was a gross exaggeration. He very rarely felt safe there, but... surely it was better than going out into the streets of London. Jaehyun could lure him into some dark, dingy alley or something. This was the only option he really had. "Bye, Jaehyun."

And with that Yongqin was gone, presumably off to find his friend before heading to the library. Jaehyun wondered what kind of book Yongqin was looking for. What he studied. Hopefully those were things he'd get to learn about in the future. On their little dates. Little strip club dates. It was going to be a weird setting but... Jaehyun could understand why Yongqin would want to meet there. He couldn't exactly pull him away from his work. Not yet, anyway. Maybe one day Yongqin would trust him enough to go on a proper date. 

Jaehyun plugged his headphones in as he made his way to the tube station, unable to stop himself from smiling. He had never believed in love at first sight, he always thought that it was kind of shallow, but... maybe it really did exist. 

Maybe he was already in love with Yongqin. 

✧ ✦ ✧

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, Peaches. What's up?" 

Jaehyun slid the balcony door shut behind him, joining Taeyong on the rickety wooden bench they had out there. He was genuinely surprised it could hold both of their body weights. 

"You're gonna be like 'oh my god, what's wrong with him', but... I may have a crush on someone else."

Taeyong scoffed, flicking excess ash off the end of his cigarette. He had been waiting for this, honestly. After everything that happened with Taeil, he had been waiting for Jaehyun to fall for someone again. 

"What's his name?"

"Yongqin. He goes to your university actually."

"Oh? What does he study?"

"Uh... I'm not actually sure." Jaehyun twisted his nose. He really wished Yongqin had given him his phone number so he could at least find something out about him. He had tried searching for him on social media too, but had come up with absolutely nothing. The man was a mystery. "But he's really pretty."

Taeyong laughed softly. Jaehyun was so damn cute. Such a sickly sweet romantic it almost made his teeth ache. 

"And you want to go on a date with him so you can get to know him better?"

"Something like that…" Jaehyun felt his cheeks heat up. Taeyong could read him like a book. "Would that bother you?"

"You know it wouldn't, baby. I just worry about how attached you get to people."

Jaehyun sighed out a 'yeah'. That was a bad habit of his. He couldn't help it, though. If he liked someone then he really liked them. 

"It's not gonna be the same as with Taeil. I'm not as naïve as I was back then."

"As long as you're careful. I don't want you getting hurt again."

Jaehyun smiled weakly as Taeyong intertwined their fingers. He still hated thinking about Taeil, about what he had done to them. But he was determined not to let anything like that happen to him again. He wasn't going to let his kind nature be taken advantage of again. 

"So, is that a yes?"

"I'm not your Mum, Jae; you don't need my permiss-"

"Cause I kinda wanted to go see him at work tonight and-"

"At work? Where does he work?" Seemed like a weird place for a first date. Surely you wouldn't want to be in the middle of a shift so you could fully focus on your date. 

"Uh… remember that stripper I told you about?"

"Yeah…" Jaehyun had told Taeyong exactly what he had talked to Jungwoo about as soon as he got home that morning. The three of them didn't keep anything from one another. "Oh! You're going back to that strip club?"

"Yeah, I really like him, Tae."

"And are you paying for this date?"

"I mean, I'm paying for his time. I can't expect him to take a few hours out of his day just for me."

Taeyong quirked an eyebrow. Jaehyun said this wasn't going to be anything like that happened with Taeil, but… He wasn't convinced. 

Jaehyun tended to get tunnel vision when it came to someone he liked. It was like he had blinkers on and could only see the good in them. He struggled to see the bad in anyone, really. 

But that worried Taeyong. Jaehyun had been taken advantage of before, and he wasn't about to let that happen again. 

"Are you sure this is a good idea? Is he not just using you?"

"I-I don't think so, and this isn't going to be forever, it's just until he trusts me a little more. He seems really scared, Taeyong. I don't want him to be."

Taeyong sighed. He swore Jaehyun's heart was too big for its own good sometimes. He wanted to give the people he loved everything he had. He wanted to save everyone. But Taeyong knew that wasn't possible, and while he would like to say money wasn't important... it was. They had bills to pay. Bills they were struggling to pay. He knew Jaehyun had a few modelling jobs coming up in the next few weeks, but he was worried about his boyfriend blowing so much money on a stripper that might just be using him. 

"Can you please just be careful? I don't want you going through that again."

Jaehyun nodded. He knew better now, he really did. But there was just something about Yongqin, he couldn't let him go and he wasn't quite sure why, but he wanted to find out. 

"I'm just trying to look out for you, Peaches."

"I know you are." Jaehyun had looked after Taeyong so much in the past that he felt like it was his turn now. He would do absolutely anything to protect either of his boyfriends. "I love you, Lee Taeyong."

Taeyong hummed as Jaehyun's lips brushed up against his own, eyes fluttering shut. He wasn't sure he'd ever get sick of those kisses. 

"I love you too, Jung Yoonoh."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are always greatly appreciated!! pls let me know what u thought ♡  
> feel free to follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/lowkeyamen) or send me any questions etc on [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/lowkeyamen)  
> thank u for reading!


	3. nap time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm back! it's been a little while but here we are with chapter 3! how is jaehyun and ten's relationship gonna begin to evolve 😛
> 
> TW mentions of sexual abuse

Jaehyun scuffed his shoes against worn carpet. He hadn't really picked up on how beaten this place seemed last time he was here, but he had been waiting for Yongqin for well over fifteen minutes now and he didn't really have much else to occupy his time with. 

He was starting to wonder if maybe Taeyong was right, if this was just some money making scheme because he had been told that Yongqin had an hourly rate now, and it was much higher than he had expected considering how much the elder had told him he charged for full blown sex. Or maybe he was just beginning to value himself more. Jaehyun really hoped it was the latter. 

"Hey."

He turned as the door pushed open, as Yongqin appeared from behind it in what Jaehyun could only assume was his usual get up; a tight fitting glittery tank top and a pair of shorts so tiny Jaehyun had no idea how he managed to squeeze everything in. 

"Sorry I'm late, I wanted to shower before I came and saw you." A tiny white lie, he was being lectured by Hansol about how to make as much money as possible out of this poor sap. "Didn't want to be smelling of other men on our little date, or whatever."

Jaehyun's stomach dropped. He really hated the idea of Yongqin being used like that. Hated how he was so blasé about the whole thing, like it didn't even matter. 

"It's okay, you're worth the wait."

Ten suppressed a scoff. How fucking cheesy. But Hansol had told him to be on his best behaviour tonight. No sarcasm, no back answering, and he was to do whatever Jaehyun asked of him. He had to make sure Jaehyun would keep coming back to see him. 

"You're cute." Ten smiled softly, noticing the way the tips of Jaehyun's ears burned red even in the dim lighting of the room. "What do you want to do tonight, then? Since you have me for so long."

Have me. That sounded so weird. Like Jaehyun owned him. That was the last thing he wanted. 

"Like I said, I just wanna get to know you better." 

"So, what do you want to know?" That actually worried Ten a little. He didn't like people prying into his life. He'd just have to lie - and try to keep up with those lies. 

"What are you studying?"

"Studying?" Ten cocked his head. What was- Oh. Fuck. He was already getting mixed up in his own lies. "Oh, um-" he glanced around the room for some kind of inspiration. Art? Like, he could kind of draw but he didn't actually know anything about it. Interior design? What the fuck? Jesus. What did he know about? What could he bluff his way through? 

Of course. 

"Dance." He smiled, hoping Jaehyun wouldn't notice his hesitation. "I want to be a choreographer."

That actually wasn't a lie. Ten loved dancing, but the closest he was ever going to get to doing it properly was swinging around a pole in barely nothing. 

"Oh! That's so cool. I already know you're a pretty amazing dancer, so..."

Ten uttered out a small 'thanks'. That wasn't something he often got complimented on. How hot he looked on stage, sure. How flexible he was and that guys couldn't stop thinking about all of the positions he'd be able to contort himself into, definitely. But not on the fact he could actually dance. 

"How about you?"

"I don't study anything." Jaehyun shrugged. He knew that it was considered the done thing to go to university now, but it just wasn't for him. He didn't like studying. "I'm a model. Or, at least, I'm trying to be."

Tens eyes widened, pretending he totally didn't know that already. 

"That sounds fun! You're totally hot enough to be a model." Ten smirked, tongue poking out to wet his lips. Something else that wasn't a lie. "I bet you get to go to all sorts of exciting places."

"Sort of." Jaehyun twisted his nose. Modelling wasn't anywhere near as glamorous as everyone thought. The hours were long and infrequent; he could go from working three twenty-hour days in a row to nothing for a couple of weeks. It was unpredictable, and the industry was big, but he was slowly climbing his way up the social ladder, determined to make a name for himself. "I've been to a couple of places like Germany and France, but… I'm not really that popular. Yet, anyway. I want to be."

"Oh." Ten had expected Jaehyun to be kind of big, considering how much he had paid last time. Maybe all models earned a shit load. Then again, who didn't earn more than he did? "Well, I'm sure you'll get there. Like I said, you're crazy hot."

Jaehyun felt himself flush even further. God. He liked Yongqin so fucking much. He was absolutely stunning and his smile was to die for. He was surprisingly sweet too, especially compared to last time where he had snapped at Jaehyun for almost nothing. 

But he could still see that sadness behind Yongqin's eyes. That sense of fear. It made him wonder whether this was all an act. Whether Taeyong was right and Yongqin was just being nice to him to get his money. 

But… he sort of didn't care. Because he wanted more. He wanted to get to know him better and for Yongqin to maybe even fall for him one day. Was that stupid? Because it sounded kind of stupid in his head. He needed to slow down. This was the first proper conversation they'd had. 

"Can I see some of your pictures?" Ten asked, head tilted. He felt like keeping the topic on Jaehyun would play in his favour. That way he wouldn't have to give away too much information about himself. "Like, from photo shoots and stuff?"

"Sure!" Jaehyun beamed. He absolutely loved talking about his job and showing off the designers and photographers he has worked with so far, but he never wanted to come off as shallow or self-centred, so he was glad that Yongqin had actually asked. 

He took his phone out of his pocket, breath hitching as the dancer shuffled closer, close enough so that his bare arm rubbed up against Jaehyun. He knew that he had touched Yongqin in… a much more appropriate way last time (against his will), but this felt a lot more intimate. He was really hoping that Yongqin was starting to trust him. 

"Who are they?"

Jaehyun had been so absorbed in the pathetic sliver of skinship that he hadn't even realised he'd unlocked his phone, revealing his home screen to Yongqin. Oh. 

He stared at the picture on his background, unable to stop his lips from tugging up at the corners. Jungwoo had his ridiculously long arms wrapped around Taeyong, the elder's eyes screwed shut, jaw dropped mid laugh as Jungwoo pressed a sloppy kiss to his cheek. They were so fucking perfect. 

But Yongqin didn't even know he had a boyfriend, nevermind two. He had described Taeyong as 'just a friend' the other day when Yongqin had ran into him at the university. 

But he didn't want to lie. Not if he was hoping for something more to come of this. 

"That's Taeyong and Jungwoo. They… are my boyfriends."

Tens jaw tensed up. He knew that blonde guy was Jaehyun's boyfriend! Why the hell had Jaehyun lied to him? He was just some hooker, what was even the point? If only Jaehyun knew how many married men came to him for his services. 

Wait. They? _They're_ his boyfriends? 

Plural?

"Y-You have two?"

"Yeah. We believe that love is bigger than just one person. All three of us are together. We just… work, you know?"

Ten wasn't quite sure what to say to that. He didn't know. He'd never been in love. Didn't really understand it. Wasn't even sure he believed in it. 

He had never even been in a relationship. Why would anyone bother when they could get what they wanted out of him for next to nothing? What was the point in paying for dates and romantic gifts and having to spend time with someone when you could just fuck them and be done with it? 

Romance and dating were things he had never really understood. 

But… hadn't Jaehyun said he wanted to date him? Why would he if he already had not one, but two boyfriends at home. His heart rate was beginning to rise. What the fuck did Jaehyun want with him? This didn't make any sense. 

"So… uh- If you already have two boyfriends then," Ten tried his hardest to keep his voice steady, "why are you here?"

"Because I like you, Yongqin." Jaehyun turned, looking him dead in the eye. "I want us to get to know each other better so that, maybe, one day, if you want… we could be together too."

Tens eyebrows furrowed. That was insane. 

Jaehyun was clearly insane.

"I don't really do… boyfriends. Like, I've never-"

"That's okay." Jaehyun smiled softly, that stupid little dimple Ten couldn't help but focus on digging into his cheek. "I know you're still kind of freaked out by me, but I want to prove to you that I am a good guy, and that I do just really like you. And… maybe one day you'll change your mind. Maybe I'll be able to woo you."

Ten swallowed as Jaehyun winked. He- He really meant all of that, didn't he? Ten had been looking for any sign that Jaehyun was lying, any flicker in his eyes, any split second sinister smirk, but… nothing. Jaehyun genuinely did like him. Jaehyun wanted to be involved with him… romantically. 

Ten honestly wasn't sure which was worse. This made him feel a little nauseous. 

But… he had to try and play along. He had to get Jaehyun to come back and keep spending money on him. 

So he smiled, shyly, fingertips brushing against Jaehyun's. 

"Maybe I will."

✧ ✦ ✧

Jaehyun continued to visit Ten at work, usually just once a week, but sometimes more. And Ten actually started to look forward to their little sessions (Jaehyun may refer to them as dates but there was no way in hell Ten was going to do the same).

But it was a nice break for him. It gave him a rest from the miserable existence that was his life. From being used day in, day out. From praying for it to be over the second it began. From trying his hardest to focus on anything other than the trauma he was currently going through. Anything. 

And weirdly enough that thing was starting to become Jaehyun. 

That was all he could think of during his last appointment before the model was coming to see him. Only a few more minutes and this would all be over and he'd get to sit around and do nothing with Jaehyun. 

It was quickly becoming the highlight of his week. 

"Qinnie!"

Ten couldn't help but smile at the nickname Jaehyun had made up for him as he entered the room. He felt like he wasn't even faking it anymore. Jaehyun genuinely made him kind of happy. 

"Hey, how are you?" Ten settled down on the chaise lounge. He felt much better after getting changed. He didn't bother dressing up for Jaehyun anymore, knowing the younger didn't like seeing him like that anyway. He had slipped into a pair of sweatpants and a slightly oversized t-shirt. So much more comfortable than a tiny pair of booty shorts. 

"I'm good." Jaehyun yawned, covering his mouth with the back of his hand. "Sorry. Really tired, but good. How about you?" 

"Same." Ten shrugged. He hadn't been sleeping much lately. He was hoping that Hansol would give him a bit of a break now he was bringing in so much money, but no. Of course not. He was the only person working here that Hansol literally owned, which meant he got to use Ten however he pleased. That wasn't going to change anytime soon. 

"I have… a bit of a weird request tonight." Tens eyes widened. Oh, here we go. He knew it was coming. That Jaehyun had been lulling him into a false sense of security before springing something absolutely awful on him. "And you can say no, obviously, I just…"

Jaehyun took a deep sigh. He could almost guarantee Yongqin had never heard this one before. 

"Could we, like, take a nap?"

Ten blanched. A nap? Really? Every time he thought Jaehyun was going to say something disgustingly sinister, he just kept on being adorable. 

"A nap? Here?"

"Yeah, there's a bed, isn't there? I'm just really tired. I've been working non-stop and-" Jaehyun groaned. He was so thankful for all of the opportunities he'd been getting over the past few weeks, and that he had not only made enough money to keep a roof over his and his boyfriends head and kept them well fed, but, he'd actually been able to start saving again. Their new house fund was finally starting to grow. "I really wanted to come see you, but I'm absolutely shattered. I dunno how long I can stay awake."

Ten almost felt for him. The bags under Jaehyun's eyes were more than noticeable, and he couldn't stop yawning, but… he just wasn't sure. He wasn't ready to fully let his guard down by falling asleep next to someone. Imagine the things Jaehyun could do to him while he was unconscious. 

But… he had to keep Jaehyun happy, right? That was his job. 

"If that's what you want, baby." He smiled softly, standing to lead Jaehyun over to the bed. Just as well he had changed the covers before the model got here. That wasn't standard procedure, hygiene wasn't on the top of Hansol a list of priorities, but it was something they had to do at the end of each night. Only, this time Ten had done it between his last client and Jaehyun, assuming the he didn't want to sleep with him. He still hadn't even tried to make a move. 

He settled himself down on the bed, shuffling over to give Jaehyun enough room to lie down next to him. He wasn't quite sure what to do here. He didn't really… nap with people. 

"Can I, uh, cuddle you?"

"Y-You want to- Sure." Ten furrowed his eyebrows a little. Cuddling wasn't usually what he was asked to do on this bed, but he'd take it. 

He lay down, allowing Jaehyun to snuggle into him, head resting on the elder's chest, arms wrapped around his tiny frame to pull him in closer. 

"You're freezing." Jaehyun mumbled, pulling the quilt over the two of them, nuzzling in further into Yongqin's chest. This was perfect. It may not be in the nicest of places, he would much rather be snuggling up with Yongqin in the comfort of his own bed, but this would have to do for now. He was so tired he could fall asleep just about anywhere. "Let me warm you up."

Ten couldn't help but giggle softly. Jaehyun was cute. Really cute. He had never done anything to make him feel too uncomfortable. He had never touched Ten against his will or anything, but he was still a little unsure of his intentions. This all felt a little too good to be true. 

And he was terrified of falling asleep next to him, just in case something happened. 

So he'd just let Jaehyun nap, let him cuddle into him and try his best to stay awake. 

"I have a bit of bad news, though." Jaehyun spoke against Yongqin's chest, voice laced with sleep. "I need to go to Amsterdam next week so I won't be able to come see you."

"Oh." Ten's heart dropped a little. No Jaehyun next week? Nothing to look forward to? That… fucking sucked. But he kind of didn't want Jaehyun to know that. Didn't want to let on how much he was enjoying their little dates. 

"You going to see other prostitutes than me?" Ten gasped in mock horror, hand coming up to rest on his sternum. 

"Of course not! I would never." Jaehyun whined. Is that really what Yongqin thought of him? That he was into hookers? "I have a shoot over there and it's gonna be pretty big for my career if all goes well."

"Then I guess I'll allow it." 

Jaehyun snorted into Yongqin's chest. He was so happy the elder was beginning to warm up to him, that he didn't seem as scared. Though… he could feel his heart rate against his cheek and it was high. Jaehyun really hoped that it wasn't due to fear. That maybe it was because they were so close. That maybe, just maybe, he was beginning to reciprocate Jaehyun's feelings. 

"I'll come see you the week after though, and maybe," Jaehyun took a deep breath, hoping he wasn't pushing too hard here, "maybe you'll let me take you on a proper date."

Tens breath froze in his lungs. A proper date? Like, out in public? He wasn't too sure about that. The idea of Jaehyun taking him somewhere unknown kind of scared him. 

Plus, he wasn't sure what Hansol would say. They didn't do escorting because he liked to keep an eye on them all. Keep them in this building so he was completely in control of what his whores were up to. 

"Maybe… We'll see when you get back." He didn't want to get Jaehyun's hopes up but he also didn't want to outright say no either. He had to keep him happy for a few more hours after all, right? "Just go to sleep for now."

"Okay." Jaehyun yawned. He wasn't going to say no to that. His schedule had been so hectic lately he had been running on nothing but energy drinks and a couple hours of sleep a night. Lying here with Yongqin was exactly what he needed right now. It was the closest to proper intimacy the two of them had had. "Night night."

Ten sighed as Jaehyun fell asleep on him almost instantly, passing out as soon as he shut his eyes. 

This was weird. Not just the fact this kid was asking to fall asleep next to him - a prostitute. Not just the fact he had two boyfriends back home that he could easily snuggle up between. 

But the fact… Ten actually kind of liked it. No one had ever held him like this before. Like they didn't want to let him go - and not because they wanted to pin him down and have their way with him against his will. But because they liked spending time with him, they wanted to wake up beside him. 

Love wasn't anything Ten had experienced before. Ever. Not from his parents and certainly not from Hansol. It was so alien to him but… he could see why people craved it so badly. 

He let his eyes fall shut, just for a second. Let himself pretend that this was real - just for a second, that he wasn't playing Jaehyun because he had money. That he didn't have this weird twisting sensation in his oesophagus whenever he thought about what he was doing. What was that, anyway? Guilt? He wasn't sure he'd ever felt guilt before, and he didn't like it. 

But he did feel kind of bad, truthfully. He was leading Jaehyun on, taking his hard earned cash when he knew fine well he and his boyfriends were trying to save for a bigger place, when he knew that up until recently they'd been struggling to make ends meet. 

But… he was struggling too. Really struggling. He barely made anything once Hansol got his cut, and this was destined to be his life forever because there was no way he'd be able to pay off his debts unless he did something drastic. 

And Jaehyun was that something drastic. The amount the younger was paying just to spend time with him was crazy, but it was beginning to help. Hansol had already started taking chunks off of the interest he owed. 

He really couldn't help but feel awful though. He still had his reservations but Jaehyun seemed… genuine. Like he actually cared about Ten. Like he really wanted to be with him. 

Ten screwed his eyes shut tighter as he tried to will all of those thoughts away, because right now, he just wanted to try and relax. He had the opportunity to avoid doing any actual work and just lie here with Jaehyun while still getting paid and he didn't want to spend those couple of hours hating himself even more than he usually did on any given day. 

So he let himself nuzzle into sandy blonde hair. Let sleep overtake him as his aching muscles melted into the worn mattress. 

"Night, Jaehyun."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are always greatly appreciated!! pls let me know what u thought ♡  
> feel free to follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/lowkeyamen) or send me any questions etc on [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/lowkeyamen)  
> thank u for reading!


	4. first date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're back with another chapter 💖 how are things gonna progress with jaehyun and ten?? things are starting to get real!
> 
> TW for this chapter:  
> mentions of abuse  
> mentions of past suicide attempts

"Jaehyunnie!" Jungwoo peeked his head around the corner into the hallway as the front door clicked shut. Jaehyun had only been gone a week but god had he missed him. Taeyong had a load of deadlines coming up, which meant Jungwoo had to entertain himself for the most part. He didn't like being on his own. "How was Amsterdam? Did you have any of those weird brownies? Did you go to the red light district? Did you bring me home any cheese?"

Jaehyun chuckled at Jungwoo's standard 21 questions as soon as he walked in the door. It was cute how much his boyfriend had missed him. 

"Good. No. Kind of. And yes." Jaehyun unzipped his suitcase, pulling out a hefty wedge of sheep's milk Gouda he'd picked up at the airport. It had actually been for Taeyong, but...Jungwoo had beaten him to it. 

"Kind of?" Jungwoo questioned, making his way back into their open plan living room/kitchen, wheeling Jaehyun's suitcase behind him. "Hey, Yonggie, wake up."

Taeyong had passed out on the sofa when he came in at whatever ridiculous hour of the morning. His study sessions were beginning to get out of control but he was so close to the final hurdle he couldn't give up now. Jungwoo had opted for wrapping him up in a blanket instead of trying to take him to bed. He didn't want to risk waking him up when Taeyong was so knackered. 

"Jae?" He squinted, sitting up slightly as the model came and sat next to him. Was it Thursday already? "How was Amsterdam?"

"It was good." Jaehyun sighed, fingers carding through Taeyong's hair. He looked a mess, honestly. His skin was so pale, cheeks way more gaunt than they had been even a week ago and the bags under his eyes looked so heavy he could tell Taeyong hadn't slept properly in days. He hated seeing him like this, and was terrified it would result in him falling back into old habits. "You haven't been eating properly, have you?"

"I have!" Taeyong protested, albeit, weakly. "Jungwoo's been cooking for me."

"I was sick of him grabbing a burger every night on his way home from uni so I've been making him little packed lunches. Right, Angel?" Taeyong nodded softly, cheeks flushing as Jungwoo settled down behind him, arms sneaking around the elder's waist. "It's sleeping he hasn't been doing."

Taeyong whispered out a 'snitch' as Jungwoo nuzzled into his neck. He knew the two of them were just trying to look out for him, but… this was important. His degree was important. He couldn't risk having to resit his final year. He had already dropped out once and there was no way he could cope with feeling like that much of a failure again. 

"Please just be careful, Tae. I know you want to do well but your health and your work is going to suffer if you don't sleep properly."

"I know." Taeyong sighed, cheek resting against the back of their worn sofa. "I just need to do good. I don't want to let you down."

Jaehyun knew exactly where this was coming from. Taeyong's government aided funding for university had ran out after he dropped out a few years ago, meaning he had to pay for the majority of his final year himself. He had been given a small bursary by his university, but it wasn't much. 

His parents had refused to help, considering the reason he had dropped out in the first place, meaning on top of paying bills and rent, the three of them had to scrape together as much as they could for Taeyong to finish his education. 

But that only made Taeyong more scared of failing. Jaehyun and Jungwoo had invested so much time and money in helping him realise his dream, he couldn't let it be for nothing. He had to succeed. For them. 

"You could never let me down." Jaehyun settled his own head down on the back of the sofa, nose only millimetres away from Taeyong's. "You're gonna do amazing, baby, I know it. You're gonna graduate, and finish your training and you're gonna be the best teacher in the world. Okay?"

Taeyong snorted. Why was Jaehyun always so damn cheesy? It was cute though. He loved that he had someone who believed in him. 

"But you can't do that on no sleep, so I want you to try and relax, okay? I don't want you making yourself ill again."

Taeyong nodded, he promised himself he would never go down that road again. He had done a lot of stupid shit in the past, but he was over that now. His life was back on track and he had two amazing boyfriends that loved him more than anything. He was in a good place, and once he was finished with his degree it would be even better. 

But Jaehyun was right; staying up for days on end would only make things worse. He could barely concentrate when he was like this. 

"I'll try." Taeyong smiled weakly as Jaehyun's fingers brushed against sharp cheekbones. "It'll be better now you're back. I always have trouble sleeping when you're away."

Jungwoo scoffed behind him. "Why? Am I not good enough?"

"You know I like being in the middle." Taeyong whined. He was the smallest. He felt safe all curled up in between his stupidly long boyfriends. "How was Amsterdam, anyway? Bang any hookers?"

Jaehyun rolled his eyes as Jungwoo snorted behind Taeyong. Why did people keep asking him that? Did they really think he was that sort of person? 

"It was good thanks, and no, I didn't. But that does mean I have a whole weeks' worth of pent up frustration in my dick." He smirked, eyes locking on Taeyong's. "And you look like you need to relax, baby."

Taeyong chuckled lowly. He had honestly been too busy to even think about sex while Jaehyun was away, but now that he mentioned it...

"You wanna overstimulate him?" Jungwoo asked, eyes sparkling slightly. He and Taeyong didn't have much of a sexual relationship, and it wasn't just because they had Jaehyun. Even when the model was away the two of them wouldn't sleep together. There was no real reasoning behind it, they loved one another more than anything, they just never needed sex to prove that. 

But Jungwoo loved joining in whenever Jaehyun pushed Taeyong well past his limits. At first he'd just be there to soothe his eldest boyfriend, to help him through it. But now? Honestly he just kind of liked torturing Taeyong. 

Taeyong whined in Jungwoo's arms at the thought. Anyone who met his boyfriend thought he was the definition of sickly sweet. They couldn't be more wrong. Taeyong was genuinely starting to think Jungwoo was some kind of demon sent up to make his life hell. 

But, then again, that did sound pretty good. He could do with getting off. 

"Depends. Did you bring me back a present?"

"Yes. But Jungwoo stole it."

Taeyong huffed, side eyeing the cheese the younger had popped down on their coffee table. Rude. 

"Can I have his present then?"

"I mean, if you really want it." Jaehyun went back to his suitcase, handing Taeyong a tall box. 

"The fuck is- Oh god." Taeyong almost dropped it once he realised what was inside. Just about the creepiest looking doll he'd ever seen with a bunch of tulips in her hands and little wooden clogs. She had this almost demented looking smile painted on her face. Why the fuck would Jaehyun being this into their home? It was probably cursed. 

"Oh my god she's so cute!" Jungwoo squeaked, right in Taeyong's ear. "You got her for me?"

"Yeah but she's mine now. Since you took my cheese."

"Take your stupid cheese, give me my doll." Jungwoo beamed as Taeyong passed the box back to him, glad to be rid of it. Jungwoo had always had this weird obsession with creepy things. When the younger moved in with them, Taeyong made sure that none of Jungwoo's dolls or his collection of bird skulls went into what used to be his bedroom. They only had two, so had to share their belongings out, but there was absolutely no way Taeyong was sleeping in the same room as any of that. And now Jaehyun had bought him another terrifying doll. Wonderful. 

"What's that?" Taeyong questioned, noticing a wrapped box sticking out of Jaehyun's suitcase. More presents? He'd only been gone a week. 

"Oh, it's just a gift... for Yongqin."

"Whipped." Taeyong laughed as Jungwoo whispered behind him. 

"I'm not! I just wanted to get him something. I don't think he's ever been out of the country and he likes sweet things, so-"

"When are we going to meet this Yongqin, anyway? Shouldn't you, like, introduce your boyfriends to your new boyfriend?"

"He's not my boyfriend… yet. Maybe one day."

"Jae, don't you think you've spent enough on this guy? Do you really think he's going to fall for you? Isn't it his job to… be with guys for money?" Taeyong tried to word that as carefully as possible. He didn't actually know how far Yongqin's services went, but… he could only assume. 

"I dunno, he seemed kind of sad when I told him I couldn't go visit him last week."

"Sad-sad or I-get-a-smaller-paycheck-this-week-sad?" Jungwoo could see exactly where Taeyong was coming from. He had been there throughout the whole Taeil situation, and although it had brought him a new best friend in the form of Doyoung, it had broken his heart to watch Jaehyun go through that. He didn't want his boyfriend ending up back in the same situation. 

"I know it's your money, baby, and that you work hard for it and you can spend it however you want, we just don't want you getting hurt again."

"I-I know, I just- I really like him. I like spending time with him and- I feel like he gets a break from all the shit when I'm there, you know?"

Taeyong smiled softly. That was actually pretty sweet. He didn't know all that much about Yongqin, but from the snippets that Jaehyun had told him it didn't seem like he had the best life. 

"I just really hope he isn't playing you, Peaches." 

"Yeah... me too."

✧ ✦ ✧

Ten was beyond happy that Jaehyun was coming to see him tonight, last week had been hell. His boiler had totally broke which meant he had no hot water in his shitty east London flat and the only way he'd be able to pay for it was working around the clock. He was so tired it was a miracle he hadn't fallen off of the pole and seriously injured himself. 

Then again, he wasn't sure if would have made much of a difference. His body felt like it was currently one big bruise. 

Hansol had decided to throw one of his infamous parties. Drug dealers. Sordid businessmen. Gangsters. You name it, they were there. And guess who got to be the main attraction? 

Hansol wasn't impressed that Jaehyun hadn't paid Ten a visit last week, that he had made significantly less than usual, and figured he needed to earn his keep. Ten couldn't remember a lot from that night, he had tried his hardest to block it out with drink and drugs. At least if he was unconscious he wouldn't have any memories. 

But he had plenty of scars to show for it. Bruises all up his arms, on his thighs and ass, even on his stomach. That one hurt so much he was pretty sure he'd been punched or something. It wouldn't surprise him; he knew plenty of guys who got off on that. 

But Hansol didn't give a fuck. It made no difference to him if his whores looked like they'd been abused; he knew plenty of guys who got off on that too. That saw people like Ten as less than human, thought he deserved to be treated like that. 

Ten was just happy that he could wear clothes that actually covered his body when he was with Jaehyun, because he kind of didn't want the model to worry. Which he knew he would if he saw what state Ten was in. 

The guilt he had been feeling over what he was doing to Jaehyun had been building while the younger was away. The more Ten thought about it, the more he wished he could stop, but… Hansol would never let him. Could you imagine if he lost that amount of money? His life wouldn't even be worth living. 

Plus, he couldn't help but be selfish. He actually enjoyed spending time with Jaehyun. He liked his smile and he was just so bright and positive. Ten had never met anyone like that before. It was refreshing. Ten was a pessimist, happy people tended to piss him off, but for some reason Jaehyun didn't. Ten actually felt uplifted whenever the younger came to visit him. Jaehyun was a welcome distraction from his shitty life. 

He couldn't deny the money was great too. As guilty as he felt about taking it from Jaehyun… it helped. A lot. He could actually afford to eat now. Seven days a week. He had been able to buy himself a few new items of clothes, able to throw the threadbare ones he'd had since he was about sixteen away. And his debt was reducing. Sure, Hansol still added interest on every month, so it wasn't going down fast, but it was a start. 

And thinking that one day he might be able to get out from Hansol's clutches was the only thing that kept him going. That and he was terrified of failing another suicide attempt. He had been beaten and assaulted until he passed out the second he came out of hospital last time he had attempted to take his own life.

Ten sniffled, dabbing his eyes with the sleeve of his sweatshirt, careful not to completely ruin his makeup. What was wrong with him? He didn't cry. Emotions made you weak and he had absolutely no time to be weak. 

He had to go see Jaehyun. He... had to earn his keep. 

"Hi." Ten tried to keep his smile at bay the moment he set eyes on Jaehyun. He didn't want to look too desperate or anything, but he had really missed their little sessions while the model was away. "Have fun in Amsterdam?"

"I did." Jaehyun pulled out a box wrapped in matte gold paper with a little black bow on the top. "I got you something too."

Ten's eyebrows furrowed a little. A present? Jaehyun had really got him a present?

"Stroopwaffles?" Ten questioned as he ripped off the paper. What on earth were they?

"They're like little waffles with caramel in. If you balance them on top of a cup of boiling hot coffee the caramel, like, melts and they're so good. I remember you telling me how much you like sweet things, so… They reminded me of you when I tried them."

Ten's heart seemed to skip a beat. Things reminded Jaehyun of him? That was really… cute. Oh god. He actually really liked Ten, didn't he? He liked him and Ten was just using him for his money. 

He felt sick. 

But he had to carry on. He had no choice. 

"That's really nice, thank you."

"Can you remember what we talked about last time?"

Ten cocked his head. He didn't remember them talking much, just Jaehyun falling asleep on his chest. 

"About how I want to take you out on a proper date?"

Oh. That. 

"So, you think I could do that tonight?" Jaehyun was starting to seriously think about what Taeyong and Jungwoo had been saying about Yongqin. About whether he was just a golddigger and Jaehyun felt like he had to at least try and take him out once before he considered calling things off. 

"Uh..." Ten hadn't even tried to approach the subject with Hansol, terrified his answer would just be a backhand to the cheek or something. But… god did he want to get out of here. He honestly wasn't scared of Jaehyun being some kind of serial killer anymore. He seemed so genuine. But then, even if he was, maybe Ten wouldn't mind being dead. It had to be better than the hell he was currently living. 

"S-sure. You're paying for my time so… I have to do whatever you want, right?" Those were Hansol's rules. Nothing was out of bounds. If a customer wants to piss on you; you let them. If they want to shove their fingers down your throat so you can't scream for them to stop; you let them. If they want to take you out on some romantic date; you let them. Right? 

Jaehyun groaned. "Please don't say it like that; it makes me sound so creepy. I don't want to force you. Would you actually like to come on a date with me?"

"I-" Ten had never been on a date before. He wasn't really sure what they entailed. A movie? A fancy restaurant? He looked down at himself. Even though this sweater was one of the new things he'd just bought, he didn't exactly look the part for a nice meal. "I would, yes."

"Great!" Jaehyun beamed. Oh god, this was finally happening! He couldn't wait to see Yongqin outside of this shitty lighting. He had no doubt he was even more beautiful outside. "Can we go now?"

Ten nodded, a smile creeping onto his lips. Was he really doing this? God, he was sure Hansol would absolutely kill him when he found out, but… he kind of didn't care. He was technically doing his job and, well, he felt like he deserved it after the weeks he'd had. 

"Just let me get my stuff."

Ten made his way to the locker room, throwing his belongings in his backpack. Jaehyun had bought his time until his shift finished, so he figured he might as well take it all now instead of having to come back. 

"Where the fuck do you think you're going?" 

Ten froze. Fuck. 

"Uh… Jaehyun wants to take me out. Like, for food or something."

Hansol scoffed, leaning up against the only exit from the locker room, essentially trapping Ten. 

"Like on a date? Oh my god, he's even more pathetic than I first thought." Hansol could clearly see that Jaehyun was head over heels in love with Ten. He had honestly no idea why, but… he was more than happy to use that to his advantage. "You know that's not how this works, right? You don't just get to skip out of work. I'm not letting my best whore take the night off."

"B-But- Jaehyun has me for the rest of the night. I wouldn't be seeing anyone else anyway. He's already paid for me, Hansol."

Hansol quirked an eyebrow. Was he seriously answering back? Ten cowered as Hansol stood up straight; he was massive compared to Ten at his full height. 

"Don't fuck with me, Yongqin. I don't want you thinking you can run off into the sunset with your little boyfriend. He's money to you, nothing else. You understand me?"

Ten nodded slowly. At the end of the day, he knew that. Hansol wouldn't allow for anything other than that. 

"So go back to your room like a good little whore. Ring him to come fuck you so he's not wasting his money or leave him waiting outside. I don't care, but you are not leaving this building with him."

That's when something inside Ten snapped. He wasn't just going to let Hansol dictate his life like this. Jaehyun had paid for his time. His. And if Jaehyun wanted to take him on a date then that's what he was going to do. He knew he was being stupid, even trying to disobey Hansol's orders but... he was sick. He was so fucking sick of being treated this way and if he didn't do this now then he never would. 

Because when else would he have a fucking gorgeous model waiting outside to whisk him away from his shitty life? Even if it was just for one night. 

So he shoved his phone in his bag as adrenaline coursed through his veins. He wasn't going to be treated like this. Not tonight. 

He stormed to the doorway, as confidentially as he could despite the fact Hansol was stood right there. 

"I'm going to give my client what he wants. You told me to always do that."

"This isn't what I meant and you know it."

"I'm going, Hansol. He's waiting for me." Ten could hear his own voice shaking as he tried to squeeze past his pimp. Just as well he was only small. "You want him to come back, don't you?"

He whimpered as fingers grabbed his wrist, slamming him into the doorframe, as the back of his head made contact with rigid wood. Fuck. 

"I don't like how much time he's spending with you." Hansol growled into Ten's ear, grabbing his face with his other hand so Ten had no choice but to look at him. 

"Y-You're the one that wanted me to see him. For his money." Ten fought back, trying to squirm out of Hansol's grasp. He was sick of this bullshit. He never used to be such a pushover, he used to be feisty and head strong. He wasn't sure when that version of Ten had disappeared, but he wanted him back. "You wanted me to get him on side. That's what I've done."

Hansol hummed. That was true, actually. Ten had been earning a fair bit since Jaehyun had taken an interest in him. But still, he didn't like the idea of Jaehyun possibly taking him away; of letting Ten believe that he was actually worth something, that he could do better than the life he was currently living. 

"Just remember who it is you belong to." His teeth grazed Ten's jawline, fingernails digging into skin as he forced him into a rough kiss. "Now go make me some money like a good little slut." 

Hansol let go of Ten with a slight push, the smaller boy losing his balance slightly. He pulled his jacket tighter around himself as he practically ran out of the building, wiping away tears that threatened to fall with his sleeve. He wasn't crying. _You don't cry, Ten._ His eyes just happened to have tears in them. 

"Qin? Hey... You okay?" Jaehyun approached Yongqin; concern lacing his voice was he noticed the way the elder was curled in on himself. 

"No, yeah, I'm fine." He fidgeted slightly, avoiding Jaehyun's gaze. He couldn't even bring himself to look him in the eye. "Can we just go?"

Jaehyun nodded, knowing something wasn't right but not wanting to push it. He intertwined his fingers with Yongqin's, frowning at the way he flinched slightly at the contact, before gripping onto Jaehyun's hand harder than anyone had before. It was weird. Yongqin wasn't… ever this clingy. 

"What do you feel like eating?" Jaehyun asked after about ten minutes of walking in silence. He could practically feel Yongqin shaking beside him. 

"Hm? Oh, whatever. I don't mind. You choose."

"How about I take you for Korean barbecue then?" It was almost midnight and there wouldn't be many places open at this time, but there was a 24 hour Korean place that Jaehyun absolutely loved. 

"Is it expensive? I, uh- I don't have a lot of money." Ten shifted a little uncomfortably. What was he doing here? On a date with some rich up and coming model when he couldn't even scrape enough together to pay his electricity bill this month.

"It's a date, I'm paying."

Ten gaped slightly. Oh. Was that how dates worked? Then-

"Can we just go to, like, Burger King or something then? I don't want you spending a lot of money on me. You already do and-"

"I don't mind, Qin. I want to treat you."

Ten laughed bitterly. He hated this whole situation. He hated having to take Jaehyun's money. He hated that most of it went to Hansol. He hated that Jaehyun liked him so much. He hated himself for...well, everything. He was a liar.

"Don't, I don't deserve it."

"Of course you do." Jaehyun smiled down at him, taking Yongqin's other hand in his own. They were so tiny, so delicate. "Look, this is my time with you and if I want to treat you then I will okay?"

Ten fought back the tears. Why was he so emotional today? He didn't usually cry, like, ever. What was the point? Tears weren't going to fix anything. 

But everything was getting on top of him right now and this tiny act of compassion from Jaehyun was enough to tip him over the edge. He was a fucking horrible person. A dirty little prostitute that deserved all of the beatings and unwanted sexual encounters he got. 

"Being out of that place is enough of a treat. Please don't spend much on me tonight, Jaehyun. I don't need it. I just..." Ten took a deep breath, he couldn't believe he was actually about to say this. Not only because it was beyond selfish, but because he wasn't meant to feel these things. "I just want to spend time with you."

Jaehyun couldn't help but smile. That was all he'd wanted to hear from Yongqin. He wanted him to want to spend time together, not just because he was being paid to do so. 

"Can we just go here?" Ten nodded towards a nearby fast food restaurant. One that he knew wasn't too pricey and at least had comfortable chairs because he ate there most evenings, unable to afford much else on his way to work. He really couldn't allow Jaehyun to spend much more on him. It wasn't like he could take the cost of a fancy meal back to Hansol anyway. 

"You sure?" Jaehyun really wanted to push the boat out, to impress Yongqin on their first proper date, but... If this was what he wanted then he wasn't going to say no. 

"Positive." Ten smiled back, dragging Jaehyun over to the door, their fingers still laced together. "Come on."

Ten was, dare he say, enjoying himself. This was just...nice. They'd had a burger each, shared some fries and now Ten had a vanilla latte in his hands, allowing one of the stroopwaffle's Jaehyun had brought him from Amsterdam to melt over the top as he rambled on about how well his photoshoot had gone in Amsterdam. 

It was nice, seeing Jaehyun talk about his passion. Ten couldn't relate. He wasn't sure he'd ever cared about anything that much. 

"Anyway, I feel like I've been talking about myself all night. How are you? You seemed kind of… shaken before."

"Oh." Ten took a long drink of his latte, trying to think of an excuse. But he couldn't. He couldn't think of anything. He- He kind of just wanted to tell Jaehyun the truth. "Just my boss, he's kind of a dick."

That would do. He wasn't lying, but wasn't getting into the gory details either. Just keep it vague, Ten. 

"Ah. Did he not want you to leave with me?"

Ten shook his head. "But I told him it wasn't like I'd be making money with anyone else so… what difference did it make? He just likes to keep an eye on me, you know?"

"Sounds like he cares about you." 

Ten scoffed. As if. Hansol didn't give a shit about him; Ten was nothing more than a money making object in his eyes. 

"Not even slightly. He just likes to be in control, he can't be if I'm not there."

Jaehyun's jaw clenched. Control? That was a very strong word. 

"What do you mean, Yongqin?"

Ten chose to stare into the foam on the top of his latte instead of Jaehyun. What was he doing? Opening up? He didn't open up to anyone. Didn't let anyone in. What was the point? It's not like anyone could help him anyway. 

"Can I tell you something?"

"Anything."

"My name isn't Yongqin. It's Ten."

"...Ten? Like the number?"

Ten laughed softly. How many times has he heard that? 

"Yeah. Yongqin is my mandarin name, I use it at work cause I don't like… clients calling me Ten. Makes it easier. But I don't like you calling me that." It felt weird that Jaehyun didn't even know his real name. "Can you call me Ten from now on?"

Jaehyun gaped a little. He hadn't even thought about it but he figured that made sense, the fact Yongq- Ten wouldn't reveal his real name at work. Makes it easier, though? He didn't like the sound of that. He was beginning to wonder whether Ten was selling himself against his will. At first he had just thought maybe he did this because he enjoyed sex, which was totally fine, he had realised over time not to shame sex workers just because it wasn't something he would ever choose to do personally. 

But all of these little things were beginning to add up that made him think maybe Ten had no choice in his current profession. The 'controlling' boss was raising massive red flags for him. 

But he pushed them to the back of his mind, just for now. He would bring it up eventually, but he had to make sure Ten trusted him more, it was more than obvious the elder had problems when it came to that. 

Maybe they were beginning to get there, though. Ten had told him his real name, after all. Jaehyun could tell that wasn't information he gave out to just anyone. 

"Ten…" Jaehyun tried the name out, liking the way it felt on his tongue. "Cute. I like it."

Ten rolled his eyes; Jaehyun was kind of… hopeless. He was always paying him these compliments he'd never believe because there's no way anyone actually thought those things about him. He had gone from thinking Jaehyun was some kind of psychopathic murderer to thinking he was just plain crazy. 

They landed on a clock on the wall opposite them. Almost 3am. Had they really been here that long? It honestly felt like no time at all. But he still had three hours left, and somehow this place was making him feel more tired than he would have at work. Maybe it was because the sofas were so comfy. 

"So, what do you want to do next? Or do you just want to stay here? We still have three hours."

Ten caught Jaehyun mid-yawn, the younger turning away in a half-hearted attempt at politeness. 

"Hm? Really?" Jaehyun looked down at his watch. Huh. So they did. He was honestly wrecked, the last week beginning to catch up with him. "I might have to call it a night, I'm shattered."

"B-But you have me til six…"

What? Oh. Oh god yeah, Jaehyun was still paying for Ten's time. He had almost forgotten. This actually felt like a real date. 

"I mean… You don't have to stay that long, you could just go home. No one's gonna know, right?"

Ten thought about it. He hadn't even considered Jaehyun just letting him go… He was basically paying to give Ten a night off from work. That was so sweet. 

But the thought of it kind of scared him. He had a feeling that somehow Hansol would know. 

"But… Won't you be wasting your money?"

Jaehyun sighed. He didn't like the way Ten saw himself as some kind of object. Sure, he had paid to spend time with Ten, he wished he didn't have to, but that was the elder's job. That just how things had to be. Plus, he liked helping him out. He liked knowing Ten would have more money because of him. It was a hell of a lot better than what he was charging for men to do god knows what to him. 

"No, not at all. You could go home and get some rest… You look like you could do with it."

Ten bit back the urge to scoff out a sarcastic _'thanks'_ , because he could. He was running on empty here, couldn't remember the last time he had a day off. He was sure that even a few hours would help. 

"You sure?"

"Yeah. Honestly, I dunno how much longer I can stay awake myself. Come on, I'll get you a taxi home."

Ten followed Jaehyun out of the restaurant, not really knowing what to say as the younger led him to a nearby taxi rank. 

"This was nice. I liked seeing you outside of that god awful club."

Ten laughed softly. Jaehyun was right, that place was truly horrendous. 

"Thanks for giving me a break from it, I guess. But I think I'll just walk home."

"At this time?"

"Yeah." Ten shrugged, not seeing the problem. "I normally do."

Jaehyun twisted his nose. He didn't like the idea of that; London could be a pretty dangerous place at night. 

"Here." He dug around in his pocket to pull out a twenty. "Get a taxi and I'll pay. I want to make sure you're home safe."

"You really don't have to-"

"I do, take it." There was no way he was letting Ten walk home alone in the dark. He didn't want to make assumptions but he highly doubted Ten lived in a safe part of the city. 

He pulled the door of the nearest taxi open, insisting Ten get in. Twenty pound was nothing when it came to someone's safety. 

"Thanks, Jaehyun." Ten smiled weakly. Everything about this felt so weird. Not because he was nervous about being around Jaehyun anymore, but because he wasn't used to people caring about him. He didn't feel like he deserved it. Not considering what he was doing to the poor kid. 

"I'll see you soon, yeah? Get home safe." 

Ten stared at the note in his hand as Jaehyun shut the door behind him. None of this made any sense to him. Why was Jaehyun so nice? He didn't even realise people like that existed. And why was he being nice to Ten of all people?

He sighed, telling the driver his address. He wasn't sure he could do this anymore. He felt absolutely awful, and that was rare for him. He didn't usually care if he was involved in some guy cheating on his wife, if he broke up a family, because technically it wasn't his fault. He was just there to be used - he wasn't the one sneaking around and paying prostitutes for a quick fuck. He was the quick fuck. 

But this felt different. And it felt wrong. 

He unfolded the note, ready to hand it to the diver as rounded the corner onto his street when he caught sight of something. A card? Like a business card or something? 

Jaehyun's business card? 

Jaehyun Jung. SM Models.

And a phone number scribbled in biro underneath. When had Jaehyun even wrote this? It seemed a little weird for him to be giving out his personal number to people in the industry. Maybe it was actually his manager's number or something. 

But part of Ten wanted to find out. 

He locked his front door behind him, throwing his jacket on the floor, because he honestly didn't care what a state his flat was. It wasn't like he allowed anyone else to come over anyway. 

He punched the number into his phone, praying he hadn't woken some middle aged woman from her much needed beauty sleep. 

_"Hello?"_

He couldn't help but smile to himself as Jaehyun's voice rang down the line. God. How pathetic. 

"Hey, I got home safe."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is that ten opening up? 🥺 even just a lil? 🥺
> 
> comments and kudos are always greatly appreciated!! pls let me know what u thought ♡  
> feel free to follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/lowkeyamen) or send me any questions etc on [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/lowkeyamen)  
> thank u for reading!


	5. punch bag machine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! we are back!  
> this is quite an intense chapter, things are really starting to ramp up. please note there is a rape scene at the beginning of this chapter and while it's not graphic, if you want to skip this part please ctrl+f and paste ✧ ✦ ✧, which will take you to the next scene.   
> Also please note me and this fic 100% do not condone rape or sexual assault of any kind - however, unfortunately it is a big part of this story. This will never be glorified or sexualised in any way, however.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNINGS:  
> rape  
> physical abuse  
> suicidal thoughts & mentions of past suicide attempts

"Hanso-"

Ten let out a muffled yelp as a hand clamped over his mouth. He screwed his eyes shut as he tried his hardest to focus on breathing through his nose. On anything but what was currently happening. 

Hansol had found out that Jaehyun let him leave early. He had no idea how, but he knew. Ten had always suspected that maybe Hansol sent someone to follow him on his days off, but he really had no idea why. Hansol hated him. He never missed an opportunity to tell Ten how worthless he was, remind him of how much trouble he'd caused in the past. Ten couldn't understand why Hansol would waste his time or money keeping such a close eye on him. 

But, then again, he did treat Ten like a possession. He literally owned him, after all. And although he would sell him to countless numbers of men, it was almost like he didn't want anyone else to have him. Because Ten was his property. 

He didn't like that Jaehyun showed him compassion, that he seemed to care, because Ten wasn't worthy of that. 

He was angry that Ten had just gone home instead of going straight back to the club to make him more money. He was angry that Ten had taken some time for himself, even though Jaehyun had technically paid for that time. He was angry that Jaehyun didn't just treat him like some disposable object, that he didn't spend the hours he bought Ten for in the way that Hansol would. That he treated him like a human being with actual feelings. 

Because that wasn't how he saw Ten. He was nothing more than a sex toy to Hansol, and he definitely didn't like the idea of Jaehyun putting any thoughts in his head that he may be more than that. 

And that's why his fist has made contact with Ten's face the minute he opened his locker to put his bag away. Why he had pounded into the younger's stomach over and over as soon as he hit the ground - he didn't want to damage the merchandise too much, right? Ten looked pretty even with a black eye, but he was sure no one wanted to throw money at a stripper with a face so busted he was barely recognisable. 

And that's why he now had Ten pinned against the wall, fingers scrambling against smoke stained paint as he tried his hardest to scramble away from the man behind him. The man that was raping him. 

But he had to make Ten remember who it was he belonged to, right? 

"Literally all you're good for." Hansol commented, breathless as he pulled out of Ten, letting the younger sag against the wall now he was done with him. "Get yourself cleaned up, you have shit to do."

Ten's eyes slipped back into focus as he heard Hansol buckle his belt back up behind him. He always tried his hardest to zone out whenever Hansol came for him. He spent most of his night dissociating, in fact. He felt like he was never fully in his body anymore, but that made things easier to cope with. He had almost gotten used to the pain, used to performing when everything hurt. He was almost totally numb to his way of life by now. It had been so long since he'd had the freedom to do whatever he wanted; it was all he'd known for so long. 

"Don't ever think of pulling anything like that again. You see him here and you take his money, okay? Nothing more."

Ten flinched as the door to the locker room slammed shut, as Hansol finally left. 

That's when the tears started. He inwardly cursed himself, he absolutely hated crying. It was a waste of time, it's not like tears were going to help him. They wouldn't make him feel any better. Wouldn't stop the stinging in his eye, if anything they made it worse. He had to sort himself out. He had to be on stage in less than half an hour and Hansol would not be impressed if he didn't at least try to make an effort. 

He dragged himself to the shower, whimpering as he turned the heat up as high as it would go. It hurt, but it had become a ritual for him. He needed to feel like at least the top layer of his skin had been burned off; it was all he could do to stop himself feeling so... dirty. The tingling sensation on his skin as he stepped out of the shower momentarily replaced the feeling of thumbs digging into his skin. 

He knew he shouldn't have let Jaehyun send him home. He should have known it would come back to bite him. Literally. He winced as he applied a glob of thick concealer to just above his collarbone, trying his best to cover the bite mark Hansol had left. The one to remind him just who he belonged to. He knew it was pointless, that concealer wasn't going to hide broken skin, that it would probably continue to bleed throughout the night until it eventually scabbed over, but what else could he do? He had to try something. 

He applied the same concealer to his face, hissing as his fingers came into contact with his already swollen eye. That wasn't going to go down any time soon. Great. Every time he showed up to meet a client covered in bruises they took that as an invitation to litter his body with even more. He was in for a rough couple of nights, he knew that for sure. 

He finished off his makeup, trying his hardest not to take in his entire reflection. He didn't want to look at himself. It made him feel sick, realising how pathetic he was now. He never used to be like this. He was feisty and never hesitated to stick up for himself. He had a sharp tongue and didn't really care all too much if he offended anyone else. So long as he got his point across. 

But everything was different now. Hansol was right, he was completely worthless. 

He applied the rest of his makeup as if on autopilot because if he was wearing eyeliner that meant he couldn't cry, no matter how much he wanted to. He already looked a state; he didn't want to make matters worse. 

He took a deep breath as he faced the door of the locker room. _'You can do this, Ten.'_ He repeated over and over in his head as he prepared himself of for yet another night of hell. 

_'You have to do this.'_

✧ ✦ ✧

Ten had begun to dread Jaehyun's visits. He felt awful. He was using the only person that had ever seemed to care about him. He was exploiting Jaehyun's kindness just to keep Hansol happy. And most of the time it didn't even work. He was making more money than he ever had before and Hansol still didn't give him any room to breathe. Still wouldn't let Ten have a night off. 

It was confusing; Hansol didn't want him getting too close to Jaehyun, worried the model might corrupt him. Might make Ten think he was worth more than absolutely nothing, but he still wanted Ten to see him. Still wanted Ten to take his money. 

It was beginning to make him feel physically sick, which was how he found himself throwing up in the bathroom just minutes before Jaehyun was due to get here. He absolutely hated everything about this. 

He wished he could just run. That he could rid himself of this life and try to spare Jaehyun in the process. He wished he could just leave. Move to another city. Move back home. But he knew that was just some far-fetched fantasy. Hansol would find him somehow. He'd track him down and make Ten's life a living nightmare, even more so than it currently was. 

There was no way he'd let that amount of money go so easily.

He knew there was only one way out of this, beginning to realise that no matter how much money he made off Jaehyun Hansol would never allow him to fully pay off his debts. That he would always have a hold over him in one way or another. 

And that option was beginning to look more and more appealing every night. He really wasn't sure how much longer he could do this. Maybe he should just end things, once and for all. That was the only way he'd be free. 

No more using people. No more being used. No more abuse. No more control. 

Suicide was beginning to look like his only way out, but he wasn't sure he could even bring himself to try. What if it didn't work again? What if Hansol found out that he'd attempted again? He wasn't sure how things could get any worse, but he knew that somehow, they would. 

Jesus fucking Christ. He was the definition of pathetic. Too scared to even kill himself. Great. 

He washed his mouth out, not wanting to smell like vomit, before checking over himself in the mirror. It had been a few days since Hansol had hit him and a lovely yellow-rimmed mauve bruise had bloomed around his eye that no amount of makeup was able to cover. He just knew Jaehyun was going to ask what happened. This was going to be a long fucking night. 

"Ten!"

Ten smiled weakly as he entered the back room he and Jaehyun usually used, eyes cast down at the floor as if that would maybe distract the blonde from what a mess his face was. 

"Hey."

"How are you? I'm sorry I haven't been in for a while but I've been really busy with work and-" Jaehyun stopped in his tracks as he got a good look at Ten. It was pretty dark so he hadn't noticed straight away, but- holy fuck. "What happened to your face, are you okay?"

Ten flinched. He knew the question was coming but he wasn't expecting it so soon. Trust Jaehyun to notice straight away. No one else had asked how he was. 

"Y-Yeah, I just fell while I was dancing. Right from the top of the pole straight onto my face." Ten laughed lowly. That was the excuse he usually used on the rare occasion a client would ask what had happened to his face after a run in with Hansol. The majority didn't really give a fuck. He hoped Jaehyun would buy it, never having heard it before. 

"Oh. Wow." He almost reached out to brush his fingers against Ten's swollen eye, before deciding against it. He wasn't sure he believed Ten's slightly ridiculous excuse. Surely he was more likely to break something if that had happened, but... He wasn't sure it was his place to ask. He was still terrified of Ten throwing him out again. And maybe this time for good. "Do you not get time off for something like that? It's a work related injury, right?"

Ten scoffed. Jaehyun was so naïve. It was almost cute. 

"Nah we don't have anything like that here." Ten went to go sit down on the chaise lounge against the wall. He still felt really nauseous but he was pretty sure there was nothing left in his stomach to throw up. "Enough about me, though. How are you?"

Jaehyun didn't miss the way Ten changed the subject. There was clearly something going on here. Something he didn't want to talk about. Jaehyun was dying to ask; worried it might be something awful. It wouldn't surprise him, he doubted Ten's profession had any health benefits or whatever. He just really hoped the elder wasn't being taken advantage of by his boss. Or worse. 

But at the same time he didn't want to pry. Ten was very closed off, super guarded, and Jaehyun didn't want to scare him away. 

"I'm good. Just been working a lot. The usual." Jaehyun followed Ten, settling down next to him. Maybe he could try and ask a couple more personal questions later on, once their conversation was in full flow. Just slip them in. "Taeyong has been away on some placement so Jungwoo has been extra clingy, but I don't mind."

Jaehyun chuckled under his breath as he remembered the pout on his boyfriend's lips as he left to come see Ten. He had reminded Jungwoo that Taeyong was coming back tonight so he'd only be on his own for a couple of hours but he had still whined all day. 

"You didn't want to stay with him, instead of coming here?" Great. Not only was he draining Jaehyun of all of his money, but now he was coming between him and his boyfriends. Wait. Why did he even care about that? It wasn't his problem. He just- God, he hated everything about this. 

"He'll be fine, Taeyong will be home soon."

Ten shifted in his seat, pulling his sleeves down over his hands. He had made sure to fully cover up tonight, he couldn't hide his black eye, but he definitely didn't want Jaehyun to see the rest of his bruises. 

It felt weird when Jaehyun talked about his boyfriend's. He couldn't understand why the model would be here with him when he had the two of them back home. They both seemed so okay with it too. He didn't know a whole lot about relationships, never having been in one himself, but he was sure this wasn't how they worked. Maybe his gut instinct was right. Maybe Jaehyun's nice guy act was just that: an act. Maybe he had them brainwashed or something. 

"If you're sure." Ten smiled weakly. Honestly, he wished Jaehyun would just- He wished he would leave and never come back because then Hansol couldn't blame him for driving such a well paying client away. Then again, he would probably find a way to. Maybe he should just keep exploiting Jaehyun's kindness. What other choice did he have? 

"I am, he'll be fine." Jungwoo really wasn't that dependant on him. He had absolutely no problem with being on his own; he was just being extra dramatic tonight. "Why, do you want me to go?"

If it wasn't for the smirk on Jaehyun's lips Ten would have genuinely thought the model was in his head. 

"No, of course not!" That barely even felt like a lie, because he didn't want Jaehyun to go. He wanted to sit here and be selfish and not have to sleep with any creepy guys and just chill out for a bit. But...he was just so torn. "I like spending time with you."

"Good! Because I'm not going anywhere." Jaehyun beamed. The last thing he wanted was to give up on Ten. He wanted to help him, in any way he could. Just like he had helped Taeyong and Jungwoo. That's what he did for the people he loved. 

Loved… that word made his stomach churn a little. He really shouldn't have such strong feelings for Ten. They weren't together. He was just a guy Jaehyun paid to spend time with. A guy he honestly didn't know all that much about. And who definitely didn't feel the same. 

But he couldn't help himself. He had never believed in love at first sight, that seemed so shallow, but...The very second he set eyes on Ten it was like a jolt of electricity kick-started his heart. Not that it was dead to start with, but this was different to when he fell for Taeyong or Jungwoo. He couldn't quite put his finger on how...but it felt different. 

Ten smiled weakly. He honestly couldn't decide whether that was a good thing or not. It benefited him in so many ways; the money, getting a break from being used as nothing more than a sex toy, having someone to talk to that actually seemed to care about him. He had never had any of those things before. But he just felt so awful about this whole situation. 

"Fancy going out again tonight?" Jaehyun loved his and Ten's little date the other week, and he was dying to take him out again. He really didn't like this room. The fact he knew what Ten did in here...it unsettled him. 

"Oh, um- I'm not really allowed."

"How come?"

"My boss just said I have to stay here. Sorry."

Jaehyun's eyebrows furrowed. He really didn't like the sound of Ten's boss. He hadn't met the guy but… he seemed so controlling. He wondered if there was more to it than that. Maybe he was Ten's boyfriend or something. Or his pimp. That seemed more likely, but that wasn't exactly something Jaehyun knew much about. Sex work wasn't his area of expertise. 

"But if I'm paying for your time it shouldn't matter what we do, right? I pay the same as anyone else."

Ten shifted a little in his seat. That wasn't strictly true, Jaehyun well-paying well above the hour compared to any of his other clients because Hansol knew he could exploit the models fascination with Ten. 

"He just doesn't like me being out. He wasn't happy that I went home early instead of coming back here."

"How did he know?" Jaehyun's eyebrows furrowed further. This wasn't adding up. Surely Ten wouldn't have told him if he knew it was something he got into trouble. 

Ten shrugged. "I don't actually know. But he found out."

Jaehyun couldn't miss the way Ten curled in on himself as he talked about his boss. Something wasn't right here. At all he seemed so scared. Why would anyone be that scared of someone they worked for, unless… 

"Did he do that to you?"

"Do wh-" Ten glanced up, realising Jaehyun was looking straight at his black eye. "Oh, no- he didn't- no, I told you. I fell off stage when I was dancing and-"

"I thought you fell off of the pole."

"Yeah, I did, that- that's What I meant."

Jaehyun exhaled through his nose. He knew something wasn't right about all of this. 

"Ten, you can talk to me."

"There's nothing to talk about."

"I know it's not my place, but-"

"Then don't ask."

Jaehyun's stomach tightened as Ten cut him off. This felt exactly like when Taeyong was in trouble. When he refused to open up or let Jaehyun help. When he was- Fuck. 

"Maybe I can help."

"You can't." Ten scoffed. That was ridiculous. Who did Jaehyun think he was?

"Maybe even talking about it could-"

"You can't help. Okay? No one can. I can't-" Ten took a deep breath; there was no fucking way he was going to cry in front of Jaehyun. The model already clearly thought he was this pathetic little prostitute that couldn't handle himself, and maybe he was, but he wasn't going to come off as even weaker by crying. "Just keep paying me. That's all I need from you."

Oh. 

Jaehyun winced a little. Taeyong was right, wasn't he? Ten just wanted his money. He didn't want to bond, or for a relationship to form between the two of them. He was never going to fall for Jaehyun; he was just keeping him sweet so he'd keep writing those cheques. 

"So, you-" Jaehyun laughed bitterly. God, he was so fucking naive. So stupid. How hadn't he learnt from what happened with Taeil? "That's all I am to you?"

Ten swallowed. Fuck. Why had he said that? Hansol was going to kill him. And Jaehyun looked so... Fuck. 

"No, I- I just." How was he going to worm his way out of this One? He _did_ need Jaehyun for his money. He needed to keep seeing him so that Hansol wouldn't- But… he did anyway. He still did whatever he wanted with Ten. Still treated him like shit. It's not like things had really changed for him since meeting Jaehyun, beside the fact he had a few extra pounds in his pocket. If anything, things had gotten worse. Hansol seemed to expect more from him now. He would request Ten at all of his parties, make him the centre of attention, which may sound glamorous and all, but in reality it meant he'd just be used over and over by whoever Hansol had invited.

Maybe he should just let Jaehyun go. Maybe he should just tell him the truth. 

But… then his life really wouldn't be worth living. 

"This is the only way I can see you."

Jaehyun's heart wrenched. There was something more going on here, there had to be. 

"I could come visit you at uni, when you're on your lunch break."

"When I'm wh-" oh. Oh fuck yeah... He was meant to be a student. "I-I dunno..."

"Why not? I'd love to be able to see you outside of this place. I mean, I don't exactly love spending my nights here."

"I just- I'm really busy and I have to study-"

"It's only lunch, Ten. You have to eat, right?"

"I know, but…" now he wasn't sure how he was going to worm his way out of _this_ one. How did he get tangled in this web of lies again? Oh, right, Hansol. 

"Are you sure there nothing more going on?" Jaehyun couldn't figure out why Ten was so hesitant to meet him for a couple of hours if he wasn't just in it for the money… or if... How did his boss just know that Jaehyun had let him go home early? This just didn't seem right. "Can you not meet me because… he'll find out?"

Ten kept quiet. Why was Jaehyun pushing so hard for him to open up? Why did he care? What was his problem. 

"Listen, I just can't, okay? That's not part of my job. I'm here to be fucked and that's it. I'm a whore, Jaehyun. People pay me for sex, that's what I do, and I really don't know what you're expecting from this, but- Maybe…"

"Maybe what?"

"I don't know! I don't know why you're here! I don't know why you're paying me for nothing! I don't know why you care about me or- If you even do, I just-" Ten swallowed. What was he saying? Hansol would absolutely ruin him if he told Jaehyun to just leave. To stop coming over for these little… dates, or whatever they were. "It's just confusing."

"I care about you because I like you, Ten. Why is that so weird?"

Because no one had ever cared about him before, that's why. 

"But… why?"

Jaehyun shrugged. "I like spending time with you. You're cute and you make me laugh. I don't know if it's just an act because of… your job, but… I guess I'm willing to take that chance."

"But you… You shouldn't bother. I'm really not worth it."

"Well, I think you are." Jaehyun smiled, he really didn't want to let Ten go. Didn't want him to deal with whatever this was on his own. "And I'm not going to stop visiting, so you better get used to me."

Ten's chest tightened, and he wasn't quite sure why. Was it guilt? Guilt because Jaehyun was wasting so much money just to sit here with him? Guilt because he was using Jaehyun, all to keep his pimp off of his back - and the worst part was that it wasn't even working. Or was it something else? Maybe some kind of happiness? Because part of him really didn't want Jaehyun to stop coming. 

Or maybe it was both… and maybe he could… do something completely reckless and satisfy both of those twinges. 

"Really?" Ten breathed; face heating up for some weird reason. This was all so new to him. He wasn't used to all of these peculiar feelings and he wasn't quite sure he liked them, but... part of him wanted them to keep happening. Maybe he'd get used to them over time. "I just- I feel bad that you have to pay to see me and then all we do is sit here. I want- I want to go out again."

"Really? Are you sure? I don't- I don't want you getting into trouble..."

Ten chewed on his bottom lip for a second. He didn't want that either, but… fuck it! Hansol was currently making his life hell anyway. He was doing exactly what he was told - collecting his cheques from Jaehyun and keeping him coming back and he was still getting treated like shit. It was going to happen anyway, so he may as well enjoy himself. Even if it is just for a cup of coffee. He was willing to take that risk because his life had hit rock bottom anyway. What was Hansol going to do, anyway, kill him? Then who would he have to lord all of his power over? 

"But I want to! I just want to get out of here with you and- I want this to be worth your while and… To be honest, it was nice having a break from the place."

"I'd love that." Jaehyun beamed, sitting up a little straighter. Maybe Taeyong wasn't right after all. Ten didn't just want him for his money - he wouldn't be risking a telling off from his manager if not. He really wanted to go out and spend time with Jaehyun. Go on another date with him… "Should we go get your stuff?"

"Uh…" fuck. Ten hadn't thought about that. There was no way he'd be able to sneak to the locker rooms without Hansol noticing. He wasn't that lucky. "Can I borrow your phone to ring someone? I'll have them bring it to me, we're gonna have to go out the back."

Jaehyun furrowed his eyebrows. He knew Ten was sneaking out, but… this seemed a little extreme. But he agreed anyway, figuring he just didn't want a scalding. 

"Thank you so much!" Ten pressed a quick kiss to Jongin's cheek as the elder emerged from the back door to the club. He and Jaehyun had been waiting out here a good Ten minutes and he was starting to worry that something had happened. "You're a lifesaver."

Jongin scoffed. Lifesaver? He felt like the polar opposite, like he was marching Ten off to his death. 

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" He hissed, eyes flickering up to Jaehyun. "He's going to kill you when he finds out."

"He's not going to find out." Ten whispered back. "He would never disturb me when I'm with a client. I'll just sneak back in at the end of the night. Make sure the door stays unlocked, okay?"

"This just- It doesn't seem like a good idea, Ten. Why are you doing this anyway? Why are you risking everything for this guy? We know what he does to you."

Ten averted his eyes. None of the other whores he worked with were in quite the predicament he was. Sure, they weren't treated great, but it was a hell of a lot better than what Ten had to endure. He was the one Hansol made an example of, the one he took things out on. Because he was the one Hansol owned. The rest of them just worked there, picked up their pay cheques and went home. But it was different for Ten. Everyone knew that - they just didn't really speak of it. 

"Exactly. He does it anyway. He's going to keep doing it no matter what so I might as well at least try to… I dunno, enjoy myself? He's gonna hurt me either way, so"

Jongin sighed. Jesus Christ. What had he gotten himself into?

"Okay… fine. I'll try and keep him off the scent, okay? But I can't promise anything, Ten. And I'm not covering for you if he finds out."

"Thank you so much!" Ten bounced a little on the spot, throwing his backpack over his shoulder. God, he was just glad to be out of there. Even if it was only for a little while. "I'll be back before closing, I promise."

"Okay let's go." Ten turned, speed walking out of the car park before he had a chance to change his mind. 

"What was all that about?" Jaehyun questioned, he couldn't hear what the two of them were saying, but it didn't look good... 

"He was just worried about me… getting told off, you know? But it'll be fine. I'll be back before my shift ends."

"If you're sure." Jaehyun frowned. He had a feeling that maybe this wasn't a good idea. "You don't have to do this. We can just go back. I really don't mind it in there. I don't want you getting into trouble because of me."

Ten scoffed. Jaehyun was so naive he was always cute. 

"I want to, it was my idea, remember? I'm sick of sitting in there all night. You paid for this time so we should be allowed to do whatever we want, right?"

"Well, yeah, but your bo-"

"Shhh." Ten pressed his index finger to Jaehyun's lips, silencing him. "I don't want to talk about him."

Jaehyun nodded, not wanting to ruin the atmosphere. He had Ten with him, and that's all that should matter, right? He was still a little worried about the consequences of Ten's manger finding out, but… it couldn't be that bad, right? Maybe he'd just get a written warning or something. 

"So, what do you want to do?"

Ten shrugged. It was nearing one in the morning, he wasn't sure what they could do for the next few hours. 

"We could go clubbing."

Jaehyun hummed, that didn't really appeal to him. At all. 

"But then we can't talk. Too loud."

"Where else would be open? Unless you want to go to a different strip club."

Jaehyun scoffed. Definitely not. 

"Maybe we could find somewhere to go for just one drink. There's bound to be a pub still open at this time."

And he was right, of course he was. Drinking culture had always been a big deal in England. 

"Here we go!" Ten beamed as he slammed two shots of tequila down on the table in front of Jaehyun. He could barely afford his rent but tequila? There was always money for that. 

"So much for one drink." Jaehyun scoffed, finishing off his third pint before lifting the tiny shot glass to 'cheers' it with Ten's. 

"I'm a bad influence, what can I say." The dancer shrugged before necking the spirit. This place didn't have salt or limes but… it would do. Better than nothing. "Reckon we have time for one more?"

"I was thinking…" Jaehyun rested his head in his palm, elbow propped up on the table. "We should go get pizza. And maybe a chicken kebab."

"Oh yeah, and where are we gonna eat that?"

"By the river." Jaehyun mused. It wasn't that far of a walk from here. "That could be really romantic."

Ten couldn't help but scoff at how dreamy Jaehyun's voice was. Takeout pizza on a bench by a polluted river while drunk… with a stripper? Now, Ten was no expert when it came to romance, but he was sure that wasn't it. 

"I can't tell if you're drunk cause you're a total lightweight, or if you're just a complete sap."

Jaehyun thought it over for a moment. His face did feel a little tingly. 

"Maybe both." He stood, throwing his jacket back on. "Let's go, I'm starving."

And that's how Ten found himself in some greasy takeaway, smirking up at Jaehyun staring at the illuminated menu on the wall. How was he so drunk off just a few drinks? It was, dare he say… cute. 

"Can I have a fourteen inch pepperoni pizza with garlic mayo and a donner kebab and.... chips. No! Cheesy chips. With gravy. Oh and a can of Dr Pepper." He looked down at Ten for a second. "You want anything?"

Ten scoffed. "That's all for you? I thought models were meant to be on strict diets."

Jaehyun shrugged. He was actually on a diet at the moment, but… fuck it. He wasn't meant to drink on said diet either but here he was. "I let myself go once in a while."

The two of them sat down at one of those little tables where you couldn't pull the chairs out because they were attached to the table like in a school cafeteria. Ten absolutely hated them, they didn't allow for his weird sitting habits, but he guessed it made sense. It was probably better than drunken men throwing chairs around at 3am. 

He nodded along as Jaehyun rambled on about something or other. He wasn't fully paying attention. He actually felt a little buzzed himself. Though, he'd had two double vodkas for every beer Jaehyun had, so that could be why. 

He felt… kind of happy, actually. This was a nice little break from the monotony that was his life. A well-deserved break from the slew of men that usually visited him, from the beatings. 

It was nice to feel normal. 

"Can…" Ten was pulled from his thoughts as Jaehyun's knees bumped against his own. "Uh… can I kiss you?"

Ten raised his eyebrows. This was the first move Jaehyun had made on him since they met. Sure, they had kissed in the past, but only cause Ten had essentially pounced on the model. 

"Really? Here? By the punch bag machine?" Ten joked, nodding towards the arcade game. Why did they even have those in takeaways? "Thought you were all about the romance."

Jaehyun cast his eyes down for a second. "I dunno… I think this is kind of romantic. Everything with you feels romantic. To me… anyway."

Jaehyun wasn't stupid; he knew Ten didn't feel the same way. The dancer was definitely warming up to him but- Jaehyun had fallen. Already. And he had fallen hard. 

Ten blinked at the younger as Jaehyun averted his gaze. He was so… Ten didn't even know how to describe him. He was definitely unlike anyone Ten had ever met before. He was the polar opposite, in fact. He was kind and caring and he smiled more than Ten was used to. He was respectful and treated Ten like he was someone. Like he was an actual human being. 

He liked that. It felt nice to be seen as an actual person. 

Not that he deserved it. 

He really did feel awful about what he was doing to Jaehyun, which was rare for him. He usually couldn't give a fuck about anyone - because no one gave a fuck about him. But Jaehyun was different. Jaehyun was so different. 

And Ten wanted to give him what he wanted. Secretly… it was what he wanted too. 

"Sure, go ahead." 

Jaehyun broke into a dimpled smile, eyes finally meeting Ten's. They were so… bright. Ten felt his heart speed up a little as Jaehyun leaned in. What was that? Fear? That's usually how he felt when someone leaned in to kiss him. Panic, maybe? What if things changed once Jaehyun's lips were on his? It would be much easier for him to overpower Ten once he was that close and-

Oh. 

Ten suppressed a whimper as Jaehyun's lips barely grazed against his own. It was like he was asking permission for a second time. Once was unheard of in Ten's world, never mind this. 

So he leaned in, silently letting Jaehyun know it was okay as their lips slotted together. He let his eyes flutter shut as Jaehyun moved against him, didn't even jump as Jaehyun's hand rested on his knee. Why did he trust this guy so much? Was he making a huge mistake? Part of him didn't care. Maybe he wasn't, maybe Jaehyun really was a genuine guy. Or maybe he was a sociopath waiting for the right moment to slit his throat and throw him in the river. And honestly, he'd take the second option, because even if Jaehyun was just pretending, it was nice to feel like he mattered to someone. 

He let his mouth fall open, just slightly, allowing Jaehyun to suck on his bottom lip. He hummed softly to himself. He honestly couldn't remember the last time he had been kissed this tenderly. Or if he ever had been. It felt good though, he had never cared for kissing without tongue, finding it kind of juvenile, but...he stood corrected. 

Ten resisted the urge to pout as Jaehyun pulled away. He couldn't look like he enjoyed it that much now, could he? 

"Well?" Jaehyun's cheeks were flushed. He knew Ten was… experienced. What if he wasn't a good kisser? Oh god. 

"Your lips are really soft."

Jaehyun laughed under his breath. He'd take that. 

"Jungwoo bought me this sugar lip scrub. It's amazing. I'll get you one."

"Are you saying my lips aren't good enough the way they are?" Ten teased, making Jaehyun's blush deepen. He was so easy to rile up. 

"Wh- No, I just- You know, maybe you'd lik-"

"Order forty-three!"

"Go get your food." Ten nudged Jaehyun's shin with his foot, saving him the embarrassment of trying to explain himself. He laughed as Jaehyun scrambled up to get the feast he'd ordered himself. Why was he so damn endearing? And why was Ten… endeared? 

He got up, following Jaehyun out of the takeaway on the younger's mission to find a bench by the riverside because it was romantic or whatever. He didn't even object when Jaehyun's fingers laced with his own. Thank fuck it was dark because he was pretty sure his ears were burning. How fucking embarrassing. 

"Want a slice?"

"Hm? Oh, no...It's yours. You enjoy it."

"You don't seriously think I'm going to finish all of this myself, do you?" Jaehyun scoffed, garlic mayo dressing his dimple. 

"I mean… most of it is on your face." Ten rolled his eyes, thumbing the sauce away before snapping his hand back, realising what he was doing. Stupid Jaehyun and his stupid romance rubbing off on him. "But I'm fine, really."

Jaehyun wasn't convinced, he was beginning to pick up on the difference between Ten's fake and genuine smiles. And the way his arm wrapped around his stomach wasn't helping. He was definitely hungry. 

"Oh come on, try this, at least." Jaehyun passed the kebab across to Ten, the elder's nose wrinkling. 

"Is that that rotating meat thing?"

"It looks gross, but it's really good. Especially when you've been drinking."

Ten scoffed. It did… smell kinda good, actually. 

"Is that chilli sauce?"

Jaehyun nodded. Of course. A donner kebab without chilli sauce? He wasn't a monster. 

"Just try it. Watch out though, it's a bit messy."

Ten mumbled an 'okay fine', rolling his sleeves up before taking the pita from Jaehyun. He took a big bite, eyes narrowing as Jaehyun quirked an eyebrow. 

"Well? How is it?"

"It would be a lot better if you weren't staring at me." Ten quipped, wiping the side of his mouth with the back of his hand. Jaehyun was right, it was messy. "It's good though. I can't tell what kind of meat this is, but…"

"Yeah I have no idea either." Jaehyun laughed, helping himself to another slice. "It's good though, r-"

Jaehyun stopped as his eyes locked on Ten's arms. He was...absolutely covered in bruises, ones that wrapped around his slim wrists. He had gone along with Ten's little story about how he got that black eye but...

"You can have it back if you want." Ten scoffed. He'd only had another bite. 

"W-What happened to your arms?"

"What?" Ten's blood ran cold. Fuck. He popped the pita down on his lap, ignoring the fact it would stain his jeans as he pulled his sleeves back down. "It's nothing. Just...dancing, you know."

"Ten…" Jaehyun started. Now, he wasn't exactly an expert when it came to dancing, but he knew what those bruises were. He wasn't stupid. "Is someone hurting you?"

"I said it's nothing." Ten hissed. "Just drop it."

Why did Jaehyun have to go and ruin what was a perfectly nice night by sticking his nose in where it didn't belong? This was the last thing he wanted to talk about. 

"I can't… I'm worried about you."

"Well don't be. There. Simple. Just don't think about it."

"I can't just turn it off, Ten. I can't just stop thinking about you."

"Well maybe you should." Ten could feel his chest begin to tighten. But he wasn't going to cry. He didn't cry. "Just forget I even exist, I-"

"You know I can't do that." Jaehyun tried his hardest to meet Ten's gaze, despite the fact the elder was doing everything in his power to avoid looking at him. "I like you Ten. And I care about you. A lot. Please just tell me if there's something going on."

"Look, just- Don't, okay." Ten stood, placing the pita on top of Jaehyun's pizza box. "You shouldn't- I don't-" Ten was struggling to get his words out. Mainly because he had no idea what he wanted to say. "You're just a client Jaehyun. That's all this is. Don't worry about me, okay? I'm not worth it."

"Well I think you a-"

"I'm not! Okay? I'm not." Ten turned, his voice was beginning to grow tight, sinuses beginning to tingle. He wasn't going to cry. 

God, he hated everything about this. He was using Jaehyun. He was taking advantage of his kind nature and the weird infatuation the younger had with him. He was using him for his money, just to keep his pimp off of his back and it didn't even work. 

He couldn't do this anymore. He couldn't keep stringing Jaehyun along like this. 

"You need to stop wasting your money on me." Ten sniffled, wiping his face with his sleeve before turning back around so he could grab his backpack. He had to get out of here. "Go back to your boyfriends, Jaehyun."

"Ten, don't go." Jaehyun pleaded leaving his food on the bench as he stood to stop Ten, placing a hand on his shoulder to get him to turn around. But Ten jumped at the contact. Like, really jumped. Practically cowered. 

Okay. There was definitely something going on here. No one flinched like that without reason. 

"I need you to talk to me. I don't know what's going on, but I don't want you going through this on your own." 

"Please stop being so nice to me."

Ten felt himself well up as Jaehyun's fingertips brushed up against his before linking them together. 

"There's no way that's going to happen."

The beating of his heart went from pure fear - terrified that something was going to happen like any other time someone grabbed at him (and that was a massive exaggeration, Jaehyun had barely tapped him) to... something else. He didn't know what it was but...he felt warm. God, this was all so confusing. He didn't know what he was feeling but whatever it was it was overwhelming. 

So overwhelming he couldn't hold back the tears, even though he wasn't quite sure what he was crying over. He was just full to the brim with all of these conflicting emotions and none of them made sense and he couldn't cope with it anymore. 

So he didn't care how stupid he looked. He let himself cry because he didn't know what else to do - and he was pretty sure he wouldn't be able to stop it if he even tried. 

He couldn't even do anything when Jaehyun pulled him into his chest. He just let himself sob into the younger's shirt because he didn't have the energy to pull away. And...Well, he wasn't sure when someone last hugged him, actually. It felt nice and for some reason he trusted Jaehyun to just hold him. He didn't really trust anyone, but...

He didn't know. He really didn't know anymore. He didn't know what he was doing or feeling or who he was or what he wanted. 

So he just let himself cry. He let Jaehyun wrap his arms around him and let himself lose it just for a moment. 

Jaehyun's heart broke as Ten cried into his chest, his t-shirt slowly but surely becoming saturated with tears. He pressed a soft kiss to dark hair as he rocked the elder back and forth, déjà vu hitting him. Jaehyun had never given up on anyone before. He hadn't given up on Taeyong or Jungwoo and he wasn't about to give up on Ten. He knew the elder was hiding something from him, something painful, and he wanted to help. He wanted to protect Ten from whatever this was. 

"You're coming home with me tonight, okay? I can't leave you alone when you're this upset." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are always greatly appreciated!! pls let me know what u thought ♡  
> feel free to follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/lowkeyamen) or send me any questions etc on [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/lowkeyamen)  
> thank u for reading!


	6. spooning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh! the morning after the night before 🥺 ten went home with jaehyun and what do you thinks gonna happen? will jaehyun manage to get through to him and hatch a plan to help or is ten going to go back to hansol? things are starting to get serious here!! 
> 
> TW for this chapter:  
> mentions of sexual abuse  
> physical abuse

Ten woke up with a pair of arms wrapped around his waist. That wasn't something he was used to, especially without sex being involved the night before. He liked it. Maybe he could get used to this. 

No.

No he couldn't. 

That was a stupid idea. 

He had to leave. 

He should be cutting Jaehyun out, for his own good, not snuggling up in bed with him. 

He lifted the younger's arm slowly, sliding out from his space, nestled into Jaehyun's chest, instantly missing the warmth for some reason. He wasn't sure he had ever been spooned before, but it was kind of nice. Made him feel sort of safe. 

He undressed and redressed quietly, leaving the clothes Jaehyun had let him sleep in in a neat pile on the end of the bed. 

Ten wasn't entirely sure how this happened. He remembered crying by the river and Jaehyun holding him. He remembered Jaehyun suggesting he spend the night, and not protesting even though he probably should have. He felt so guilty for what he was doing to him and... Jaehyun just kept being nice to him. Kept trying to help him. Ten didn't really understand it, but he was kind of grateful. 

He didn't remember a lot else, which was weird considering he hadn't even drank that much. He was just so exhausted. Probably because he had been crying like a little bitch. How embarrassing. 

But... nothing hurt, he noticed. Normally, when he woke up the next day with a patchy memory there was a lot of pain. Like he just knew his entire body had been used over and over, and he was usually thankful he couldn't remember that. But this was different. He felt refreshed. He couldn't know for sure, but he was pretty sure Jaehyun would never do anything like that to him. He would have shown his true colours by now if he was that kind of person, no doubt. 

He looked over Jaehyun's sleeping form. He looked so... serene. Even more so than usual. Every muscle in his body was screaming for him to crawl back in with him and snuggle in because Jaehyun was the first person that had ever shown him even the slightest bit of care or affection since he came to this country but- 

He couldn't. He couldn't keep doing this to him. He couldn't keep using Jaehyun for his money or toying with his emotions. He couldn't let the younger get mixed up in all of his shit. He didn't deserve that. 

The last thing he wanted was to walk out on Jaehyun; he hated the thought of him waking up alone after everything. But he didn't really have a choice. He needed to go and- Well he didn't know what he was going to do, but he couldn't see him again. He just couldn't. He wasn't sure how he was meant to get out of this considering the hold Hansol ha-

Hansol. 

Fuck. 

His eyes flickered across to the clock on Jaehyun's bedside table. 7:46. Fuck. 

The club closed over three hours ago. He promised Jongin he'd be back. 

Fuck. 

He was _beyond_ fucked. 

Forget what he said about Hansol not actually killing him because he wanted his money - he was pretty sure he was going to find himself in a body bag by the end of the night. 

He had to go and fucking grovel. Think of an excuse. Something. 

He grabbed his bag, heart racing as he snuck out of Jaehyun's room. How the fuck was he going to get out of this one? God he was so stupid. Why did he ever think this was a good idea? What the fuck had he been thin-

"You must be Yongqin."

He froze. A lavender haired boy around the same age as him, if not younger was sat next to the balcony, door slightly ajar, cigarette in hand. 

"Taeyong. Jaehyun's boyfriend." He offered as he blew smoke out into the balcony. It was too cold to sit outside. "Does he know you're leaving? Jaehyun is rarely up before nine."

Ten clearly had guilt written all over his face as his eyes trailed down to the sleeves of his top. He wanted - no, he _needed -_ to leave but he felt like he couldn't move under Taeyong's gaze. 

"If you don't like him, you have to be up front with him. When Jaehyun falls for someone; he falls hard." Taeyong flicked some of the ash of his cigarette out of the door. "And if you break his heart, I'm afraid I'll have to break your nose."

The serene smile on Taeyong's lips made it difficult for Ten to figure out whether Taeyong was joking or not, but it made him flinch slightly anyway. It wasn't the first time he'd heard that. 

"Which would be a shame, because you're gorgeous. I can see why he's so enamoured with you."

"I… I can't do this, I'm- I'm no good for him. Trust me."

Taeyong laughed softly, throwing the used cigarette butt out of the door and standing to slide it shut. He was shorter than Ten had expected. 

"You sound like me when I was younger." He crossed the room to sit on the sofa in their tiny open-plan apartment, motioning for Ten to join him, which he did, for some reason. He really had to go but… There was something about Taeyong. 

"I thought the exact same thing. I didn't want him to be with me because I thought he deserved better. I thought I would ruin him or something."

"You don't understand. It would be better if he just forgot about me."

Taeyong hummed, regretting his earlier threat now he was closer to Ten, now he could see the black eye that only just seemed to be beginning to fade. 

"I- I really need to go, I'm in a lot of troub-"

He took a hold of Ten's hand, making the younger stop in his tracks. Was this really how people acted? First Jaehyun, now Taeyong. This person he had never even met was being so gentle with him. He wasn't shouting or treating him like shit. He was being… nice. Ten wasn't used to this. At all. 

"I can see that. He's worried about you, though." Taeyong picked up on the way Ten's fingers shook slightly. He was scared. He wasn't sure why, but Ten was terrified of something. Or someone, more than likely. "Jaehyun lives to help people; he would never give up on anyone. If he thinks you're good enough for him, then you are. He's actually very stubborn like that."

His thumb ghosted over the bruise that had begun to form on Ten's wrist, pushing the dancer's long sleeves up slightly to reveal a number of faded bruises up his forearm. Ten pulled his arm back as if he had been burned by Taeyong's touch. He wasn't sure why he hadn't done that sooner but… Taeyong had this kind of calming energy around him. Ten trusted him and he had no idea why. He'd known the guy all of three minutes. 

"Let him help you, Yongqin. By the looks of things you're the one that deserves better." 

✧ ✦ ✧

He stayed. 

He didn't know why, because he was only making things worse for himself, but he figured the damage was done, and maybe staying here was better than going home. At least Hansol wouldn't know where he was. It may only infuriate the man further, but... for now, at least, it seemed like the better option. 

Taeyong's words had really affected him, he wasn't sure why; but they did. He knew he should let Jaehyun go, that it would be selfish to get him tangled up in the mess that was his life. But… He couldn't do it. He couldn't just leave, because then what was he going to do? What would he have? 

He couldn't bring himself to leave because the moment he stepped out of that door he was going back to his life of crippling debt and a man that had been using him since he was just a teenager. He was going back to being nothing more than a cheap whore that had no purpose in life but to service the barrage of men that came through his door. He went back to not being a person. 

And he couldn't do that. 

It may be selfish, but he just couldn't do it. 

He changed back into the clothes Jaehyun had given him, climbing back into bed with the younger as if nothing had happened and he let himself relax. Sort of. The best he could. 

He lay there for a while, just watching Jaehyun sleep. A little creepy, but… He looked so peaceful. 

Jaehyun was attractive; gorgeous, even. There was no way Ten could deny that. And he was nice too. Like, genuinely nice. He was sweet and caring and he seemed to have a heart of gold and Ten honestly couldn't think of anyone he'd met like Jaehyun. Especially not of late. 

He inched a little closer to the model, smiling at the warmth he was giving off. He let his eyes flutter shut; let himself forget about everything just for a moment. Let himself… Pretend. Pretend that this was his life. That he lived in a nice apartment and got to sleep next to a hot model and he didn't have any debts hanging over him or a pimp controlling his life. That he was normal, and happy, even. 

He knew it was stupid. Unrealistic. That he would never have anything like this. That he'd have to go home eventually, to his shitty little flat on the wrong side of town. That he'd have to... Face Hansol. And god knows what was going to happen when he did. 

But he didn't want to think about that right now. He just wanted to lie here on this soft mattress, and drift back off to sleep because he couldn't remember the last time he had a decent lie in. 

"Hey." 

Ten cracked an eye open as a soft voice spoke beside him god knows how long later. 

"Hi."

"How you feeling?"

Ten shrugged. He wasn't even sure so there was no way he could answer that question. He was feeling a lot of things, but trying not to feel anything at the same time. 

"I'm okay."

Jaehyun hadn't pushed last night, he hadn't tried to get Ten to open up, he just let him rest. Gave him a shoulder to cry on and a bed to sleep in. 

But Ten knew it was coming. Knew the questions were lingering on the tip of Jaehyun's tongue, and he wasn't sure how he was going to answer them. 

Part of him wanted to believe Taeyong. Wanted to believe that Jaehyun really could help him. He wanted to open up and tell him everything in the hope that maybe, just maybe he would be able to change Ten's life, but... He knew that was stupid. There was no way Jaehyun could help. No way he would want to help once Ten told him what he had been doing - how he had been using him. 

So what was the point? 

"I- I wasn't being creepy but I saw your back when you got changed last night and- You're covered in bruises. Do...you want to talk about it?" 

Ten shook his head against the pillow. He wasn't sure he could even if he wanted to. He was already going to be in a whole world of trouble, there was no point in making things worse. 

"Are you sure? Is someone doing this to you?"

"It's just… Clients." Ten whispered. It was partially true. Hansol wasn't the only one that laid their hands on him. "Sometimes they get a bit carried away. It's not a big deal."

"It looks like a big deal." Jaehyun sighed. He knew it was going to be difficult to get ten to open up. His walls were built so high, and Jaehyun was worried that pushing too hard would make things worse. Ten seemed so volatile, like the smallest thing could make him snap, cause him to clam right back up. So Jaehyun knew he had to be careful. "I really do worry about you. Can't you tell your boss what they're doing?"

Ten scoffed, as if he wasn't the one that caused the most damage. 

"He doesn't care as long as I'm making him money."

Jaehyun furrowed his eyebrows a little. He was in no way an expert when it came to sex work, but he had learned it wasn't something he would ever judge someone for. If that's how they wanted to make their money, then that was their choice. But... He was beginning to wonder whether Ten really did have a choice in this. Surely if he did he would just find better clients, right? He'd just quit and go work somewhere where the manager would care more. 

"He sounds like an asshole. Why don't you just leave?"

"Cause…" It was on the tip of his tongue, he couldn't leave because he owed Hansol so much money, because he was his pimp's plaything and there was no way out of it. But he couldn't. He couldn't bring himself to say it. He had never told anyone before. Sure, the other dancers knew what was going on, to some extent at least, but Ten had never said it aloud. "I don't know where else to go."

"I'm sure there are…" Jaehyun started before stopping himself. He wasn't sure there were better places to work because that whole world was a complete mystery to him. "Well, I just-" he sighed, not really sure what to say. "I don't like the idea of anyone hurting you. You deserve better."

Ten smiled bitterly. It was a nice sentiment but… it wasn't true. He did deserve it. Everything he got, he deserved. Because he was completely worthless. Disposable. He was nothing. 

But he didn't want to talk about this any longer. He pushed what Taeyong said to the back of his mind because Jaehyun couldn't help him. He knew that. There was no point in even divulging all of the gory details because it wasn't going to make a difference. No one could help him. He was on his own with this one. 

So he changed the subject. There was no point in dwelling on this. 

"Why haven't you made a move on me? Besides that kiss? Why haven't you- You know… I'm a prostitute and you pay me, but…"

"Because I would never pay you for that." Jaehyun would never expect anything like that from Ten. Not for money, especially. "If we ever slept together I… I'd want you to do it because you wanted to. Not because I paid you to. I would never force you to do anything you don't want."

Ten blinked. Jaehyun really was something else. He had every right to take what he wanted - he was a paying customer, after all. Right? That's how things worked, didn't they? They did in Ten's world at least. 

"Plus… It probably sounds stupid. But I wanted our first time to be, like, special. You know?"

 _Special_ … 

Jaehyun really thought this was going somewhere, didn't he? He thought he and Ten were going to end up together. They were going to be boyfriends or whatever. Fall in love, even. 

But in reality Ten was just using him. Using him for his money because he had no other choice. That made him feel sick. God, he was an awful person. Jaehyun didn't deserve this. Not at all. 

He had to break things off. He had to come up with another way to pay Hansol back - if he didn't get murdered before he had the chance to do so - because this wasn't fair on Jaehyun. He couldn't keep taking advantage of him like this. 

But he'd give him what he wanted first. What he had paid all of that money for. It was the least he could do. 

"I think this place is pretty special." Ten whispered, sitting up on his elbow, so he was looming over Jaehyun. "Maybe we could..."

Jaehyun's eyes widened as Ten leaned over him, lips only centimetres away from his own. 

"Are you sure? Y-You don't have to. It's okay."

"I want to." Ten caught Jaehyun's bottom lip between his own, sucking softly before letting go. It was actually pretty adorable how flushed his face was right now. 

It wasn't even a lie - he did want to. Jaehyun was hot, like - really hot. Of course Ten wanted to sleep with him. And he was the first person that had ever treated him like an actual person. Why wouldn't he want to say thank you by sleeping with him? 

"You're like… really hot." Ten giggled, fingers ghosting over Jaehyun's sternum, drawing patterns into the dark t-shirt he slept in. "And you're so nice to me I want… I want to make you feel good. I know you want me too."

Jaehyun felt himself flush further as Ten smirked. He did. He really wanted him, but... he had to make sure it was Ten wanted too. What he really wanted. Not that this was just something he was because he felt like he had to. 

"I-I do, I just- I really don't mind waiting. I need to make sure you're doing this for the right reasons, I don't want you to feel like you have to."

"I don't, trust me. You could have easily forced me, but you haven't." Jaehyun's stomach twisted at the way Ten said that. So casually, like it wasn't a big deal. But it was. It was a massive deal. 

"D-" Jaehyun swallowed thickly, a little scared of the answer. "Does that happen a lot?"

"Let's not talk about that." Ten swung his leg over Jaehyun's waist, settling himself down on the younger's stomach, effectively trapping him between his thighs. "It's not important."

"Ten…" Jaehyun's voice was barely above a whisper. He was worried. Really worried. There was something _really_ bad going on here. "It is. Anyone doing… _that_ to you _is_ important."

"Jaehyun." Ten whined, shoulders slumping. "I just… I've never had anyone treat me the way you do and- I want to know what it's like to… _be_ with you. Please?"

Jaehyun swallowed again. He really didn't know what to do. Ten seemed so sure that he wanted this, but...

Ten leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to Jaehyun's lips. He wanted this. He _really_ wanted this. 

"Please?"

Jaehyun craned his neck up, catching Ten in a deeper kiss, his hands either side of his face, pulling him in closer. He wanted this too. So fucking badly. He had wanted this from the moment he set eyes on Ten in that dingy strip club, twirling around the pole, back arched as he showed off every inch of his body. He was gorgeous. Beyond gorgeous. 

But Jaehyun respected him. He didn't want to fuck him and throw him a few bills like the rest. He wanted _Ten._ Not Yongqin. Not some cheap, dirty shag that Ten was only doing because he had to. He wanted him to want it. He wanted him to trust Jaehyun. Maybe even...like him. 

Ten tugged at Jaehyun's t-shirt, needing it off. Jaehyun was hot. Like, really hot. So of course he wanted to sleep with him. And... This was going to be it. The last time he saw Jaehyun. He wanted to end things on a high note. He wanted to thank him for everything he had done, and this was the only way he knew how. 

Jaehyun obliged, lifting off of the bed slightly so Ten could pull the dark material off, flinging it across the room. 

"God, I want you so bad." The elder breathed, fingers trailing down Jaehyun's sternum, hips rocking in tandem. 

Jaehyun gasped out as Ten mouthed at his collarbone, arms wrapping around the smaller boy, fingers creeping under his shirt, careful not to press down to hard or hurt him. 

Ten really wanted this, didn't he? He actually wanted Jaehyun. He wasn't being paid or felt like he had to...he really wanted him. 

And Jaehyun wanted him too. 

So he flipped Ten over onto his back, earning himself an excited squeak as he held him close, their bodies flush against one another. 

"I want you too." He pressed another kiss to Ten's mouth, revelling in the way the elder melted into it. Kisses weren't really something he was used to, not romantic, tender ones like this, anyway. He couldn't get enough. "You have no idea how much I want you."

"Then show me."

Jaehyun sat up, finger hooking in the elasticated waistband of the sweatpants he had let Ten borrow, the dancer keening to his touch, hips lifting off of the bed, giving him plenty of room to pull them off. 

He palmed over the bulge that was beginning to grow, making Ten's eyes flutter shut as he gave into the sensation. It felt nice - someone focusing on this for a change. Someone looking after him. 

He bit down on his bottom lip as he felt the cold air against his thighs as Jaehyun pulled the pants down, waiting for Jaehyun to touch him. His skin was literally aching for it, desperate. 

But it never came. 

He opened his eyes slowly, wondering whether Jaehyun was looking for lube or something, but instead he found the model just staring at him, mouth slightly agape and eyes full of worry. 

"Jaehyun?"

Jaehyun took a shuddering breath in as his eyes scanned over the skin in front of him. He thought tens back was bad, but... The discolouration… Faded ochre, bright violet, deep burgundy. The _obvious_ thumb prints on his inner thighs, as if they'd been forcefully pulled ap- He felt sick. How could-

"Jaehyun." Ten's voice shook as he realised what Jaehyun was looking at. He knew he was a mess, that he wasn't pretty, but... "Just ignore them."

"Ten, I-"

"Jaehyun, _please_. Pretend they aren't there.." He laced his fingers with Jaehyun's, pulling the younger back down on top of him, shifting his gaze from the marks on his pale skin. "I need this."

Tears began to prick his eyes again; he wasn't used to being this emotional. He didn't like it. He needed Jaehyun to understand how much the needed him right now. He wanted to lose himself in the blonde, forget about everything, even if it was just for a short while. 

"I know… I'm not as beautiful as your boyfriends and that I'm a mess, but-"

"You're not. You're not a mess." Jaehyun stroked the back of his index finger over Ten's cheekbone as he shed a tear. "You're absolutely gorgeous."

Jaehyun pressed a chaste kiss to his lips, Ten's fingers burying in his hair in an attempt to deepen it, but Jaehyun pulled away before giving him any real contact. 

"I'm sorry, Ten. I can't do this while you're so upset. I don't want to take advantage of you." He rolled off the dancer, sitting cross-legged on the bed next to him as he stroked through dark hair.

Ten sat up to face the younger.

"Jaehyun, please. I need you." He knew how desperate he sounded, more tears threatening to spill. But he wanted this so bad. "Please… just fuck me. I need to know someone cares about me."

"I do care about you." Jaehyun thumbed away another tear. "I care about you _so much."_

"Then show me." Ten practically crawled into Jaehyun's lap. He knew he looked pathetic, but he didn't care. He needed this. He needed to at least feel like he was loved or whatever. He needed to be with Jaehyun right now, because it was going to be his last opportunity to do so, before he let go of the only decent thing in his life. "Please, Jaehyun. I need- I'll make you feel so good, I promise. It'll be good."

"Ten..."

"I'll suck your dick! I'll… I dunno, you can gag me, hurt me-" Jaehyun's heart shattered. Is that really what Ten thought he wanted? Or was it just what he was used to? By the state of his skin he imagined it was. Ten really thought so little of himself and Jaehyun wanted to change that, he really did. He wanted to show Ten that he was worth so much more than the scraps those men paid him, that he was more than just some prostitute that people took advantage of on a daily basis. 

But this wasn't the right way to do it. 

"I'll do anything you want, just please, Jaehyun. I need you to show me you care about me."

"Ten…" Jaehyun took Ten's hands in his own, looking down at them. They were so tiny. "I know you think this is what you need, that it'll make you feel better. But it won't."

Ten sniffled. This couldn't be happening. Why was this happening? 

"I care about you more than you'd ever know. And I'm worried about you, really worried." Jaehyun's eyes flickered up to meet tens, the other boy instantly averting contact. "That's why I can't do this. You're too fragile right now."

_Fragile? Fucking fragile?_

Ten turned his gaze back to Jaehyun, eyebrows furrowed, eyes filled with tears. 

"Fragile?" He rived his hands from Jaehyun's. "You think I'm fucking _fragile?"_

"T-"

The dancer scoffed, crawling off of Jaehyun. Was he being fucking serious? 

"You don't know anything about me, Jaehyun. The last thing I am is fucking _fragile_." 

What a fucking joke. Did Jaehyun seriously think a fragile person could go through what he went through on a daily basis and come out the other side standing? Did he think a fragile person could endure everything Hansol threw at him? Did he think a fragile person could make it this far on his own? He'd never had anyone to lean on, never had anyone to love him or that cared about him. And Jaehyun thought he was just some fragile little doll he was scared of breaking? 

Bullshit. 

He stood, pulling the sweatpants back up and throwing on the shirt he had slept in before grabbing his jacket and shoes. He didn't even bother collecting the clothes he had come in, he just needed to get out of here. Now. This was a bad idea. He never should have come home with Jaehyun. He should have known this was all too good to be true. 

"Fuck this." He opened the door of Jaehyun's bedroom to leave. "If you won't fuck me, there are plenty of other guys out there that will." 

He slammed the door, storming through the open-plan apartment, not even acknowledging Taeyong and Jungwoo in the living room. 

"What's his problem?" Jungwoo whispered to his boyfriend; Taeyong shushing him as his eyes followed the dancer. 

"Ten, wait! Please, we need to talk." Jaehyun burst out of his room, running after the dancer; his boyfriends watching in silence from the sofa. "I want to help you. Don't go back there. Please."

He knew there was something shady going on at that club. Something Ten wasn't telling him and that he knew he was terrified of, even if he would never admit it. 

"Just leave me the fuck alone." Ten stopped at the front door, turning to face the taller boy. "You don't get any say in how I live my life. You're just some loser that fucking pays to spend time with me." His voice cracked as the tears streamed down his face. "Goodbye, Jaehyun." 

Jaehyun raked his hands through dirty blonde hair, his own tears starting to spill. He thought he was doing the right thing by turning Ten down, he didn't feel comfortable sleeping with the dancer when it was so clear someone, or some people, were abusing him. He hadn't expected him to take off like that, though. He didn't want him to go find solace in some random guy's bed. Someone who would just treat him like the rest do. 

"Jae, you need to go after him."

He turned to see his two boyfriends standing behind them, their faces awash with worry. He nodded, running back to his room to throw on some clothes before leaving, hoping to catch Ten. 

✧ ✦ ✧

Ten woke up with a pair of arms wrapped around his waist. He could definitely get used to this. He smiled to himself, shuffling back into the warmth of Jaehyun's body. 

His eyes snapped open. That wasn't Jaehyun. His head was pounding, his throat was dry and he was completely disoriented. He had no idea where he was. This room didn't look familiar at all. 

He turned to look at the sleeping body next to him _. Oh, Jesus. Who the fuck was this?_

He groaned, getting out of the bed and collecting his, well, Jaehyun's, clothes. There was no way he was staying here for this guy to wake up. 

He pulled the oversized tee over his head. _Lavender and jasmine_. He let his eyes fall shut, inhaling the scent that reminded him so much of Jaehyun. 

He winced at the pain in his lower back as he moved to leave wherever he was, checking his phone as he rushed out of the building. 

12 messages and 8 missed calls from Jaehyun. 

His heart ached slightly, but he wasn't sure why. 

Maybe he had gone too far, maybe he shouldn't have been such a dick to Jaehyun… He just didn't like people assuming things about him. 

But maybe he should have stayed, even if Jaehyun wasn't going to sleep with him, maybe he should have just taken the opportunity to get some rest in a warm, hospitable environment. To be held by someone that cared about him. 

Because Jaehyun was only trying to help. All he ever wanted to do was help… 

His thumb hovered over the notification. It was almost midnight, he couldn't phone Jaehyun to come help him out of this mess now. That wasn't fair. He was meant to be letting go. 

He was doing what was best for Jaehyun. He didn't deserve to be caught up in the mess that was Ten's life. 

He found his bearings as he walked around the streets, realising that he wasn't that far from work. He might as well go there since he had no cash on him to get home. 

He'd have to face the music sooner or later. 

"Where _the fuck_ have you been?" Jongin hissed as ten entered the locker room. "I thought you were coming back last night!"

"Leave it, Jongin."

"Tell me what happened Ten. What the fuck are you playing at? He's going to-" Jongin sighed. Hansol was absolutely furious last night when it came to closing and Ten wasn't there. That he would even think of sneaking out. "I know you weren't with Jaehyun cause he's been here half the night. So where-"

"Jaehyun?" Ten's eyes widened a little. Jaehyun… was here? Oh no. No no no. He had to get him out of here. He shouldn't be here. He should be at home with his boyfriends. Far, far away from this mess. Hansol was going to kill him. "Where is he?"

"I dunno, at the bar probably." Jongin lunged forwards, grabbing Ten's wrist as the younger tried to take off. "I don't think that's a good idea. You need to go see Hansol."

Ten scoffed, pulling his wrist free before storming out of the locker room. As if he was going to do that. He needed to get Jaehyun out of here first. 

He pulled the hood of his jacket up, hoping no one would recognise him as he looked around the bar for the model. Oh! There he was! Perfect! 

"Jaehyun?" He whispered as he approached the younger. He was sat on one of the bar seats, a half empty glass of lemonade in front of him. "What are you doing here? You need to _leave."_

"Ten?" Jaehyun breathed a sigh of relief. He was okay. Thank god. Or at least...he was alive. He probably wasn't okay. Or at least not as okay as he made out. "I needed to see you. I've been looking for you all day and- I needed to know you're alright."

"I'm fine. Now go."

Jaehyun's heart dropped. He knew Ten was pissed off at him… That he probably shouldn't have said what he said. 

"Look, I'm sorry. I know you're annoyed at me and I messed up, but-"

"Jae." Ten started, nibbling on his bottom lip. "I'm not. I was- I was just being an asshole and… Look, it doesn't matter. You need to leave. You can't be here. It's not safe."

Jaehyun's eyebrows furrowed. Not safe? What did ten mean by that? He knew there was something sketchy going on here. 

"W-What do you mean?"

"I just need you to forget about me and go, okay? Just g-"

"Yongqin?"

Ten froze as a deep voice called his name. He looked up, cautiously, finding Hansol stood directly behind Jaehyun, the model had already swivelled in his seat, catching his eye. 

Oh fuck. 

"You must be Jaehyun." Hansol smiled, almost sweetly. It made Ten feel sick. "Nice to meet you."

"Oh- Nice to meet you t-"

"Office. Now." Hansol don't even wait for Jaehyun to finish before his eyes locked on Ten. He turned on his heel, expecting ten to scurry after him. Which he did. Obviously. 

"Wait." Jaehyun caught Ten's wrist, stopping him in his tracks. "Don't go."

"I have to." Ten hissed back, freeing himself from Jaehyun's grasp. "Get out of here. Please."

"Ten I-"

"Yongqin!"

Ten took off before Jaehyun had the chance to speak. He was in for it. _Really_ in for it, and he couldn't risk making things even worse than they already were. 

"Look at the fucking state of you." Hansol scoffed as Ten stepped into the room. He lit up a cigarette as the dancer pulled his hood down, fingers carding through his hair in an attempt to make himself look a little more presentable. 

"Did you let someone fuck you?" He sneered, noticing the mark on Ten's neck. "Hope they paid, because you owe me after that little stunt you pulled last night."

His heart was thumping against his chest so hard he swore he was either going to crack a rib or go into cardiac arrest. What the fuck had he gotten himself into? 

"So, where the fuck have you been?" Hansol asked, voice calm. A lot calmer than Ten expected it to be. "Did you think running off with your little boyfriend was going to work?"

Ten swallowed thickly as Hansol pouted - mocking him. 

"What? Did he take you on some romantic little date?" Hansol laughed to himself, taking a drag. "Did you make sweet, tender love and fall asleep in his arms?"

Ten shifted on the spot. He could never tell whether Hansol's questions were rhetorical or not. 

"You know, I always liked that Jaehyun. Or at least, I liked his money. I always thought he was kind of stupid paying that much for a low rate whore like you. I mean, you'd give it up for free if I let you." Hansol looked him up and down. "Take that hoodie off."

Ten did as he was told, unzipping the jacket and letting it fall off of his shoulder. He knew Hansol liked to see what a mess he'd made of his skin. 

"But it's you - you're the stupid one." Ten shrunk in on himself as Hansol stared at his arms. "You actually had a chance here, a chance to pay me back and you've thrown it all away. And for what? Is his cock really that good, Yongqin? Can you not get enough? Did he fuck you in his bed? Make you feel wanted? Make it feel like you were his boyfriend and that he loved you? Did you suck him off in the kitchen after a morning coffee? Did he make you feel special?"

Ten kept his eyes trained on the floor. He wished Hansol would just get on with it - whatever he was going to do to Ten for disobeying him. 

"Because you're not. And while I love the money you make off of him, I don't like the way he treats you. I don't want him giving you any ideas, you know, that you're better than this." Hansol snapped his fingers, forcing Ten to look at him. "You can't run from me Yongqin, you know that, right? He's not your knight in shining armour. I _will_ find you."

Ten's breath shallowed. He knew that. He really did. That's why he had told Jaehyun to leave. He knew no one could help him, and that getting anyone else involved would only cause trouble for them. He couldn't do that to Jaehyun. 

"So, what do you have to say for yourself?"

"I'm sorry."

"For…?"

"F-For leaving without permission. For going out with him when you told me not to."

"And?"

Ten furrowed his eyebrows a little, not quite sure what Hansol was getting at. Or why he was being so...calm. 

"You know," Hansol sat back in his chair, taking another puff, "I had a really nice night planned for us. I had been thinking about your lips around my cock all day and then… Tou were nowhere to be found. How do you think that made me feel, Ten?"

Hansol clicked his fingers again, pointing at the ground in front of him, and Ten knew exactly what to do. He scurried over, kneeling down in front of Hansol. He could feel himself shaking, but he tried his hardest to control it. Tried his hardest to not give off how terrified he was. 

"You've always been my favourite. But you know that, don't you?" Hansol pressed his thumb to Ten's lips, dragging the bottom on down to expose his teeth. "And that's why you think you can get away with doing whatever you want."

"I don't! I just-"

Tears stung Ten's eyes as a palm came into contact with his cheek. He wanted to cry out in pain but he knew better than to do that. 

_"Don't_ fucking talk back to me." 

Ten whimpered as Hansol grabbed his face, forcing him to look up at him, head tilted to the side to show off the hickey on his neck. 

"I don't like him marking you." Ten shuddered as Hansol's thumb rubbed over the bruise. He wanted to tell Hansol that it wasn't Jaehyun, that he hadn't done it, but he wasn't sure what would get him in more trouble - speaking up or letting Hansol know he'd fucked someone else and hadn't got paid for it. So he kept quiet. "I think you're forgetting who it is you belong to, Yongqin."

Ten cried out as something burnt into his neck. He had been too terrified of breaking eye contact with Hansol he hadn't registered him stubbing out his cigarette - right on the bite mark on his neck. 

Hansol held him in place, smirking until the butt was well and truly out, until the mark had been replaced with one of his own. Much better. 

But he slapped Ten again for good measure, for crying out when he shouldn't have. He knew he was meant to stay quiet no matter what Hansol threw at him. Not that it made a difference. It's not like anyone would dare come and save him. 

He fisted into Ten's hair, not caring if he pulled any of it out. He only looked better when he was all bruised and bloody, anyway. It suited him; the worthless look. Especially when his cheeks were streaked with tears like they were now. 

It only got him harder. 

And it was time for Ten to make up for what he missed out on last night. 

Hansol undid his belt with one hand, the other keeping Ten's head in place as he shook it furiously. He didn't want this. He didn't want to do this. He knew disobeying was only going to get him into more trouble but he _really_ didn't want to do this. 

"Don't you fucking shake your head at me." Hansol growled, whipping his belt off. 

It was around Ten's neck in no time. He wasn't even sure how Hansol managed to move so fast, but- He knew what leather around his neck felt like. 

And he knew what gasping for air felt like as Hansol pulled, the belt tightening, buckle cold against tens skin. 

"After that little stunt you pulled last night I think this is the least you can do."

The tears streamed down tens face as Hansol pulled him forwards, cheek bashing against his knee as he let out a pathetic, strangled cry, hands flying out in front of him in an attempt to keep himself upright. 

He had fucked up. Massively. He never should have disobeyed. He never should have left or tried to enjoy himself because he didn't deserve it. And now he'd made everything so much worse for himself. 

He had no way out. 

He actually wished Hansol would just do it - that he'd tighten the belt to the point he couldn't breathe anymore. Until his lungs gave out from gasping and his heart stopped pumping blood around his body. He just wished it would end. 

"So, why don't you do what you do best..." Ten squeezed his eyes shut as he heard Hansol unzip his fly. "And start making it up to me?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are always greatly appreciated!! pls let me know what u thought ♡  
> feel free to follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/lowkeyamen) or send me any questions etc on [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/lowkeyamen)  
> thank u for reading!


	7. leather belt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the last chapter was left on a pretty dangerous cliffhanger right??? what's gonna happen?
> 
> there's a lot going on in this chapter but maybe there's a glimmer of hope in the air 🥺
> 
> TW //  
> sexual abuse  
> mentions of child abuse   
> drugs  
> sex slavery

Jaehyun pushed his way through a door. He had wanted to follow Ten straight away, to grab him and run because he just had this feeling in the pit of his stomach that something awful was going to happen. But there was a security guard loitering around, chatting with one of the dancers. Jaehyun was pretty sure the guy wouldn't have noticed either way if he had tried to sneak in, considering he was clearly distracted if the way he was slapping the stripper's ass was anything to go by, but he didn't want to risk it. 

He wouldn't be much help to Ten if he got thrown out, would he? 

So he bided his time, nervous energy flowing through his veins as he tried to keep himself composed. Tried not to think about what Ten might be going through. 

Until _finally_ the stripper pulled the bouncer off into some other room. Thank fuck this guy prioritised getting off over his job. 

He slipped through the door he'd seen Ten and his boss go through, heart in his throat as he made his way down a corridor. This place was a fucking maze, he hadn't expected there to be so much going on behind the scenes. 

He tried a couple of doors, pulse racing as he jiggled the handles, only to find they were locked. Fuck. He hoped to god Ten wasn't in any of those rooms - that he couldn't get to him. 

Jaehyun honestly wasn't sure what his plan of action was, hell, he didn't even know what to expect. Was he going to have to fight? He'd never thrown a punch in his life! 

He tried a third door, that one opening to show what looked like some kind of storage room or something. He didn't pay much attention. Ten wasn't there so he didn't care. 

That's when he heard something. The unmistakable sound of skin hitting skin. His gut was telling him that's where Ten was. 

Jaehyun tried to follow the sound while staying as quiet as he could, scared someone else would find him before he got to Ten. His stomach twisted as he heard a strangled cry. He knew it was Ten. He just knew it. 

And it was coming from behind that door. 

He took a deep breath, not knowing what the fuck he was getting himself into here, but the adrenaline was coursing through his veins and he just- 

He threw all of his weight against the door, expecting it to be bolted shut, only for it to fly open. He stumbled into the room, narrowly missing falling on his face. 

He was met with a growl as Ten's boss saw him. 

"What the fuck are you doing here?"

Jaehyun's heartbeat heavy in his chest. Hansol had something wrapped around his hand... what the fuck was that? It looked leather. Some kind of leash or something? And he- He could see a pair of feet poking out from behind the desk, ankles clad in grey sweatpants... _His_ sweatpants. Ten. 

"W-What are you doing to him?"

Hansol smirked, cocky as ever. 

"It's more a question of what is he doing to me, Jaehyun. And the answer is his job. You wanna come see?"

Hansol pulled at the makeshift leash - causing Ten to choke around his cock, making it more than obvious to Jaehyun what was going on. 

"Stop it! Y-You're hurting him."

"And?" Hansol scoffed as if he gave a fuck. "I can do what I want with him. He's mine."

Hansol yanked Ten's head back, giving him a chance to gasp for air. He pushed him back a little with his foot, so Jaehyun could see him from behind the desk.

"Tell him."

Ten stayed quiet, terrified of looking at Jaehyun. He didn't want him to see him like this. 

"Tell. Him." Hansol glowered, forcing Ten's head to turn and look at Jaehyun. He wanted the model to see what a mess his precious Yongqin was; eyes wet with tears, lips bright red from being stretched around Hansol's cock. He wanted Jaehyun to know exactly what Ten was. 

"I-" Ten's voice was weak and hoarse, but he tried his hardest to speak up, knowing it's what Hansol wanted. "I belong to him."

Jaehyun's eyebrows furrowed as he tried to piece this together. It seemed so wrong... Ten was crying, he was... being _choked_ , but- He had heard of people being into that, Jungwoo had mentioned maybe wanting to try something like that. N-Not with a belt, but... And while he knew there was something awful going on here he needed to check. 

"Like… He's your boyfriend?"

Hansol threw his head back as he laughed. Jesus fucking Christ. 

"You can't possibly be that naive, Jaehyun." Hansol let Ten go with a push, causing the younger to fall to the floor. He saw Jaehyun make a move to help him, cutting him off with nothing more than a threatening look. 

He tucked himself back into his pants, not really one for an audience, and stood up, pushing Ten out of the way with a nudge of his shoe as he rounded his desk. 

"He belongs to me, because I own him, Jaehyun. He's mine."

"You can't just _own_ people."

"Oh? You can't?" Hansol quirked an eyebrow as he leaned up against his desk. "Yongqin? Why don't you get off the floor and explain."

"Hansol…" Ten's voice was barely above a whisper as he pushed himself up onto his knees. He didn't- He didn't want Jaehyun to know that. Why hadn't he just left like Ten had told him to? Why would he get himself involved in this mess? 

"Okay, let me rephrase that." Hansol started, since Ten clearly didn't understand that was a command disguised as a question. "Get up here and tell him why I own your little whore ass or your boyfriend will need to buy himself a new set of teeth."

Ten pulled himself up on shaky legs, knowing Hansol's threats weren't to be taken lightly. He took a few steps forwards, eyes trained on the ground as the buckle of the belt still jangled around his neck. 

"He- I'm his because… I owe him. A lot and- Until I pay him back I'm his-" Ten took a deep breath. He hated this word. "Property."

Jaehyun's face dropped. _Property?_ Hansol was treating Ten like he was _property?_

"A-Are you serious?"

"Deadly." Hansol grinned, standing so he could loop an arm around Ten's shoulders. The younger flinched, before remembering his place and leaning into him ever so slightly. It made Jaehyun feel sick. "You're my little slave, aren't you Chittaphon?"

Jaehyun didn't know what that word meant, but he didn't like the way Ten was visibly shaking. Slave? What the fuck was wrong with this guy? He knew that someone had been hurting Ten, abusing him, but he didn't think it would have been to this extent. 

"So, until he pays me back every last penny, I get to do whatever I want with him." Hansol smirked at Jaehyun, grabbing the loose end of the belt and tightening it around Ten's neck again, just because he could. "Except you're never going to pay me back because you keep fucking me over. Isn't that right, slave?"

Ten nodded shallowly. 

"It's a real shame he snuck out with you last night, Jaehyun. He was actually beginning to make a dent in his debt, thanks to you." Jaehyun's chest tightened, Ten wouldn't even look at him. "He's been raking it in since you came along. Then again, no one else is stupid enough to pay ten times the amount he's worth."

Ten squeezed his eyes shut as Hansol's fingers combed through his hair. 

"But now you'll never be able to pay it back cause you're not allowed to see your little sugar daddy anymore. You'll have to find someone else to bleed dry." Hansol gazed over at Jaehyun, lips quirked up at the hurt on his face.

Taeyong and Jungwoo were right… Ten had just been using him.

"Oh come on, Jaehyun. You can't actually think he liked you. You were just an open wallet to him."

"N-No, that's not tr-" Ten started, eyes wide as he looked up at Jaehyun. He didn't want him to think that. He really did like spending time with him. 

But of course Hansol cut him off, belt tightening around his neck to hold him in place while a fist connected with his right eye. 

"Did I say you could fucking talk?"

Ten spluttered, trying his hardest to catch his breath, knees buckling, fingers pulling at the leather to no avail, he wasn't as strong as Hansol; he'd never get it off. 

But then it loosened. He collapsed to the floor, gasping for breath, blurry eyes barely able to make out the shapes in front of him. Were- Were Hansol and Jaehyun fighting? 

Jaehyun had lunged forward, throwing his full weight against Hansol. He wasn't a fighter, he didn't really know what to do but in this kind of situation, but he knew he had to get the man off of Ten. He couldn't _breathe._

"Jaehyun!" Ten cried out, voice cracking from his windpipe being crushed. He couldn't let Jaehyun do this. He couldn't risk Jaehyun getting hurt because of him. "Don-"

But it was too late; he let out a high pitched squeal as Hansol headbutted him, sending Jaehyun flying. 

Ten scrambled to his feet, to run over to Jaehyun, to see if he was okay, maybe even to protect him. He'd shield him with his body or something because he really didn't care what Hansol would do to him - he'd probably endured worse in the past anyway, but he didn't want him to hurt Jaehyun. Oh god, why hadn't he just left? 

"Don't you dare." Ten stopped in his tracks as Hansol spoke up, voice steady. It was like he was frozen, scared to move a muscle. He wanted to be with Jaehyun, he wanted to... But he couldn't. He was already in enough trouble. 

"Get up, Jaehyun." Hansol dusted his hands off, turning to go back to his desk. He wasn't in the mood for a full blown fight tonight. "And get the fuck out of my club."

Jaehyun pressed the heel of his hand to his eyebrow. Fuck. He hadn't been hit like that in a long time… But he couldn't dwell on those memories right now. He- He had to do something. 

So he stood up, head banging as he did so. He stood up, just like Hansol had asked, but he wasn't going to leave. Not without Ten. 

"How much does he owe you?"

Hansol turned back, eyeing Jaehyun up. The kid had guts, he'd give him that. 

"Why does it matter?"

"Just… Tell me."

Hansol scoffed. "Go on, Yongqin. Tell him."

Ten swallowed. Why did Jaehyun want to know? What difference was it going to make? Hansol said he couldn't see him again, he couldn't pay to spend time with him again... and why would he want to? After everything...

"Yongqin."

"Seventeen grand."

Jaehyun's jaw dropped. _Seventeen...? How?_

"Seventeen thousand, three-hundred and forty-seven pounds. Actually. For now. My interest rates are pretty high."

Ten sniffled, trying his hardest not to break down in tears. He- He never wanted Jaehyun to know any of this. He never wanted to put him in this position. He never wanted to use him... But he had no choice. It was the only option he had and- It was stupid, though. He'd never be able to pay that amount back; no matter how many times Jaehyun came to see him. He should have let him go a long time ago. Then he wouldn't be in this mess. He wouldn't have got hurt or-

"I'll get you it."

_What?_

"Jaehyun…" Ten whimpered. He couldn't be serious. 

"You want to buy him off me, pretty boy?" Hansol quirked an eyebrow, interest peaked. He had to admit he liked having Ten around, liked having someone he could exercise so much power over. But he was more trouble than he was worth most of the time

Jaehyun tried not to flinch. He _hated_ when people called him that. 

"You can't just _buy_ people." He bit back. "But I'll pay it. If you let him go, I'll pay it."

Ten gaped. No. He couldn't-

"Jaehyun!" He hissed, not sure why. Hansol could clearly hear him. "You can't- Please. Don't. I'm handling this."

"Ten." Jaehyun held his hand up, a signal to be quiet. He wasn't going to be talked out of this. "I'll pay it. All of it. But you leave him alone. He doesn't work here. You don't _own_ him. He has nothing to do with you anymore."

Hansol considered the offer for a moment, looking Ten up and down before shrugging. Fuck it, he could get another plaything. He wanted his money.

"Fine. Deal. If you want him that bad take him. But I want the money by tomorrow night. Or…" Hansol trailed off, he felt like Jaehyun would stick to his word, he seemed like one of those genuinely honest do-gooders. It was pathetic, but... He was getting seventeen grand out of him so he didn't really care. But he threw in a threat anyway, just to really get his point across. "That pretty little face of yours won't be so pretty anymore." 

Jaehyun nodded curtly. He would get that money… Somehow. He had to. 

But right now he had to get Ten out of here. 

"Come on." He loosened the belt around Ten's neck, trying his hardest not to hurt him. He was shaking, face damp with tears. 

He laced his fingers with Ten's, not bothering to look back at Hansol as he led him out of the room. He didn't want to drag Ten off, didn't want to scare him any more than he already was, but they needed to get out of here before Hansol changed his mind. 

Ten followed Jaehyun, not quite sure what had just happened. This couldn't be real, right? He must have passed out when Hansol was choking him. This was all just some lucid dream. Something he wanted so badly but couldn't ever have. Maybe he'd died and this was some kind of fantastical afterlife… 

But as soon as they were outside, as soon as the cold air hit him he realised that wasn't this case. This was real. Very real. 

"Jaehyun, what the fuck?" Ten pulled his hand away, eyes stinging. "Why did you do that?"

"I had to."

"No you didn't! You- You shouldn't have done that!" Ten's lungs felt tight. As if he couldn't catch his breath. "You bought me."

"I didn't _buy you,_ Ten." Jaehyun raked his fingers through his hair. Did Ten seriously think that's what this was? That now Jaehyun was going to use him as some kind of sex slave? He was trying to save him. "I'm paying him off. How do you even-" Jaehyun stopped himself. He didn't want to know how you could end up owing someone that amount of money. "The least you could do is be grateful."

Ten blanched. "Is that why you did this? Because you want me and now I owe you? I'm yours now, aren't I?" Jaehyun had just done this to look like some kind of saviour. Ten couldn't possibly say no to being with him after this. The guy had just bought him for over seventeen thousand pounds. 

"Of course not!" Jesus. Ten was… He was really fucked up, wasn't he? Jaehyun had seen in the past that Ten didn't take too well to kind gestures, that they weren't what he was used to, and now he could see why. The way he'd been treated… It was no wonder he was sceptical. "You're not anyone's. You're a _human being,_ Ten. You don't belong to anyone. I just- I couldn't leave you with him. He was- He was hurting you! He was… Forcing himself on you."

Ten's breath shuddered as he shook his head, eyes stinging. How was this happening? Why would Jaehyun - why would _anyone -_ do that for him? 

"Seventeen grand…" He whispered to himself. Jaehyun had _wasted_ seventeen grand on him. He wasn't worth it. He wasn't worth anywhere near that amount. 

"It's fine, I can afford it."

Ten could see it in Jaehyun's eyes. That wasn't true. At all. 

"No you can't! You shouldn't have-" Ten couldn't hold back the tears anymore as sobs wracked through his body. This was so completely out of his comfort zone he didn't know what to do. Didn't know what to say. "Why didn't you just leave like I told you to? You shouldn't even have been here! You shouldn't have done that! You should have just gone home, Jaehyun! And now- He hurt you and he's going to do it again and it's all my fault and-"

"Hey, shhh." Jaehyun placed a calming hand on Ten's shoulder, trying not to feel too offended as the elder flinched away. He had been through a lot. "I'll get it. Don't worry about me."

"But I don't want anything to happen to you." Ten's voice was barely above a whisper. He wasn't great at admitting to his feelings, but… It was true. He would never be able to forgive himself if anything bad happened to Jaehyun. This was _his_ mess.

"It's not, okay? I'm gonna be fine. I'll get him the money and then… You're free. You don't have to go back to him. I promise."

Ten let out a choked sob. That didn't seem right. It couldn't be. He couldn't just be free after all those years. He- 

What was he going to do? He didn't know anything else… How was he going to pay his rent? Why the fuck was that his main concern when Jaehyun had just done this huge, selfless thing for him? When he had saved him? 

"Jae- I-" Ten's forehead fell forwards against Jaehyun's chest. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know how he was meant to feel. This was all so overwhelming and he was terrified of giving in and allowing himself to be happy or relieved because he still didn't quite believe it. He didn't want to get his hopes up in case something really did happen. 

"Come here." Jaehyun whispered into dark hair, arms wrapping around the smaller boy as he slumped against him, sobbing into his shirt. "I'm gonna get a taxi, make sure you get home safe."

Ten's heart dropped at the thought of being alone. Hansol was going to come get him he just knew it. He knew where he lived. He wasn't going to stick to his word. There was no way. He wanted to- But Jaehyun had already done so much for him… He couldn't. 

But… 

"C-Can I stay at yours?" The request was feeble, spoken into damp cotton, scared to admit he couldn't cope. It was a surprise Jaehyun even heard him. "I don't… I don't want to be alone."

"Of course you can, darling."

✧ ✦ ✧

Ten woke up with a pair of arms wrapped around his waist. This time it felt right. He could smell Jaehyun; feel the warmth of the younger next to him. 

But he couldn't shift this sickly feeling from the pit of his stomach. Guilt. 

His head was banging as memories from the night before bounced around it. Leather wrapped around his neck, Hansol's cock forced down his throat, Jaehyun saw him like that… In that state. he knew what he was. And Jaehyun got hurt. He- He wasted all of that money making up for Ten's mistakes and- What if he couldn't deliver? What if Hansol hurt him again? And it would be much worse than a headbutt this time. He'd- Ten didn't even think about what Hansol would do to him. 

He rolled over, hesitantly, hoping Jaehyun was still asleep. 

But no such luck. The model was staring back at him with a concerned smile on his face. 

"Hey."

Ten smiled back, meekly. "Hi."

"How are you feeling?"

"I- I don't know." Ten couldn't lie. He was feeling so many different things he didn't know what to do with himself. He wasn't used to it. He tended to just block everything out the best he could. "Y-"

Ten's fingers grazed against Jaehyun's brow bone, making the younger wince a little. It made him sick. 

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For getting you caught up in my mess. For this." Ten traced his fingers around the lump that was beginning to form, and no doubt leave a massive bruise. "For everything."

"I got myself caught up in that mess, you told me to leave, remember?"

"And you should have." Ten's voice was tight. He wasn't going to cry again. He just couldn't. 

"I knew something was wrong… And I was right. I couldn't just leave you."

"But why?" Ten whispered. He just couldn't wrap his head around it. Why the fuck would Jaehyun put himself in that position? Why would he risk everything when he had a career and two boyfriends and he was _happy._ Why would he risk getting caught up in something dodgy because of him?

"Because I told you, I care about you."

Ten swallowed. He- He really did, didn't he? After everything. After Ten had stormed out on him yesterday morning, after he had treated him like shit. After he'd been using him for months. He still cared. 

Enough to blow seventeen grand. 

"H-How are you going to get the money?" Ten didn't want to sound rude or to pry, but...he knew Hansol. "You shouldn't have told him that- He _will_ come after you, Jaehyun. You should have just left me. I'm not worth all of th-"

"I have savings." Savings he had been hoping to put a deposit down on a house for… Taeyong absolutely hated living here. Their apartment was tiny, nowhere near big enough for three people. Jaehyun's room could barely fit a double bed in it, never mind any furniture. And their other room wasn't much better. They were struggling and they wanted a place they could call their own. 

But that could wait. 

This was more important. 

"I'll get one of those payday loans."

Ten's stomach dropped. The interest in those things were insane. He _knew_ Jaehyun couldn't afford that. Look where he lived for God's sake. He clearly didn't just have seventeen grand lying about. 

"No- You can't- I can't let you do that."

"Ten." Jaehyun brushed a few stray stands of dark hair out of the elder's eyes. "I have plenty of jobs lined up. We can afford it. It'll be fine."

Ten's eyes unfocused as he stared at the lump on Jaehyun's brow. He was pretty sure he wouldn't be able to do many shoots with that. Never mind if Hansol has his way with him. 

Wait. 

Did he say _we?_

"Who's we?"

"Me, Taeyong and Jungwoo."

Ten gaped, sitting up straight, ignoring the way his head pounded. 

"No- There's no way." Taeyong and Jungwoo? He didn't even know them. He'd spoken to Taeyong for all of seven minutes. He couldn't let him give up their money for him. "I can't ask them to do that!"

"You're not asking." Jaehyun sat up too, mirroring Ten's movement.

He had told Taeyong and Jungwoo what was going on last night after Ten cried himself to sleep, the noise waking them up. They were disgusted - both of them. And Taeyong insisted they would help. He didn't have a whole lot of money himself, being a student with a little part time job and all, but he couldn't let Ten go back there. He knew all too well what it was like to be under someone else's control.

"We're telling you. We're paying this money. There's no way I can see you go back there, Ten. He's not going to hurt you anymore."

Ten wiped a tear away with the back of his hand. Hansol wasn't going to hurt him anymore... He...How the fuck had he gotten so lucky? How had he stumbled across not one, but three completely selfless people that would be willing to do this for him? He didn't even realise people like this existed. He was used to them being all take. Just taking whatever they wanted from him, whether he consented or not. 

"Thank you." He whispered, realising he hadn't said it before now. He just couldn't believe it- didn't want to think it was real because what if something changed and then- No. he couldn't think about that right now. His head was already spinning. 

"I'll pay you back. All of it, I promise. Everything, all of the money you spent on me." Ten knew he was just jumping from one person to the next, that he was still in bed with someone he owed seventeen grand, but Jaehyun had to be better than Hansol. Surely. "And- I'm so sorry for that, I didn't want to... _use_ you but he gave me no choice and the debt just kept going up and I didn't know what to do and-"

"Hey." Jaehyun pulled Ten into another hug. He was so fragile. He knew Ten hated that word and he wouldn't make the mistake of saying it aloud again, but he was. And it was no surprise, really, considering everything he had been through. "I've told you, you have nothing to apologise for."

It did hurt that Ten had been using him all this time, that maybe none of the conversations they'd had up until now were real, but after what he witnessed last night, it was more than obvious that none of this was Ten's choice. 

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Ten made a weak little whining noise against Jaehyun's t-shirt. He didn't, but… He felt like he at least owed Jaehyun that. He had saved his life. He was spending so much money just to make sure Ten had his freedom. He was just a little worried that if Jaehyun knew how he had ended up in this mess to start with he'd change his mind. 

Because he'd brought it all on himself. 

"You're gonna think I'm an idiot."

"I won't, I just want to try and help you. You- You've clearly been through a lot. How did you end up there, Ten?"

Ten's chest tightened as he thought about it. He'd never told anyone his story before. No one had ever cared enough to ask. He wasn't sure how he felt about saying it all aloud, but… There was something about Jaehyun. Ten trusted him. He felt like if he was going to tell anyone, it would be him. 

"My parents never wanted me." He figured he might as well start at the beginning if he was going to spill his guts. There was no point in only telling Jaehyun dribs and drabs, not now. He didn't have anything to hide anymore. 

"I'm from Thailand, grew up there. My Dad was… He was abusive. I was never the son he wanted." Ten scoffed. The only reason they had kids is because they wanted a son to carry on in his father's footsteps, to take over the family farming business. But Ten couldn't think of anything worse, and from a young age it was clear that Ten was never going to be that son. "I was born premature and weak and- Well, I just never lived up to his standards and he made that clear. They wished they'd never had me. So I left."

Jaehyun made a small noise of acknowledgement, signalling that he was listening and wanted Ten to carry on. He didn't want to ask any questions. Didn't want to push anything. This was the most he had heard about Ten's life in the six or so months he'd known him. The only thing he'd actually revealed to Jaehyun in the past was his real name. 

"I stole a bunch of their money and came here. They didn't even care. I had an auntie who lived just outside of London so I lived with her for a while. But it didn't last." Ten sighed. That was the last actual home he'd had. "She found out I like boys and that was it. Kicked me out. I had to leave school and-"

"School? How old were you?"

"Fifteen."

"Oh my god." Jaehyun squeezed Ten just that little bit tighter. Fifteen? He was only fifteen when he was cast out onto the streets? 

Was that- Was that when all of this started? 

"I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault." Ten never understood why people apologised for something that had nothing to do with them. "I still had some money from my parents so I managed to get somewhere to live, but I didn't have much left and needed money so… I ended up selling drugs."

Jaehyun's heart rate slowed a little. He wasn't pro-drug in any sense, he had seen first-hand what they did to people, but thank god Ten wasn't selling anything else at that age. 

"That's when I made the biggest mistake of my life. It seemed like a good idea at the time. I thought I'd be able to get away with it and I'd have this extra money. I wanted to move to a different city, somewhere cheaper. And I was almost sixteen so I'd be able to get a real job and maybe go back to school without having to explain why I didn't have any adults, but…"

Ten's breath shuddered a little. He was rambling to avoid telling Jaehyun the truth. 

"That's how I ended up owing him so much money."

"Hansol? Was he who you dealt drugs for?"

Ten nodded. Things had started out rather innocently with him and Hansol - ig you could consider a teenager dealing drugs innocent. Ten did, in comparison to everything that followed.

"I stole stuff from him, thinking it could sell it myself. Thinking he'd never even notice." Ten scoffed, eyes stinging. God he was a fucking idiot. "I stole eight grands worth of cocaine from him."

Jaehyun drew back a little. He what? _Eight thousand pounds worth?_ In what world has he ever imagined that was a good idea?

"Jesus, Ten."

"I know! I know it was- Fuck. I was so fucking naive, like, it didn't even seem like that big of a deal and- It didn't look like that much! God, I dunno. I thought I'd get away with it. I thought I'd sell it and be gone before he even realised."

But he hadn't. Shifting that much coke on his own had been a lot harder than he anticipated. Especially at fifteen. There weren't many clubs he could sneak into. 

"But then I got caught. I got arrested and he bailed me out."

Hansol bailed him out? After Ten had stolen from him? Why would he do that? 

"I couldn't understand why at first, I thought he would have wanted me dead. But… I couldn't make him his money back if I was dead."

Jaehyun's stomach dropped, sensing what was coming. 

"From then on he said I owed him. I owed him for the drug money, and the bail and- There was only one way I could pay him back."

"Ten…" Jaehyun started. If he didn't want to continue on, that was totally fine. Jaehyun got the picture. He wasn't sure he wanted to hear, if he was being perfectly honest.

"It was two weeks before my sixteenth birthday when he first-" Ten's voice caught in the back of his throat as the tears began to fall. "When he made me-"

"Hey, it's okay." Jaehyun shushed him, rocking Ten back and forth gently. He was minutes away from completely breaking down. "You don't have to say it."

"It's been nearly six years and he-" Ten whispered into Jaehyun's chest. Six years he had been subject to abuse from the man who claimed to own him. The man whom he owed so much money to, that number only increasing over the years as Hansol added ridiculous amounts of interest on, knowing Ten would never ever be able to pay him back. He was trapped. Completely. 

But now… He wasn't. If Jaehyun really could come up with the money to pay Hansol off, then he was free. No more gangbangs disguised as parties. No more nights spent in that dingy strip club. No more unwanted hands all over his body. No more being forced to sleep with people against his will. No more sick sexual desires. 

He was free. 

He could just be a normal person. 

"He's gone now." Jaehyun whispered into Ten's hair. It was going to be a struggle for them to pay that amount of money, but they had to make it happen. Jaehyun couldn't let Ten go back to that life. He was just a kid when- God, it knocked him sick. How anyone could do that to another person. 

He had to do everything he could to protect Ten from Hansol. To help him rebuild his life. 

"He's not coming back. I'll make sure of it."

Ten let himself cry into Jaehyun's chest; again. He let himself give into the warmth of the model and just appreciate it. He'd never had anything like this before. He just needed to be held. He needed to be told it was all going to be okay. 

Which was exactly what Jaehyun did. He whispered words of encouragement, words of reassurance into Ten's hair as he rocked him back and forth gently. 

He'd have to leave a little later on to deliver Hansol the money like he'd promised, but until then, he planned on holding Ten as he cried out the past six years of suffering. 

"It's gonna be okay, I promise."


	8. colour correction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> back again! ten's finally escaped hansols clutches 🥺 maybe things will be on the up 👀 hopefully 👀 eventually 👀 let's hope so anyway!! ten deserves a little peace and calm in his life 💖

Ten chewed at the side of his nail, ignoring the way his thumb bled because he had gone too deep. He was too nervous to care. 

"You want some stir fry?" He heard a voice calling from the kitchen, distracting him from his thoughts. 

"I'm okay thanks." 

"You haven't eaten all day." Jungwoo sighed, hands resting on the back of the sofa where Ten was curled up in a ball. "You're worried, aren't you?"

Ten nodded. Of course he was. 

"Don't be. They'll sort it."

It was well past midnight. Jaehyun and Taeyong had gone down to Hansol's strip club over an hour ago with a gym bag full of money. Jaehyun had wanted to go alone, not wanting either of his boyfriends to get caught up in this, but Taeyong insisted he was going with him. He couldn't let Jaehyun go see someone he knew was dangerous by himself. He had to make sure no one would take advantage of him. 

The three of them had spent all day scraping together whatever funds they could. Emptying their savings accounts, ringing work for an advance on their pay check, applying for short term loans to make up the difference. Jaehyun had even had to borrow money from his mother because the bank wouldn't let him take that much cash out at once without prior notice. They had put themselves in debt to a company charging insane interest rates for nothing because they couldn't withdraw it in time. 

Ten had never felt so guilty. These people he barely even knew were going out of their way to help him out and all he could do was sit back and watch. He couldn't even contribute more than a couple of hundred himself. Money he had been saving up for god knows what. He knew he'd never be able to pay Hansol off so he had started putting his money away for something else. Maybe to run away or something. Again. 

He had taken so much from them already - he couldn't eat their food too. They'd done enough for him. 

"What if..." Ten was terrified this was all too good to be true. They'd been away so long. This should have been a simple exchange. What if something had happened? What if Hansol has changed his mind? He wouldn't put it past him. At all. 

He hugged his knees closer to himself. He was scared to even say it - worried it would freak Jungwoo out. He didn't know Hansol like Ten did. 

"I just don't want anything to happen to them...you've all been so nice to me and-"

"It won't." Ten flinched as Jungwoo's fingers stroked through his hair, the younger uttering out a 'sorry'. "They'll be fine. I'm gonna plate you some food up, anyway. Okay?"

The two of them ate in near silence. Ten didn't understand how Jungwoo could be so calm. How he could be so okay with all of this. 

His boyfriend had spent all of their savings and put them in an impossible situation just to help out some guy he had a crush on. Some prostitute that had been using him for his own personal gain for months. That had never once shown him a scrap of real affection. 

And Jungwoo was more than happy to cook for him. To sacrifice his hard earned money. To let his boyfriends go off into the unknown. 

Ten didn't get it. 

He wasn't sure he would ever understand human kindness. 

Ten's ears pricked up as the front door clicked shut. They were back. Oh god please let them be okay. 

Jungwoo's calm demeanour slipped as he jumped out of his seat, just as apprehensive as Ten was. Had he been hiding how worried he was this whole time just to make Ten feel better? 

"Oh my god! You're back!" Jungwoo wrapped his arms around Taeyong, pulling him in close to his chest before inspecting his face, hands either side of his cheeks. Not a scratch. "How did it go?"

Jungwoo let go of Taeyong only to suction himself to Jaehyun. He was so happy they were both home safe. 

"It was fine." Jaehyun hugged Jungwoo back, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "He made us wait while he counted every single penny."

"And then it wasn't enough." Taeyong scoffed, arms folded across his chest. Now he had met Hansol in person he knew they had done the right thing. The things he had been saying about Ten… they were disgusting. Even thinking about him sent chills up Taeyong's spine. "He took so long counting he added interest. Since it was after midnight."

"He what?" Ten's heart raced. It didn't surprise him that much. Hansol was always adding onto his debt for absolutely no reason. But they didn't have any more money...

"It's fine." Jaehyun assured him, arms still loose around Jungwoo's waist. "I sorted it. I gave him my watch. It was worth a couple of hundred."

"The one your Mom gave you?" Jungwoo pulled back. He knew that gift meant a lot to Jaehyun. It was engraved and everything. 

"It's fine. I can get another one. It's just stuff."

Ten felt another pang of guilt in his chest, right where his heart was. He felt awful. He didn't deserve any of this. 

"Are you okay?"

Ten hadn't even realised how close Taeyong had gotten to him. He nodded, as if on autopilot, not wanting to seem ungrateful or anything. 

"He's not going to hurt you anymore. You're safe with us now."

Ten's stomach twisted. With them? What did that mean? 

"A-Are you sure, because he-"

"He's not coming back Ten. Trust me." Jaehyun wasn't going to divulge all of the things Hansol had said about Ten, but he was sure he wasn't going to bother coming back for him. Ten meant absolutely nothing to him. Hansol didn't even see him as human. He had his money, that was all he wanted. 

"I-" Ten didn't know what to say. This didn't feel real. How could this nightmare be over just like that? "Thank you...really. You didn't have to and-"

He sniffled. He was so fucking sick of crying. 

But maybe it could stop now... Maybe. 

"I'll pay you all back, I promise. I-I don't know how, I don't even have a job anymore. I have no idea how I'm gonna pay my rent or-" Ten laughed bitterly at the idea that he might actually be worse off without that job... If he could even call it that. But he really had no income. No money at all, he had given it all to Hansol... Fuck. 

Maybe this nightmare wasn't over. 

"But," his eyes stung because he knew fine well what he had to do, the only thing he could do, "I _will_ pay you back, I promise. I'll get some new clients. I- I guess I can charge more now and-"

"You... You want to go back to that?"

Ten looked up at Jaehyun. His eyes weren't full of judgement like Ten thought they would be. He just looked worried. 

"Well, what else am I going to do?"

"We can help you find a job, right?" Jungwoo smiled softly. 

"I- I don't think... I can. I don't know... How to do anything else." Jesus Christ that made him sound so stupid. But it was true. All he had done for the past six years was sell himself. "Who would hire me?"

"I'm sure we can help you find something."

Ten shook his head. "It's okay, really. I don't mind... It's what I do best."

The three of them could see straight through the shallow little laugh Ten let out as he tried to play this off as it was nothing. It was obvious he didn't want to go back to that life, he just felt like he didn't have a choice. 

"Don't worry about the money, okay?" Jaehyun sat down next to Ten on the sofa, taking a tiny hand in his own. "We're gonna help you get back on your feet. We can help you apply for jobs and interviews and-"

"You really don't have to." That was all very sweet, but... "You've done enough already. I- I've caused enough trouble you don't have to look after me. Plus my rent is due next week. It's quicker this way."

Jaehyun frowned a little. 

"I just...I don't want you doing anything you don't want to."

"Jaehyun, it's fine." Ten feigned a smile. "I'm used to it."

✧ ✦ ✧

Ten had every intention of leaving the house the next evening and walking the streets, just like Hansol used to make him in the past when he was just a kid, before he even owned the club. 

He had every intention of going out there and charming the pants off of some punters. Literally. 

He had every intention of putting on that mask he had every night for the past six years and letting someone have their way with him. 

He had every intention of making the money he needed to pay his bills, as well as paying Jaehyun and his boyfriends back. 

Only, when it came down to it he realised he couldn't step out of the front door. It was dark and the idea of having to talk to anyone made his heart thump against his chest. What if he couldn't do this on his own? What if some guy had their way with him and then didn't pay? He didn't have the strength to fight anyone; at least there were _some_ rules at the club. None of them involved the workers safety, but they ensured the correct amount was always paid. And it was actually a little safer there. He had walls and a roof. He knew where he was. He wasn't going off to some sleazy hotel or some random's house where there was a chance he would never be seen again. 

And... What if Hansol came to find him? He had no idea how that would happen; Jaehyun lived in a completely different part of the city to where the club was or to Ten's own apartment. And it wasn't like he'd even been back there.

Because he hadn't even been able to bring himself to leave all day. 

He had stayed over again, it being late when Jaehyun and Taeyong got back, and then he had a lie in with an arm draped across his waist. It was the best he had slept in ages, years even. He felt like a weight had finally been lifted off of his shoulders. He could sleep knowing he didn't have to go back to that place the next night. 

But then he couldn't bring himself to leave for some reason. He was glad Jaehyun never asked him to. Never hinted at the fact he had outstayed his welcome and should probably be on his way. Because he was terrified of the idea of going back to his own place. Hansol knew where he lived. Lots of people knew where he lived. And he was scared of being on his own. Really scared. Which was weird, really, considering he'd been on his own his whole life. 

And that's how he found himself curled up in a ball on the sofa, crying into Jaehyun's chest as the younger rubbed soothing circles into his back. 

"It's okay, Ten. I told you, you don't have to do anything you don't want."

Ten only cried harder. What the fuck was wrong with him? He'd been enduring this shit for years and now he had finally escaped; _now_ he was scared? 

"You can stay as long as you need."

He gripped onto Jaehyun's shirt, terrified of letting go. 

"We're gonna help you out of this, okay?"

✧ ✦ ✧

Ten winced as he rolled over, as the sunlight streamed through the window. The bed was empty beside him, but of course it was. It was well after midday. 

He wrapped the blankets closer around himself. 

Somehow… He felt worse now than he did when he was in Hansol's clutches. At least he could get out of bed then, at least he could leave the house, because he had no choice. He had to show up to work and he had to do whatever Hansol asked of him. 

But now… He didn't have anything. 

And he hadn't left Jaehyun's apartment in over a week. 

He wasn't sure he'd ever felt this low. Sure, he'd contemplated and even attempted committing suicide in the past, but right now he wouldn't even have the energy to do it. Before he had no choice but to keep going, to at least try and make things better. But now he was just alone with his thoughts. Alone with all of those memories which had had the time to replay over and over in his mind. All day. And all night now he actually got the opportunity to sleep. 

Not that he always got any sleep. 

Ten had never had nightmares in the past. Maybe it was because his life was just one long nightmare and his brain knew the only respite he would get was when he was asleep. But recently he had found himself waking up in a cold sweat just about every night, a scream of Hansol's name on his lips. 

And he hated it. He hated it so fucking much. He hated waking Jaehyun up, and he knew fine well the walls in here were so thin he woke Jungwoo and Taeyong up too. He hated being such a liability. He had stumbled into these people's lives and now he couldn't leave them alone to get on with things and just forget about him because he couldn't even bring himself to step outside. 

He was pathetic. 

And he hated himself for it. 

He had always thought he was good at dealing with things. He'd just get on with it; take all of the sexual assaults and the beatings in his stride. But... Maybe he wasn't so good at it. Maybe he couldn't cope with this as well as he thought he could 

He should be happy. Really happy. It had been weeks since he last saw Hansol, and it was finally starting to feel real. He didn't have to go back there. He didn't have to hold back the tears as fingers pulled his thighs apart; he didn't have to sit and wait in that grotty room for whoever stepped through the door next. 

He was free. 

But he still felt so trapped. 

It was like it was all coming crashing down on him. Like he'd spent the past few years in a constant state of dissociation so he didn't have to deal with what was actually happening to him and now that he'd been removed from the situation his brain wouldn't let him forget what he'd been through. 

He wiped his eyes against the pillow. He had been trying not to cry when Jaehyun was around. He already felt awful for taking up so much of his time and giving him absolutely nothing in return. He had been conditioned to offer sex as payment, that was the only thing he really understood, but Jaehyun turned him down every time, much to Ten's relief. He wasn't ready for that. He just didn't know how else to repay him. 

He heard footsteps outside of the door, figuring he should probably get up. It would be rude not to. 

"Hey! Afternoon!" Jungwoo beamed from their kitchen table, surrounded by piles of makeup. "You okay? Want something to eat?"

Ten shook his head softly as he pulled his - well, Jaehyun's - hoodie tighter around himself. 

"I'm fine thanks. Why aren't you at work?"

"Don't have any appointments." Jungwoo shrugged. Ten was pretty sure it was a lie - the three of them had been taking it in turns to stay home and look after him. That made him feel like even more of a liability. "Thought I'd stay home and depot my lipsticks instead."

Ten's eyebrows furrowed. He had no idea what that meant. He watched for a moment as Jungwoo scooped the lipstick out of its tube, before popping it on a spoon and heating it up until it was a liquid. Kind of like heroin. 

"Wanna help?" He smiled, knowing Ten must be bored.

"Sure." Ten sat down next to Jungwoo as the younger showed him what needed to be done. He had never seen this much makeup in his life. And they were all being ruined...

"Why do you do this?" It seemed like such a waste. 

"It's more hygienic. You wouldn't want someone to put this on your lips after it's been on someone else's, right?" Jungwoo held a deep pink matte lipstick up as an example. "This way I can use a clean brush for each client."

Ten hummed to himself. He didn't think there was so much that went into makeup artistry, but this was actually kind of relaxing. Just... Melting things, pouring it into little tubs. 

"You can come along with me sometime, if you wanna get out of the house or anything." Jungwoo was starting to worry about Ten being all cooped up in here. He knew he was scared to leave, but maybe if he was with someone… "You don't have to, if you don't want, obviously. But if you want something to take your mind off things, you can be my assistant or something."

Ten smiled weakly. That was sweet. He wasn't sure he was ready to go anywhere, but it was nice to have a distraction. Maybe he should start finding stuff to occupy his time instead of just moping around. 

"I don't think it would do business much good, me turning up looking like this." His eyes were still black, shades of purple and yellow that was nowhere near as pretty as any of these lipsticks. His cheek had come up in a lovely bruise too, and it didn't seem to want to go down. He wasn't sure this was the image Jungwoo wanted to give off when he turned up at some fancy photo shoot. 

"Oh, that can easily be fixed." Jungwoo replied, digging around in his box of treats for this miracle palette he had discovered. Dark circles on models were all too common. Honestly, most of them looked half dead when they turned up on set and it was his job to make them look a little more human. He had plenty of coloured correctors in here and a couple of tricks up his sleeve to help hide Ten's bruises. Maybe that was stopping him from going outside. He didn't want people staring. "Here it is!"

Ten quirked an eyebrow as Jungwoo pulled out a brightly coloured palette. Fuchsia, orange, turquoise... What the hell was he going to do with that?

"Are you gonna give me some crazy face paint to distract from the bruises or something?"

"Oh no." Jungwoo laughed softly to himself. Though, he would kind of like to experiment on Ten, he was so pretty. Jungwoo was sure he could pull off most colours. "I'm gonna use these to cover them up! They'll completely disappear, I promise. If you want me to, that is…"

Jungwoo didn't want to cross any boundaries, he wasn't sure Ten would feel comfortable with hiding them. But… It might give him some of his confidence back. Makeup always made Jungwoo feel better. Maybe it would help Ten too. 

"Sure…" Ten was intrigued. He watched as Jungwoo scooped small amounts of the... He wasn't actually sure what they were. He assumed it had been eye shadow at first but they seemed to be creamy. Like a concealer… but in ridiculous bright colours. 

"Just let me know if it hurts, okay?" Jungwoo shuffled his chair closer to Ten, makeup brush loaded with the yellow pigment. "I'll try to be gentle."

Ten nodded softly, looking up towards the ceiling as Jungwoo got to work, it felt weird staring directly at him. He had never gotten his makeup done before, usually just smudging a little kohl under his eyes and piling on the concealer to hide any bruises, not that it really worked. He had always wondered if maybe he should invest in a better one, but he could never afford it. 

"So, how are you doing?" Ten hadn't expected Jungwoo to talk to him, for some reason...

"I'm okay."

"You sure? Cause you've been through a lot, it's understandable if you're not." Jungwoo turned back to the table to mix up a coral shade, a lot of Ten's bruising had a bluish hue to it, meaning he needed an orange to cancel it out. Colour theory blew his mind sometimes. "Have you thought about talking to someone? Like a professional?"

Ten shook his head. Never. He couldn't. He didn't see the point. It's not like they could help him, not like they could reverse time or lobotomise the memories away or anything. He didn't see the point in talking. In reliving everything. 

"I don't want to."

"Talking helps, trust me." Ten's eyes focused on Jungwoo's wrist as he pulled his sleeves up ever so slightly, trying not to get makeup on them. Were those... Scars? "God knows where I'd be without my therapist."

"But I understand if you're not ready, it can be hard. Close your eyes." Ten did as he was told, eyelids fluttering shut so Jungwoo could get to work on correcting those too. "If you don't want to talk to anyone you don't know or in a weird place, you can always talk to me." 

"I barely know you either." Ten bit down on his tongue. Jesus. That wasn't meant to one off so rude. After everything Jungwoo had done for him… "Sorry, I didn't mean it like that."

"It's okay." Jungwoo's voice was always so calm. So sweet. Ten had never been spoken to like that before. "I know we aren't that close, but I'd like to be. Some day."

"But... Why?" That didn't make any sense to Ten. He was just a guy, no, a prostitute, that was living in their house. For free. Eating their food and using their hot water and stopping them from spending time with their boyfriend because he couldn't stop breaking down. He was a waste of space, and he had to be impacting their relationship. Why would Jungwoo want to get to know him better? 

"I just like having you around. You make Jaehyun smile."

Ten didn't understand their relationship at all. 

"It's nice having an extra person. Taeyong's always studying so even if he's home I barely see him. Not properly, anyway. And Jaehyun's so busy with work. He goes away a lot too. So I like having someone else here. Makes me feel less lonely."

Ten's stomach twisted as he thought back to all of those times Jaehyun came to spend time with him while his boyfriends, especially Jungwoo, were back home missing him. 

"Listen to me rattling on about all of my first world problems." Jungwoo scoffed. Poor him, feeling lonely once in a while. That was nothing compared to what Ten had been through. "Is there anything you want to talk about?"

"Not really." Ten mumbled. He felt awful, Jungwoo was being so nice, letting him stay in his home and sleep in his boyfriend's bed and he couldn't even give him a proper conversation in return. He did appreciate it, He just wasn't ready. "Thanks, though."

"Well, I'm always here if you feel up to it. I've been told I'm a pretty good listener."

The two of them chatted about the most inane things as Jungwoo finished up Ten's face, pressing foundation into his skin with a beauty blender. Anything to keep his mind occupied. And it seemed to work, for a moment he felt kind of normal. He felt like he could breathe. 

"What..." Jungwoo took a sharp breath in, not sure whether he should ask. "What happened to your neck?"

Ten cleared his throat. Jungwoo had been blending the foundation down so it looked seamless, but... The welt on his neck looked painful. And all too familiar. 

"Cigarette burn." 

"Oh, honey." Jungwoo sighed. That explained why it looked familiar. "I probably shouldn't put any makeup on that, but you can always cover it another way. With clothes or whatever. Okay. Close your eyes again."

Ten scrunched his nose as he was sprayed with a fine mist. What the fuck was that? 

"You ready for the big reveal?"

Ten smiled softly, nodding. Jungwoo was so full of life. So excitable. Ten envied him. He wished he could be like that. 

"Follow me!" 

Jungwoo guided Ten to the bathroom, hands covering his eyes so he couldn't catch a glimpse until he was fully situated in front of the mirror. 

"You ready?"

"Yes!" Ten giggled softly, Jungwoo's enthusiasm starting to rub off on him a little. He wanted to see what he'd done. 

"Et voila!"

Ten's eyes widened as he looked at himself in the mirror. The bruises...they were gone. There was- There was absolutely no way of knowing he had two very prominent black eyes. How the fuck? Whatever magic makeup Jungwoo had used on him Ten could have done with a long time ago. 

His skin looked soft and dewy, it was practically glowing. His cheeks were rosy and he looked... Kind of healthy, actually. It was a stark contrast to the dull, lacklustre skin he was used to. 

And his eyes. Jungwoo had dusted a burnt peach colour along his lower lash line which made them look way brighter than the rushed smoky eye he was used to. 

He looked...good. 

"Oh my god." He breathed, unable to hide the smile on his lips. "How did you-"

"The magic of colour correction, my friend. I can hide just about anything! It's usually hickies I have to deal with, though..."

"That's amazing." Ten leaned in a little closer. Even from this angle the bruises were undetectable. "I look… Like me."

Jungwoo smiled, chest fluttering a little. That's why he loved makeup; it made people feel better about themselves. Gave them confidence. It was like therapy in a way, actually. 

He hadn't seen Ten without any bruises, unfortunately, but he was pretty. Really pretty. He hated the idea that anyone would want to ruin that. That anyone would want to hurt him. 

"You look good." Jungwoo leaned up against the doorframe, pretty proud of himself as Ten inspected himself in the mirror. "And soon you won't even need the makeup."

Oh. 

Wow. 

That really hit home for Ten. These bruises… They'd be the last bruises. It wasn't a case of them fading and being replaced by new ones. He was going to have clear skin. For the first time in god knows how long. 

There'd be no more beatings. No more slaps across the face. No more fingers wrapped around his wrists to pin him down. 

He was free. 

He was actually free. 

"Oh, hey what's wrong?" Jungwoo took a step forward as he realised Ten was sobbing softly. The elder shook his head in response. 

"They're- I think they're happy tears." He hiccupped, followed by a laugh. They were happy tears. It was like it had finally hit him. Relief washed over him. It was over. It was all over. "I just- It's over. I-I don't have to worry about black eyes and-"

Jungwoo's heart shattered as Ten choked back a sob. He could only imagine what he had to go through. 

"I think I've only just realised that… I don't have to go back."

Jungwoo's shoulders slouched; it must be hard for Ten, for his life to change so dramatically. It made sense that it didn't seem real at first. But he was happy that it did now, maybe it would help him move on now he wasn't living in fear. 

"You don't. Ever." Jungwoo opened his arms fully intent on wrapping them around Ten from behind before he faltered. "Can I hug you?"

Ten nodded, thankful Jungwoo had asked. He couldn't help but flinch away when people touched him without warning. 

Jungwoo cuddled Ten to his chest, rocking him back and forth gently. Ten let his eyes flutter shut as he gave into the warmth. He'd never thought about how much he enjoyed hugs before, mainly because he'd never really had any. But they were nice. He liked that he could feel Jungwoo's heartbeat against his shoulder blade. It was soothing. 

"He's never going to hurt you again, okay, honey? You're safe now. I promise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are always greatly appreciated!! pls let me know what u thought ♡  
> feel free to follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/lowkeyamen) or send me any questions etc on [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/lowkeyamen)  
> thank u for reading!


	9. hotpot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 9! It's time for ten to start learning to live in the real world and work on getting over all of the trauma in his past 🥺
> 
> TW  
> agoraphobia

"Hey! I'm home!" Jaehyun hung his coat by the door. He was shattered. He'd spent the entire day going to auditions and he just prayed he got at least one of them. They could really do with the money. "Something smells good."

"Tennie cooked for us."

Jaehyun's heart swelled as he walked further into their apartment, finding Jungwoo and Taeyong at the table, the two of them talking quietly as Ten plated up their food at the stove. This was... So painfully domestic he loved everything about it. 

"I just..." Ten started as Jaehyun walked over to join him. "I wanted to do something for you, even if it's not much. To say thanks."

"I've already told you, that's not a-" Jaehyun gaped Ten turned to pass him the bowl. "Woah."

Ten smiled coyly as Jaehyun stared at him. He had left the makeup on, and by some miracle it had managed to stay in place. Jungwoo really knew what he was doing. 

The look had earned him an excited gasp from Taeyong and now... This from Jaehyun. It made him feel better. A lot better. 

"How did-"

"You can thank me and my makeup forever cream flash palette. He's pretty, right?"

"Of course he is." Ten was thankful the foundation Jungwoo had put on him was such heavy coverage because he could feel himself blushing underneath it. Embarrassing. "He's gorgeous."

Ten couldn't stop a smile from spreading onto his lips. Stupid Jaehyun with his stupid compliments. 

"Just eat your curry." Ten passed Jaehyun a spoon, nodding his head towards the table as a hint to sit down. Jaehyun did what he was told, pretty proud of himself for making Ten smile. He seemed to be getting better, which was all he could ask for, really. 

✧ ✦ ✧

Ten opened up Jaehyun's laptop. The younger had given him his own user profile so he could find something else to occupy his days with. Something other than daytime television - there was only so much he could take. 

Ten couldn't deny that he had been feeling better lately. 

It had finally hit home that Hansol wasn't coming back for him. He'd had absolutely no contact from his former pimp in over a month and he had never felt so free. It was ironic, really, considering the furthest he'd gotten to leaving the apartment was to sit on the balcony and have a cigarette. The idea of going out of the front door just... Terrified him. His bruises had pretty much all healed, but he was still so scared. He wasn't even sure what of. Maybe Hansol was waiting for him. Maybe people would recognise him. He just had this feeling that something would happen if he left. 

Which was why he had agreed to stop paying rent on his own place. It had been a struggle, but Taeyong had managed to argue his way out of the tenancy agreement a few months early and they had been over to collect all of Ten's belongings. Not that he had much, but it was nice to be able to wear his own clothes again. 

It just seemed stupid, paying rent on somewhere he wasn't even living anymore. And it's not like he could afford it. He had no income whatsoever, and he already owed Jaehyun and his boyfriends a fortune. He couldn't very well ask them to cover that too. 

Plus, he actually really liked living here. He'd never lived with...friends, if he could even call them that. Mainly because he'd never really had friends before. On the rare occasions he saw his previous roommate the two of them barely spoke, the other too strung out on god knows what to formulate a proper sentence. 

So, yeah. This was much better. He spent his days cleaning and cooking because he felt like it was the least he could do. Jaehyun and his boyfriends were giving him a roof over his head and food in his belly, he could at least do the dishes and vacuum in time for them coming home. 

But he was beginning to feel like it wasn't enough. Like he had to do more. He couldn't just keep living here forever, leeching off of people. He wanted to be able to contribute in some way. He did have a pretty hefty debt to pay back, after all. Even if Jaehyun said he didn't have to, he was going to pay that money back one day. It helped that there was no unnecessary interest being added on top, though. 

Which was why he was determined to find a job. Just... That was easier said than done when he had no work experience or qualifications or references... Not to mention he couldn't exactly leave the house to go to an interview, nevermind actually go work in a store or whatever. 

But... There was always stuff he could do from home. There were less conventional ways to earn money. 

And that's how Ten found himself sat in front of Jaehyun's laptop, completely naked apart from a tight pair of boxers chatting to some guy from Austria about the timeshare he owned in the Alps. 

He couldn't believe he could actually make money this way, that people would pay for the simplest of things. He wished he had known this earlier, then he could have made some extra money on the side for himself as opposed to Hansol taking everything he earned at that club. 

It wasn't a lot, but it was better than nothing. He knew he could make more money if he was willing to...do more, but he wasn't. Not yet, anyway. For now he was happy enough to just sit there and nod along as rich men with nothing better to do promise him the world. It was nice actually, having someone to talk to. 

Jaehyun and Jungwoo couldn't stay in with him every day, their lives getting far too busy. But he didn't mind, he would never stop them from furthering their careers, knowing how important it was to the both of them. Plus, he knew they could do with the money - because of him. Which was why he wanted to pay his own way. 

And this seemed like a great way to do it. 

He wasn't exactly raking it in, but he was making more than he did with Hansol, the website he was using only taking a small percentage as opposed to well over half of what he earned. It was enough to cover his portion of the rent and bills, though, and once he started saving he'd be able to begin paying Jaehyun and his boyfriends back. 

It seemed to be giving him his confidence back too, even if it was just a little. He liked the fact that he was in control of this, that if any of the men he spoke to tried to push the boundaries he could just close the session down. No trying to push anyone off. No trying to scream for help despite the fact he knew no one was coming. No being forced to do things against his will. He was completely in control of how he made his money, and if some weirdo from across the globe wanted to pay to jack off to his feet over webcam then so be it. It was a hell of a lot better than what he had been doing in the past. 

"I have a surprise!" Ten announced as Jaehyun walked through the door, Jungwoo in tow. Taeyong had already been home for a little while but Ten wanted to tell everyone at once. 

"Is it that tom yum going you made the other day? Because that was so good." Jungwoo whined, stomach grumbling. He was starving. 

"No. Better. Check your bank account."

Jaehyun furrowed his eyebrows, opening up his banking app. What the fuck. 

"Woah. How-"

Ten had paid a couple of hundred pounds into his account. Jaehyun had wondered why Ten had asked for his details earlier on that week. 

"I already told you, you don't owe me anything."

"I do! I've been living here for months and I feel bad. I want to be able to contribute somehow…" Ten pouted. He couldn't just keep leeching off of them, he had done that enough in the past. "Just take the money, okay?"

"How did you even make any money?" Taeyong cocked his head. He was pretty sure Ten was completely broke. "Did you go out?"

"N-No..." Ten sighed as Taeyong reminded him how pathetic he was. "I haven't… Yet. I just… Sold some stuff online."

Not technically a lie… but he was a little scared to tell them the truth. Scared of being judged. Scared that maybe if they knew what he was up to they'd kick him out or something because they didn't approve. 

"You're gonna have no stuff left." Taeyong scoffed. Ten didn't exactly have a whole lot at his apartment when he and Jaehyun went to collect it. 

"That's fine, I don't need it. But I need to give you guys something. I feel like I'm using you…"

"Babe, you aren't. It's fine." Ten's stomach fluttered every time Jaehyun called him that for some reason. How dumb. "We want you here, we want to help you. If— If you're making any money you should save it. For therapy or something."

Ten groaned. The three of them had been pushing the whole therapy thing. But he didn't need it. He'd survived this long without talking to some shrink, he was sure he didn't need anyone to help him. 

"I was looking online and I found someone that does home visits. I know you don't want to but I really think you need to talk to a professional. Maybe…Maybe she could help you go outside."

"I can do it on my own; I just need some more time…"

Jungwoo and Taeyong shared a look. Taeyong could see a lot of himself in Ten; he had refused help for so long when he was struggling, adamant that someone else wouldn't be able to help, that he could deal with things on his own. 

But he was wrong. He needed someone to help guide him through his troubles. He needed someone to talk to, someone who was qualified to listen and to help him. 

He knew it would take a while for Ten to reach the stage where he was willing to accept that — god knows how long it had taken him. But he hoped it was soon. Ten may have his walls built high, but they weren't quite as strong or stable as he liked to think. Taeyong could see he was struggling, no matter how hard he tried to hide it. 

"Maybe we could all do something at the weekend. Go for some food or something, somewhere quiet." He suggested, knowing Ten wasn't going to go for the whole therapist thing. Not yet. There was no point in forcing help onto him if he wasn't willing to take it. "You might feel safer if we're all there."

"Oh, yeah!" Jungwoo bounced a little on the spot. They hadn't been out for ages. "We'll look after you Tennie, don't worry. I can do your makeup if you want."

Ten's fingers curled around nothing, heartbeat rising. Even the thought of that... Well, it terrified him. 

"I-I dunno, what if- What if something happens?"

"Nothing's gonna happen." Jaehyun placed a calming hand on Ten's shoulder. He couldn't really understand why he was so scared to go outside, but he wanted to help him get over it. It wasn't healthy being cooped up indoors all day. He needed to take his life back. "We'll make sure of it."

Ten smiled weakly. He wanted to believe them, he really did. He wanted to go outside instead of just sitting around indoors all day. He wanted to be able to go out and get a job and actually do something with his life. He wanted to enjoy himself now he was finally free, but instead he was locking himself away. 

He knew he needed to try, but…what if it was too soon?

"I-I'll think about it."

✧ ✦ ✧

The weekend came around quicker than Ten had expected it to and he was totally freaking out, if he was being perfectly honest. 

He was stood in their spare bedroom, looking at Taeyong clothes in the wardrobe. The elder had said he could wear whatever he wanted, hoping maybe it would give him a little confidence boost. None of Ten's clothes were really suitable for going out for a nice meal. 

But he wasn't even sure he could put any of them on. It felt too… Real. 

"You decent?" The door cracked open a little, Taeyong's head poking around after ten had replied with a 'yeah'. "Anything you fancy?"

"I- I don't know…"

"You don't have to do this if you aren't ready; I just thought it would be a good alternative to speaking to someone."

Ten hummed. He really didn't want to talk to a therapist. 

"Try this one on," Taeyong reached into his wardrobe to pull a button up he hadn't worn in a while. It was a little too flashy for Taeyong's tastes nowadays, being an overworked student he could never be bothered to dress up anymore, but he had a feeling Ten would suit it. "You'll look cute in it."

Ten slipped into the shirt, appreciating the fact Taeyong turned around as he undressed. It was pretty stupid considering he was taking his clothes off for men on camera these days, but Taeyong seeing him topless felt weird. 

"Well?" He asked, once the shirt was buttoned up and tucked into the high waisted jeans he'd also borrowed from the elder. 

"Told you." Taeyong beamed as he turned back around. The shirt wasn't anything amazing; he didn't think it would be a good idea to put Ten in something that would have him standing out like a sore thumb. But it was cute. A black button up that had a sort of metallic sheen to it. It wasn't too over the top, but he remembered how good he used to feel when he'd wear it. "Come on, Jungwoo wants to do your makeup."

So Ten sat there in the kitchen as Jungwoo pressed foundation into his skin with a beauty blender. It didn't take anywhere near as long as last time now his bruises were gone. He just needed a little colour correction under his eyes and something to even out his skin tone. Jungwoo dusted warm sienna over Ten's lids, darkening the corners a little to really make his eyes pop without going too crazy. 

"Perfect! God, you're so pretty, I'd absolutely kill for your bone structure."

Ten couldn't help but smile, he wasn't sure he'd ever been complimented on that before. 

"We ready?"

Jaehyun was stood leaning against the doorframe to their open plan kitchen/living room, jacket already on. Ten felt his heart rate rise. 

"It's gonna be fine. You have us."

Jungwoo held his hand out for Ten to take, which the elder did, hesitantly. This was so fucking stupid. He was just going outside. How many times had he been outside of this one flat in the past? Literally million's. He spent twenty-one years of his life outside of this flat. 

And now the very idea of him leaving knocked him sick. 

"W-Where are we going?"

"We thought we'd go for hotpot. There's a place not far from here, like a few streets away. It's usually really quiet, so it shouldn't be too much for you."

Ten swallowed thickly. God. He couldn't remember the last time he had hot pot. It had been years. Way before he got mixed up in all of Hansol's shit. 

"You promise it's not far?"

"It's a seven minute walk, maximum."

Ten nodded. That was nothing. He could do this, right? A little walk down the street to get some nice food. In public. Where people could see him. And stare at him. And maybe recognise him. And Hansol could most definitely be among those people ready to drag him back and—

No. He was being stupid. London was a big fucking place. The chances of that happening were... Ridiculous. 

Hansol didn't care about him. He never did. He only cared about the money and he had that now. 

He needed to stop worrying. 

He could do this. He could go outside. He was a fucking adult for Christ's sake. 

"Okay." His voice was so small it made him cringe. God he was pathetic. "L-Let's go."

He gripped onto Jungwoo's hand as they followed Taeyong and Jaehyun to the front door. He felt his chest tighten as it opened, as he saw the street outside of their apartment. He had actually forgotten what Jaehyun's street looked like, having only ever seen it in the dark. 

He knew it was an upstairs flat, but he had totally forgotten it was practically street level, only about five steps from the passage way down to the path. The downstairs flat must be like... underneath. In the basement or something. Maybe there was one above too? He had never heard anyone up there...

Anyway, he was getting distracted. He was letting himself get distracted. He was stood in the doorway, Jungwoo on the top step, waiting for him. Jaehyun and Taeyong were already on the street, urging him on with silent smiles. 

He had to do it. He couldn't spend the rest of his life cooped up indoors. He was finally free to do whatever he wanted for the first time in his adult life and he was ruining things for himself. 

He couldn't let everything Jaehyun and his boyfriends had done for him be for nothing. He couldn't let the years of abuse he'd endured dictate how he spent the rest of his life. He was better than that. 

"It's gonna be fine." Jungwoo held his other hand out, allowing Ten to hold onto them both. "I'm right here."

Ten took a deep breath, nodding. He could do this. He had to do this. 

His pulse rose as he tried to move his feet but they were cemented to the ground, tears stinging his eyes because this was so fucking annoying. He wanted to leave. He wanted to go outside and go for food with his friends like a normal person but his body wouldn't let him for some reason. There was still something holding him back. 

"Ten, no one is going to hurt you. I promise."

Ten wanted to believe him. He had to believe him or he'd never leave. He'd be stuck here forever and that isn't what he wanted. He had to live his life to the fullest now he had the freedom to do so. 

He had to—

"You got this."

He forced his feet to move, eyes screwed shut as he stumbled, not realising the top step was about an inch lower than the passage way he was stood in before. 

But... He had done it. He was outside. 

"Told you."

Ten cracked his eyes opened one by one, looking up at Jungwoo through the tears that had clouded his vision. He had done it. He had— He was outside. Outside. 

He had gone outside and nothing terrible had happened the moment he left the flat. 

He had done it. 

"You ready for some food?"

Ten nodded his head, lips breaking into a wide smile as he wiped his eyes with the back of his — well, Taeyong's — sleeve. He was. He really fucking was 

The four of them made their way down the street, Ten swapping Jungwoo's hand for clinging onto Jaehyun's arm. He felt safe when he was with the model. Like Jaehyun would never let anything happen to him. 

"It's literally just around this—"

"Oh my god!" The four of them stopped as a group of girls approached them. "It is!"

"It's Jaehyun Jung!" One of the girls whispered, hiding behind her friend. 

"Can we have a picture?"

Ten could feel his heart rate rising as the girls began to crowd around him. He hadn't realised Jaehyun was that well known. That people would want to take pictures with him. 

It freaked him out. A lot. If these girls recognised Jaehyun then Hansol definitely would. He'd be able to find them. He'd be able to find ten. 

"I'm a little busy right now, sorry." Jaehyun could feel the way Ten's grip on his arm tightened. 

"Just one! Please?"

Jaehyun's eyes flitted over to Taeyong, his manager had advised him to take pictures with fans, it was great free publicity while his career was still growing, but... Ten's fingers were digging into his arm, he was clearly uncomfortable. 

"Tennie, come here a second." Taeyong prised the younger away from Jaehyun, giving him room to snap a couple of pictures with the girls. It was annoying, honestly. With Jaehyun's popularity growing he was beginning to get noticed more and more. They were going to have to start being more careful if they wanted to keep their relationship a secret. 

But right now he had to focus on Ten, who was practically shaking. This was a lot for him to take in on the first day he'd been outside in months. 

"Look at me." Ten's breathing was heavy, his eyes flickering over to the girls who were beginning to throw him weird looks. Taeyong put himself in the middle, blocking Ten from their view. That definitely wasn't helping right now. "They aren't going to hurt you, okay?"

"B-But they know him. What if— What if someone... S-sees him and follows us and—"

"Ten." He placed his hands on the younger's shoulders as Jungwoo joined them, also trying to shield Yen from what was going on over there. It was better if he was in a calmer environment. "We would never let that happen. You're safe with us, now. You're free, okay?"

Ten tried to return the smile Taeyong shot at him. But it was hard. It was hard to believe that after everything. 

"They just wanted to talk to Jaehyun, that's all. And I know it's annoying, but they aren't going to do anything bad."

"We would never let anyone hurt you." Jungwoo confirmed. He honestly wasn't surprised Ten was freaking out considering everything he had been through. It was commendable that he hadn't had a full blown panic attack. 

"You wanna keep walking? Get away from here?"

But Ten shook his head. He couldn't leave Jaehyun. Some stupid paranoid part of his brain was telling him that if he did something terrible would happen. That Hansol would come and take him away from Taeyong and Jungwoo. That someone would hurt Jaehyun while his back was hurt because they'd seen ten with him....

He just— He wanted to get over all over this. He wanted the intrusive thoughts to stop because realistically he knew they were absolutely ridiculous. He was jumping to these conclusions for no reason. This was a big fucking city. He wasn't important. No one cared what happened to him. No one was going out of their way to look for him. 

He had to get that into his head. 

But he needed Jaehyun close. 

"We... We need to wait for Jaehyun."

Taeyong nodded softly as Jungwoo laced his fingers back with Ten's, the two of them just standing off until the side until Jaehyun came back. It was clear how much Ten needed him at the moment. 

"I'm so sorry!" 

Ten gravitated back to Jaehyun's side in an instant. It wasn't that he wasn't thankful for Jungwoo and Taeyong helping him or anything, but this was Jaehyun. And he was okay. Nothing had happened to him. 

"I didn't think anyone would recognise me, like— it's literally around the corner and—"

"It's okay, y-you're okay."

Jaehyun smiled sadly as Ten's arms snaked back around his. He loved that Ten trusted him now, but he hated how terrified he seemed. How unsure he was of everything. 

"You wanna go home?"

Ten thought about it for a second. He did. He wanted to just curl up in Jaehyun's bed and never have to think about this again. But if he did that, then… He'd never leave. This was his one chance to really get over this. And he was already out, so…

"No. I'm hungry."

"Me too!" Jungwoo was so glad Ten had said that, not only because he was starving, but he was proud of him too. This wasn't easy, he could see that. But Ten seemed willing to conquer this, and even though he wasn't ready to speak to a therapist yet, this had to be a good thing. It was definitely a step in the right direction. 

"Well, it's just around here." Taeyong headed off, leading the rest of the to the little gem of a restaurant he and Jaehyun had found not long after moving in together. "You're gonna love it."

Ten smiled to himself as he followed. He absolutely loved hotpot when he was younger, but it was something you shared with friends, so he hadn't had it for ages. Not that he would have ever been able to afford it, even if he had friends… 

But this felt like a big step for him, a new chapter, almost. He was living his life like a normal twenty-one year old. He was going out and hopefully was going to enjoy himself with great company over great food. And maybe he'd even be able to do this more often. He'd be able to go down to the corner shop and get some bread when they ran out, or go on a trip to the grocery store. Maybe… Maybe he'd even be able to get a real job. 

"Oh my god you are!" Jungwoo added, ever since he had moved in too this place had become a regular date night spot for them. No one questioned three guys going out to eat hot pot. Hopefully Ten could be added to that too if he felt up to it in the future. "The pork here is amazing."

Ten braced himself as Taeyong pushed the door open, expecting the worst. It was going to be packed, wasn't it? Full of people being loud and… Staring at him. He was always paranoid that people just _knew._ They somehow knew who he was or what he had done and- It was stupid, some sane part of him knew that, but he couldn't help but stress about it. 

Maybe he _should_ speak to someone… 

But to his delight the place was practically empty, save for a couple in their mid-forties in the corner. Perfect. 

"Is this okay for you?" Jaehyun rubbed at Ten's arm, hoping he wasn't on the verge of a panic attack or anything. Maybe he had changed his mind now they were here. 

"Y-Yeah. It's great." He could smell the food cooking, and _god,_ it brought back memories he didn't even realise he had. And it got his stomach rumbling. "I'm starving, let's eat."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are always greatly appreciated!! pls let me know what u thought ♡  
> feel free to follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/lowkeyamen) or send me any questions etc on [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/lowkeyamen)  
> thank u for reading!


	10. library

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!!! omg i didn't realise how long it had been since i updated this 😭 but we're back and there might even be a lil glimmer of romance 🥰 someone may or may not have a crush!!!!
> 
> TW:  
> mentions of suicidal thoughts, self harm and past suicide attempts

After that day Ten found it easier going outside. He still hadn't been able to go out alone, that was way too scary, but he liked that they could all go out for a meal or to the movies and enjoy themselves. He couldn't help but feel bad that it was costing them money, though. He already owed them so much and, well… He still wasn't exactly raking it in with his webcam sessions. He was allowing himself to get a little more adventurous, though, knowing no one could actually touch or hurt him, and guys paid a hell of a lot more to watch him finger himself. 

It was weird that he was doing that in Jaehyun's bed, but… It was nice, actually. He hadn't gotten off in so long he was actually beginning to look forward to those sessions. 

Despite everything, Ten actually did enjoy sex. But on his terms. He wasn't sure he would be able to get intimate with anyone soon, terrified they might hurt him or all those memories would come flooding back. But when it was just him and the dildo he'd found in his box of stuff from his old apartment he fucking loved it. Even if there was some creep watching. At least he was getting paid, right? 

But he still hadn't told anyone that's where he was getting his money. He was so scared of what they'd think of him. None of them had ever looked down on him because of his job, but that could be because it was in the past. Because he didn't have a choice. 

He was pretty sure they would see this in a much different light. 

He was choosing to do this. To sell himself… Again. And he was choosing to do it from their house. He was fairly sure they'd kick him out if they knew. 

But it was the only choice he had. It was all he was good at. All he'd ever be good at. 

"Hey." Ten scrambled to hide his dildo as someone knocked on the door to Jaehyun's room. He hadn't even realised Taeyong was home. Holy fuck, that could have been embarrassing. "Are you doing anything today?"

"Uh…" Ten's eyes flickered down to the laptop on the bed. He had planned on making some money, but he couldn't exactly tell Taeyong that. "Not really."

"You wanna come to the library with me? It might do you good to get out of the house."

Okay so, just because Ten _could_ leave the house now didn't mean he always did. It had been about six days since he went for a walk in the park with Jungwoo. He hadn't enjoyed it. The park was way too open. He felt like it was the kind of place one would get kidnapped. 

But the library didn't sound too scary. Boring, maybe. But not scary. 

"S-Sure just let me get changed."

Taeyong gave him a faint smile before shutting the door behind him. No fun for Ten today. 

He held onto Taeyong's arm the whole way to the library. This was the first time he had been on the tube in… God knows how long. Even before he was living with Jaehyun, when he'd go out alone, he'd never get the tube because walking was cheaper. 

And he didn't exactly like it. It was cramped and there were way too many people and they were definitely all staring at him, but once they stepped out from the underground he felt like he had accomplished something really big. Taeyong even told him he was proud, which made his stomach twist in a funny way. 

"This sounds stupid, but… What do you do here?"

"I study." Taeyong sighed as he opened his MacBook up. He had just dragged Ten all over the place looking for the books he needed in a system that made absolutely no sense to the younger. "Exciting right?"

Ten hummed, not sure what he was meant to do. Just sit and watch? He couldn't exactly strike up a conversation, weren't you meant to be quiet in libraries? 

"You could go find a book of your own to read. I know it's not the most thrilling place, but I thought a change of scenery would do you good."

"A book about what?"

"Anything you want! It's a library. They have fiction or just about anything you're interested in." Taeyong paused for a second, realising he knew absolutely nothing about Ten. "What… What are you interested in?"

Ten shrugged. He had no idea. He'd never really had time for interests. 

"Well, what was your favourite subject at school?"

Ten faltered, picking at one of his nails. Here was Taeyong studying for his degree when he hadn't even finished high school. How was he meant to tell him that?

"I didn't… Really _go_ to school."

"Oh? Not a fan, huh? I get that."

"Something like that…" Ten mumbled. He couldn't tell Taeyong that he was a complete failure. That he didn't have a single qualification to his name. It was embarrassing. 

"What would you like to study at uni if you went?" Taeyong asked, trying to get a little more out of him. Who knew, maybe they could make these trips a regular thing if Ten got into reading. "Or what's your passion? Your dream job?"

Ten's mind went blank again. He had honestly never thought about it. A dream job? Anything but being forced to have sex with men? University? He had absolutely no chance of getting in so… It had never even crossed his mind. 

"I like… Dancing." Ten shrugged, because it was true. He'd loved dancing since he was a little kid living in Thailand. He loved it when he moved here. He honestly even loved it when he was working as a stripper. Pole dancing required incredible core strength and flexibility. It was just everything that came with it at Hansol's club that he didn't like. 

"Have you ever thought about studying it? Properly?"

Ten shook his head. 

"Because, maybe that's like, your calling or whatever. You could be a dance teacher. Or a choreographer! Imagine how cool that would be? Or a backup dancer for some famous singer. God, you could travel all over the world." Taeyong stared off into the distance, a little starry eyed at the thought. He had only recently begun to follow his own dreams as opposed to the ones his parents had chosen for him, and he couldn't be happier. It would be nice if Ten could have that too, after everything. "They do dance degrees, you know. Maybe it's something you could think about for the future. Or you could apply to help out at a studio — when you're ready, obviously. I could help you with a resume."

Ten swallowed. Taeyong was being so… Nice. Like he actually believed in him — which was insane because, come on, he was a prostitute that had dropped out of school at fifteen. He had no prospects whatsoever. 

But it was nice that someone saw him as more than that for a change. 

"Thanks, but… I don't think I have what it takes. And no one's gonna hire me. I've never had a real job before." He couldn't exactly put drug dealing and prostitution on his curriculum vitae now could he? 

"I'm sure there's something out there you can do." Taeyong smiled. His smile was so genuine. Ten knew that he was studying music at university, with the hopes of going into teaching. He'd be a pretty good teacher. He was so… Encouraging. "Not that I'm forcing you to get a job or anything, I mean in the future. I'm sure you don't want to stay cooped up in our apartment forever."

Ten shook his head. He really didn't want that. He finally had control of his own life for the first time in god knows how long. He couldn't spend it all stuck indoors doing nothing. He finally had the opportunity to do something. To make something of himself. 

He just wasn't sure he could. He didn't know how. 

"I do want a job, or whatever. I just… I don't know what. I'm not really good at anything."

Taeyong didn't like how little Ten seemed to think of himself, it hit a little too close to home. He had been in that position once — maybe not exactly, but he knew what it was like not believing in yourself. 

"I'm sure you'll figure it out, hun. There's no rush." Taeyong wasn't going to force Ten to do anything he wasn't ready for, but he really did want to help him, in any way he could. He'd already had so much time stolen from him, he should make the most of what he had now. "For now, why don't you go find a book to read?"

"Like what?"

"Anything you want." Taeyong shrugged. "Go find something that interests you."

"So, I just take it?" Ten hadn't been in a library since he was at school, and to be honest he didn't use them all that much. He realised how stupid he must look to Taeyong. Asking how a fucking library works. 

"Yeah, pick whatever and bring it back here. You can keep me company and look through it while I work on this essay."

Ten nodded. That didn't seem too hard. He'd just get up and leave Taeyong and look around this place all on his own…

"You want me to come with you?" Taeyong picked up on Ten's apprehension instantly. 

"N-No, I'm fine." He couldn't distract Taeyong from his work any longer. "I'll go have a look around."

And he did, but he stayed close, making sure Taeyong was always in his peripheral vision. Just in case. You never knew who could be lurking around in a library. 

But that meant his book choices were pretty limited to agriculture and art, due to the section Taeyong had chosen to sit in. He wasn't even sure what agriculture was, so he decided to pick up a book about surrealism instead. 

He had always liked art at school. He liked drawing and painting and had thought that maybe one day he might like to study it when he was older. But not anymore. He was way past that. He wasn't even sure if he could still draw, and he knew absolutely nothing about art history. No one was ever going to take him seriously. 

But for now it was nice to be sitting here, in a place that wasn't Jaehyun's bedroom, with someone that wasn't a creep from halfway across the world wanting to watch him touch himself. And he and Taeyong may be sitting in complete silence, but he was enjoying their time together, in a way. 

Which was why their library visits became a bi-weekly occurrence. Taeyong seemed to spend all of his time either at university or at the library, and Ten had no idea how he did it. He was so dedicated. So studious. If this was what university involved, then there was no way Ten would ever be cut out for that. 

He had found that he enjoyed reading and learning a lot more than he ever thought he would. To begin with they'd sit in different parts of the library so Ten could explore different things, but after a while he managed to navigate the place all on his own. Branching out into sections he never thought he'd had any interest in. Taeyong even checked books out on his card so Ten could take them home with him. 

"Did you know this?" Ten knew he shouldn't distract Taeyong when he was working but he was taking a little lunch break. "World War Two literally involved every country in the world."

"Why did you think it was called the World War?"

Ten shrugged, he had dropped out of school before they got onto learning anything like this. "Just thought it was an exaggeration. Like cause there was Japan and Europe and America. Countries from across the world. Not like— _Every_ country in the world. Crazy."

Taeyong smiled to himself. It was nice seeing Ten get interested in something, and history really seemed to be something he'd latched onto the past few weeks. 

"Maybe that's something you'd like to study."

Ten hummed to himself, turning to the next page. Maybe. 

"It still isn't too late to apply. I could help you with your personal statement and getting a loan and—"

"A loan? You get money to study?"

"Yeah. I get like twelve grand a year."

Ten's eyebrows shot up under his fringe. Seriously? Why hadn't he known this sooner? Jesus Christ if he had just gone to university then he could have paid Hansol off and—

Oh. Wait. He'd never get into university. He hadn't even finished high school. 

"That sounds great, but… I'd never get in."

"You don't know until you try. I managed to get in twice." Taeyong scoffed. His first go at university didn't work out, he'd ended up having to drop out, but the second time around things were going much better. He loved his new degree and he couldn't wait to start his teacher training. 

"Yeah but I didn't— I didn't-" Ten sighed. He felt so stupid saying this aloud, so he whispered it. "I never finished school."

"Like— At all?"

Ten shook his head. Taeyong knew Ten had ran away from home when he was fifteen, but it hadn't actually occurred to him that he didn't go to school after that. Which was kind of stupid because that was painfully obvious now he thought about it. 

"Well, you can still finish."

Ten rolled his eyes. As if. He was six years too late. "I can't just turn up at a high school, Taeyong. I'm twenty-one."

"No, but you could go to college. They do classes for people who need their high school qualifications. You don't have to be a teenager to get them."

Really? He could… He could do that? He thought that ship had sailed, but maybe not. 

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I am. Come here." Taeyong patted the seat next to him, urging Ten to round the table and sit where he could see his MacBook. "You can do English, maths and science, which you'll need, and then whatever else you want. History, art, geography, design. Anything, really. And even if you don't want to go to university it could help you get a job."

Ten's eyes scanned over the website Taeyong had brought up for a local college. He had no idea it was possible to do all of this so late on in life. 

"What if I'm not good at… School stuff."

"You will be, you're a smart kid." Ten's cheeks burned a little. He wasn't sure anyone had ever called him that. "Plus, you have me and I'm a pretty great tutor. Ask Jaehyun."

Taeyong had so much faith in him he felt like maybe he could actually do this. He could go back to school and learn all of the stuff he should have as a teenager. He could better himself and maybe even get a degree, just like Taeyong was. It might take him a little longer to get there, but he could do it. 

"And it's not too late to apply?"

"No way! I'll help you do it when we get home, if you'd like."

Ten nodded. He would. He'd like that a lot. This was all very exciting. So much so that he'd totally forgotten he'd have to leave the house and go there on his own. It was like all of his anxiety and paranoia were pushed to the back of his mind because this was so much more important. Maybe if he actually had something to live for, it would make leaving the house easier. 

"Y-Yeah. That sounds good. "

  
✧ ✦ ✧

"Who do you think killed JFK?"

"Who?" Jaehyun asked, eyebrows furrowed as he slid into bed next to Ten. The elder had been in there a while whilst Jaehyun was washing up, knees drawn up to his chest with a book perched on them. It was a sight Jaehyun was becoming more accustomed to. Ten and Taeyong's little library trips seemed to be doing him the world of good. 

"The US president? He was assassinated? Big conspiracy?"

Jaehyun merely blinked in response. He had no idea what Ten was talking about. 

"Taeyong thinks I should go back to school." Ten stuck a bookmark in between the pages he was up to and settled the book down on the bedside table. 

"Do you want to?"

"I think so. I never really… Got the chance when I was younger." While all of his old school mates were taking their exams Ten was on the streets peddling drugs for a guy who would make the next six years of his life hell

"Well, now you can do whatever you want." Jaehyun smiled softly. He knew that Ten thought he had messed everything up when he was a kid, but he hadn't. There was always time to turn things around. "And I'll be here to support you the whole way. If you want…"

"I just— I wish I could give you something back." Ten was excited about the idea of going back to school, but it meant he still couldn't contribute. Could he seriously live here for another four or whatever years until he could get his university student loan and finally give Jaehyun the money he'd sacrificed to save him? He couldn't do that to them all. He couldn't keep leeching off of them. "I'll get a job, I promise. I don't know what, but—"

"Hey." Jaehyun stopped him. "How many times do I have to tell you? You don't owe me anything."

"I-I know, but—" Ten sighed. Jaehyun did keep saying that, but it was _so_ much money. Money the three of them needed. And he'd been living here for free for so long. "I just feel so useless."

"You're not useless, okay. I said I'd support you no matter what and I meant it. If you want to go back to school, then that's what you're gonna do. You deserve that, Ten."

Ten still couldn't fully understand why Jaehyun was always so nice to him. How he could invest so much in him and ask for nothing in return. 

He'd been sleeping in Jaehyun's bed for months now and he didn't once made a move. He hadn't touched him or tried to kiss him or convince him to put out in any way. Nothing. And Ten was pretty sure Jaehyun must have a crush on him still. He just— He never forced anything. And Ten couldn't be more thankful of that. 

He did feel a little bad that he was selling himself to men online but couldn't even kiss the man who he owed his life. But that was different. They were anonymous. They didn't mean anything. Where as to Jaehyun it would mean something. 

And Ten was worried it wouldn't mean the same to him. 

"We can look into it properly in the morning, but right now I am—" Jaehyun yawned, turning his own bedside lamp off and shuffling down the bed so he could get comfortable. "Shattered. Night, Ten."

"Jaehyun—? Can I—" Ten hesitated a second. He wanted to give Jaehyun something, even if it was only tiny. Just— Something to say thank you. And something he quite honestly needed himself. "You know that night we— We napped and—"

Ten turned the other lamp off, not wanting Jaehyun to see his face when he said this. It was too embarrassing. 

"Could you hold me like how I held you…?"

Jaehyun could just about make out Ten's features in the dark. Months Ten had been sleeping beside him and hadn't asked for so much as a cuddle. Jaehyun knew it was because he was scared, but… maybe this meant he was finally opening up. Maybe he was beginning to trust Jaehyun more. 

"Of course," he opened his arm one, giving Ten space to settle down on his chest, "come here."

Ten was glad it was dark because he couldn't hide the smile on his lips as he settled down on Jaehyun, as a strong arm wrapped around him. He giggled softly at the pounding in his right ear. 

"I can hear your heart beating. It's weird."

Jaehyun let out a breathy laugh. He wasn't surprised. His heart rate had tripled the moment his skin came into contact with Ten's. His feelings for the elder had never once wavered, if anything they had only become stronger. He was falling in love with Ten. That much he knew for sure. He wasn't sure those feelings would ever be reciprocated, but he was pretty far gone. 

"You get used to that."

Ten hummed as Jaehyun fretted over what he had just said. God he was such an idiot. But Ten kind of liked the idea. Jaehyun was soft and warm and it was kind of nice having someone so close. It made him feel safe. Everything about Jaehyun made him feel safe. 

"Thank you, for… Well, everything. I'm gonna make it up to you someday, I promise."

"I told you, y-"

"I know, but I don't care. You have no idea what you've done for me and— What you're still doing for me. I've never met anyone like you and— I dunno. Just, thank you."

Jaehyun's heart rate was found through the roof now, there was absolutely no way Ten wouldn't have noticed. He tried to calm himself down but it was just so fucking hard. 

He hadn't done all of this for any particular reason, no other than the fact he cared for Ten and he couldn't stand the idea of him being taken advantage of like that. He had been through something similar with Taeyong and, he couldn't see it happen to someone else he loved. Because who was he kidding? He fucking loved Ten. 

But he never expected anything in return. He never expected Ten to suddenly fall for him because that just wouldn't feel right. He didn't want Ten to feel like he had to pay him back in _any_ way. 

He just wanted him to be happy and safe and far, far away from that awful man. 

So that thank you and this cuddle meant the world to him because even though it was dark and he couldn't see anything he was fairly sure Ten was going to sleep with a smile on his face. 

  
✧ ✦ ✧

Ten couldn't deny that he was feeling better. He wasn't trapped inside the apartment anymore. He was making progress with his therapist. He was even making plans for the future, setting his sights on finally getting an education. 

But he still had days where he felt completely worthless. Where he hated himself for being such a burden, no matter how many times Jaehyun assured him they loved having him around. How he felt like he was still using him for his money because he wasn't contributing anything at all. 

Where the memories would play over and over in his mind and just wouldn't shut off. 

On those days he could barely even bring himself to move from Jaehyun's bed. 

And today was one of those days. 

His eyes stung from crying, now dry and sticky, completely out of tears. They itched, and screwing them shut didn't help because it was like Hansol face was etched on the back of his eyelids. 

His head hurt, his thoughts too loud. He just wished he could switch his brain off and fall asleep but every time he managed to nod off his was shocked back awake because his nightmares were twenty times worse. 

It felt like nothing had changed at all. 

He still felt like he was in Hansol's clutches, only mentally instead of physically because the man who had plagued his life was now plaguing his mind too. 

It felt like it was never going to end. 

That even though he was away from him and was trying to make a better life for himself it was all completely futile because he was never going to be… Normal. 

He would never be a real person who could just cope with things and live a normal life with a job and study and… Be happy. 

It all felt so pointless. 

He felt pointless. 

And it made those dark thoughts come creeping back. The ones that told him he might as well just end it. He should spare himself the pain and misery and do the kindest thing he possibly could for himself. 

But every time he even considered it, the act of taking his own life, he couldn't bring himself to. And not because he thought he deserved to live or that he was gaining strength and would get through this one day. 

He just didn't physically have the energy. 

He was drained. Just wasting away in this bed. 

And Jungwoo saw that. 

He had found it weird that Ten hadn't wanted to go to the library this morning, even though he played it off as just being tired. 

But no one was tired enough to sleep til four in the afternoon. 

And Jungwoo couldn't ignore the fact he had heard Ten crying on and off throughout the day. 

So he had taken matters into his own hands and convinced him to come join him in the living room. To at least try and eat. 

Because he knew these signs all too well. 

"You're having a bad day, aren't you?"

Jungwoo finally plucked up the courage to ask after watching Ten push a tortelloni around his plate in a little circle for the fourth time. 

"I know it's hard, but I meant it when you said you can talk to me about anything."

Ten didn't respond. He barely had the never to open his mouth never mind formulate a sentence. 

He was just so tired of being tired. 

"You've been doing so well. I love seeing you go off and live your life. To hang out with us outside of the apartment and stuff. And seeing you smile…"

Ten had such a gorgeous smile; it really warmed Jungwoo's heart. 

He hated that it had disappeared. 

"I'll never be able to relate to what you've gone through, but I do understand a thing or two about depression, and… Talking really does help."

Ten exhaled through his nose as he looked up at Jungwoo. 

Talking? 

What was he supposed to talk about? 

"I don't know what to say."

Jungwoo's heart wrenched at how tiny and tight Ten's voice sounded. 

"I'm just… Done."

"Done? Like— Like you—"

"What's the point?" Ten's voice shook a little as he placed his fork down on his plate. He wasn't going to eat it anyway. "He's never going to go away. He's always going to be in my head, and— I just want it to stop."

_Done._

_Stop._

Those were massive red flags for Jungwoo. 

He knew exactly where Ten's head was. 

"Can I tell you a story? I don't want you to think I'm making this about me or whatever, I-I just think… I know what you're feeling to an extent, and—"

Ten nodded. Listening had to be easier than talking. 

"I was bullied… Badly. I mean I'm gay and kinda girly. I love makeup for god's sake." Jungwoo scoffed. Everything had made him a target in high school. "Growing up was hard for me and… It got so much worse when my Mom passed away."

Ten's mouth gaped a little. He had no idea. 

"I was fifteen. She was sick for a long time so it wasn't unexpected, but… Obviously I always hoped she would get better. But she didn't. And I was like, totally lost. She was the only one that really understood me. I came out to her and she was really happy, you know. She was proud of me."

Jungwoo smiled to himself as he fiddled with the pendants around his neck. A little aqua stone and a locket. 

"School seemed to get worse after that, and my Dad didn't care. I wasn't the son he had wanted."

Ten nodded a little. He got that. Completely. 

"So I started to hurt myself."

Jungwoo's thumb rubbed against the sleeve of his hoodie. He knew Ten had seen the scars on his arm; it wasn't like he always kept them covered when he was in the flat. Taeyong and Jaehyun knew all about his past. 

"Why?"

That was something Ten had never really understood. Why would someone make things worse? If they were struggling why would they want to add to that by cutting themselves? He endured enough pain from other people. 

"It always sounds stupid when I try to explain it, but it was like a reprise, in a way. Like… For a moment all the pain inside would go away because I was focused on a different type of pain. And it would last, but… It just felt better. For a little bit."

Jungwoo didn't hate his scars as such. He definitely didn't love them either, but they were a reminder of how far he had come. Did he regret them? Absolutely. He wished he had never fallen into the habit of self-harming, because once he started it was difficult to stop. It became an addiction for him. The only thing that could make him feel better. 

"But then it stopped helping. Everything stopped helping. People began to notice them and it was just another thing for them to make fun of me for. It was like an endless cycle. It felt like it was never going to end."

Ten felt his skin prickle a little. He could see where this was going. 

"By the time I was sixteen I'd had enough. I tried to take my own life."

"Y-You did?"

Ten found that so hard to believe. 

Jungwoo was so sweet and bubbly and he always seemed to have a smile on his face. He had been so lovely to Ten since the moment they met, had gone out of his way to help him and make him feel better. 

It was weird to think that Jungwoo had been in such a dark place at any point in his life. 

"I did." He nodded. It felt like a lifetime ago, even though it had only been around three years… But things had changed so frantically for him since then. He had really turned his life around. "I just felt so fucking shit and… It felt like it was going to be like that forever. I didn't think I would ever be able to pull myself out of that hole, but… I did. And it wasn't easy, but I did."

"How?"

 _"Lots_ of healing." Jungwoo sighed. 

The only nice thing his father had ever done for him was hospitalise him. And at the time he hated it. He had been so angry because that was the last thing he wanted. 

But it helped. 

Talking everything out and having a therapist compartmentalise his thoughts helped. 

Being diagnosed with depression and beginning to understand what was going on in his head helped. 

Doctors prescribing him the correct medication, even if sometimes it made him feel sick or like he hadn't slept in days helped. 

Taking a good hard look at himself and realising things weren't completely hopeless helped. 

Learning how to cope with the thoughts he was having helped. 

It wasn't easy or fast, and there were times where he just wanted to throw in the towel and end it all again because where didn't seem any point in even trying to get better but he was so fucking glad he didn't. 

He was proud of himself for fighting to stay alive. 

He was proud of himself for getting better, even if he still had bad days. At least now he knew there was some sort of light at the end of the tunnel, that if he had pulled himself out of that hole once, he could do it again. 

Most of all he was proud of himself just for sitting here. 

There was a point where he thought things would never get better and he was so happy he had been proven wrong. Happy that he had stuck around to find out, because he absolutely lived his life now. He had a job that he was passionate about and two boyfriends that adored him and he loved with all his heart. 

"I know it sounds like a cliché, but it does get better, Ten. He's not going to hurt you anymore."

Ten found Jungwoo… Inspiring. He had clearly come a long way. Looking at him now Ten would never have guessed he had been through even half of that. 

He had healed so well. 

Maybe he could get to that point one day… 

"Do you ever…" Ten wasn't sure whether this was appropriate to ask or not. But he needed to know. He needed to know if it would really all go away. "Does it ever cross your mind?"

Jungwoo shook his head without any hesitation. 

Because it didn't. 

"I still have days where I feel down, where I can feel the depression creeping back and I think I'm not going to be able to go off to work or whatever. And it's hard, I'm not going to lie and say everything will be sunshine and roses forever. I'm not a psychologist or anything, but you've been through something really traumatic, and mental illnesses don't just disappear, unfortunately." 

Ten's shoulders slumped a little. He had hoped that would have been the case. 

"But I haven't even considered suicide for a long time… I want to live. I deserve to be happy. I know that now. And so do you. You deserve it just as much as anyone else, so… If you ever feel like that. Please tell me. I'll try and help in any way I can because I know how it feels and— It's _so_ lonely. I don't want you to feel alone."

Ten could feel himself welling up. That tightness in his sinuses and the tears prickling at his eyes. But he has cried so much already today he wasn't sure he could anymore. 

"Have you ever felt like that?"

Ten swallowed as a tear spilled over his bottom lashes. That didn't count as crying, right? 

But as Jungwoo squeezed his knee he couldn't hold it back any longer. He had never told anyone this. No one he worked with, not even Jaehyun. Hansol was the only person that knew, apart from his old roommate who had found him, because he made sure Ten knew exactly what would happen to him if he ever tried and failed again. 

He was the only one who had visited him in hospital, which had felt like a little vacation in a way, before he turned up. He had some time to himself out of that grimy apartment he hated. Time away from the club. From Hansol.

But of course that didn't bode well. 

He was losing him money. 

He couldn't have any of his whores taking sick days, especially not one as valuable as Ten. 

And when Hansol found out why Ten had ended up in there... When he saw the marks around his neck from his futile attempt to hang himself… 

Well, he had only laughed. 

But that laugh in no way masked his anger. He was furious that Ten had tried to leave him. He could do whatever he wanted to himself, Hansol couldn't care less if he lived or died, so long as he paid back that money first. Then Ten was free to take his own life. It wasn't exactly worth much in his eyes anyway. 

"Y-Yeah."

Ten would never forget that sinking feeling when his eyes opened the next morning. 

He had passed out, lack of oxygen causing him to lose consciousness, but— 

It wasn't enough. Apparently the sheet he had ripped to make himself a noose hasn't been strong enough and he crashed down to earth with a thud, which had alerted his roommate. 

Unfortunately just in the nick of time. 

The doctors had saved his life. 

And he was absolutely devastated. 

He told Jungwoo this. Told him everything. How that wasn't the first time he had considered it and it certainly wasn't the last. 

But he never tried again Because he was so fucking unless he couldn't even do that properly. 

He would only mess it up again because that's what he did best. He ruined his own life over and over and he was terrified of what Hansol would do to him if he couldn't pull it off again. 

So it became somewhat of a fantasy. Sometimes he wished a client would hit him just a little too hard and it would knock him out. Maybe he'd get lucky and lose consciousness and not wake up this time. Maybe he'd get hit by a car on his way to the club. 

Hansol couldn't blame him for that. 

Though, if he survived Ten was sure he would find a way to. 

So it all just became some fantasy. 

And now… Even though he was free to take his own life if he wished, it still seemed impossible. 

"I'm just so tired. Mentally… Physically. I'm tired, Woo, and I…" Ten nuzzled his face against Jungwoo's shoulder. The younger had wrapped him up in a hug the moment he started spilling his guts, and he was thankful for it. He really was. "He's still in my head. He's always going to be in my head."

"He won't." Jungwoo whispered into Ten's hair. He didn't know that for a fact, there was only so much he knew about mental illness. But he was sure Ten could get past this. He seemed so strong. He had to be to endure everything Hansol had thrown at him for so long, and to still have some fight in him. "It might seem impossible right now but it _will_ get better. It'll get easier and you'll find yourself thinking of him less and less." 

"But I don't think of him, he— He's just _there._ I feel like I'm never going to escape him."

"You are. You have. You never have to go back there. You're safe with us now."

Ten buried his face in Jungwoo's shirt. He wanted that to be true. He wanted to believe it was true. 

"Getting better isn't linear, and you're going to have days where everything feels hopeless, but it isn't. You're only twenty-one. You still have so much life left to live."

"I just wish it would go away sooner."

"I know. I wish I could make it go away." Jungwoo had felt the same. The idea of living a normal life where his mental illness didn't affect him daily seemed miles off when he was in recovery. But it happened. 

It would happen for Ten too. 

"Just let me know whenever you're feeling down and we can talk or go out and do something to try and take your mind off of it. Just please don't suffer alone. We're all here for you."

Ten sniffled as Jungwoo held him just that little bit tighter.

It was sort of a comfort hearing Jungwoo's story. It gave him hope. Made him feel less… Stupid? Was that the word? He found it kind of embarrassing, being like this, being unable to rein his emotions in or control what was going on in his head, but knowing Jungwoo had been there too made it easier. 

He understood what Ten was going through. It made him feel less crazy. 

"Thank you… For telling me." He was glad he had someone like Jungwoo in his life. Someone so sweet and selfless. Someone who genuinely wanted to help him for nothing in return. "I think— I think I feel a bit better."

✧ ✦ ✧

  
Taeyong was _so_ close to getting his dissertation finished. So fucking close. Then he only had exams to worry about and he'd have a degree. Assuming he passed, but he could have an actual degree. This time next year he would be finishing off his PGSC and becoming an actual teacher. How crazy was that? He was so close to the finish line and this was honestly killing him, but he could do it. He knew he could. 

Just a few more pages and he'd be finished. 

"Hey." 

But then someone ruined his flow. He looked up to find… Ten? What was Ten doing here? 

"...Hey. I thought you wanted to stay in today."

Ten hummed, popping his book down on the desk. He had wanted to try and make some money but he just wasn't in the mood. He had been struggling the past few days even if his talk with Jungwoo helped. He didn't want to jack off in front of strangers today. So he thought he'd come find Taeyong instead. 

"Changed my mind."

"And you got here all on your own?"

Ten nodded, trying to stop a wide grin forming on his face. 

"You got the tube and everything?"

"Y-Yeah. It wasn't as scary as I thought it would be because I knew you'd be here and—"

"That's amazing!" Taeyong clamped his hand over his mouth as he realised he'd shouted. Oops. "I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks." Ten looked down, hoping in some stupid way it would hide his flushed cheeks. He had a habit of blushing when he was around Taeyong at the moment and he didn't know why. He just made Ten feel kind of warm and fuzzy. "I'm gonna have to get used to it anyway."

Ten had been enrolled in a high school education course that was going to start in September, and honestly? He couldn't wait. He couldn't believe his life was actually heading in the right direction for the first time in, well, ever. 

"Well, I think you're doing great. We should go out for food tonight to celebrate or something."

Ten scoffed. "Does me getting on public transport really qualify as a celebration?"

"Of course! Just think about where you were a few months ago. You've done so well, hun. You should be proud of yourself."

 _Hun_. Ten liked it when Taeyong called him that. Made his chest flutter. Just like it did when their legs would accidentally brush up against one another when they were reading. Or when Taeyong would rest his head on Ten's shoulder as they watched TV. Or literally every single time Taeyong would smile. 

It was weird. Really weird. And Ten wasn't quite sure what it meant but he kind of liked the feeling. Hopefully he didn't have heartburn or something. He should probably get that checked out if he did. 

"We can just get pizza or something if you don't wanna go out, though."

"No, I'd like that. It'd be nice. I like going out with you guys." 

"Great! Hopefully I'll be finished with my dissertation by then." Taeyong sighed, head resting on the table in front of him. "You have all this to look forward to."

"But by then you'll be a qualified teacher and can help me with all my homework and essays. That'll be like — Your job."

"So, you want me to teach kids all day and then come home and teach you?"

Ten nodded, a smile spreading onto his lips. He had never felt as at ease as anyone as he did with Taeyong. Not even Jaehyun. 

"And then we can go out for pizza and celebrate the fact that I managed to do a fifteen year olds chemistry worksheet."

Taeyong actually kind of liked the idea of Ten staying with them for that long. He knew most people would think he was crazy, but he liked having Ten around. He liked that they were helping someone get their life back on track because that was exactly what Jaehyun had done for him. And he knew his boyfriend liked Ten in that way, but that didn't bother him. 

Because…

Because he kind of liked Ten too. 

"Sounds like a plan, then."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are always greatly appreciated!! pls let me know what u thought ♡  
> feel free to follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/lowkeyamen) or send me any questions etc on [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/lowkeyamen)  
> thank u for reading!


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